


Santa Claus, and Silver Bells, and Mistletoe! Oh, my!

by Jennilynn411



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 31 Days of December fun, Babies, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Ginger Babies, Happy Ending, Justice, Lemon Cakes, M/M, Making Up, Meringue her lemon pie, Office Party, Revenge, Romance, Sansa is awesome, So many lemons, Threats of Violence, Violence, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:06:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 50,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5335205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennilynn411/pseuds/Jennilynn411
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>December is here at last! </p><p>Every day I will be posting a different short story based on various Holiday films. So grab yourself a mug of hot chocolate, and a candy cane or two and get ready to have some fun :)</p><p>I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Direwaggle42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Direwaggle42/gifts), [AngryTimeLadyClara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryTimeLadyClara/gifts), [darkstark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkstark/gifts), [firedew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firedew/gifts), [Threepaws](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threepaws/gifts), [LittleRaspberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRaspberry/gifts), [SnowWhiteKnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowWhiteKnight/gifts), [Sarah_Black](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_Black/gifts), [SassyEggs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyEggs/gifts), [AdultOphan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=AdultOphan), [FancyKid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancyKid/gifts), [alittlegreenrosetta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlegreenrosetta/gifts), [Shortsandramblings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortsandramblings/gifts), [Gingerpie81](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingerpie81/gifts), [iheartloki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartloki/gifts), [Tativi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tativi/gifts), [omj319](https://archiveofourown.org/users/omj319/gifts), [LittleBirdAddicted](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBirdAddicted/gifts), [Phoward](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoward/gifts), [ThatCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatCat/gifts).



> I own nothing Jon Snow. 
> 
>  
> 
> Hello everyone! I have missed you all so much. I'd like to personally thank AngryTimeLadyClara and darkstark for planting this little Christmas seed in my brain!

 

 

 

**Robin/Sansa**

**“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought. Doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”**

**~Dr. Seuss~**

 

 

 

 

Sansa stared at Stannis with hungry eyes. He was sitting up in bed, a cup of tea sat next to him on the nightstand. He was casually reading his emails. _Gods, he never looked so sexy._ They hadn’t much alone time as of late. She had volunteered to watch her cousin Robin while her aunt was on her honeymoon. Sansa had no idea how demanding that little boy could be.

 She hadn’t had sex with her husband in three days. For a newlywed three lonely days felt like eternity. Sansa had placed Robin down to bed an hour ago and hadn’t heard a peep since. She felt confident that the terror was safely asleep. She stood in the doorway of her closest and cleared her throat. Stannis kept reading his emails on his iPad and took a sip of tea before setting the cup carefully back down. She was slightly annoyed by his preoccupation, so she cleared her throat again.

She wanted to appear confident and sexy but she felt rather silly. She had never attempted anything like this before. _Gods, what if he laughs?_ Stannis finally looked up briefly glancing back down and then quickly back up in surprise. He dropped his iPad, it slid off the bed and landed on the floor. He didn’t even notice. Her husband was staring at her with his mouth slightly agape. Sansa felt uneasy with his reaction and walked slowly toward him.

She was wearing festive Mrs. Clause lingerie. The soft see through chiffon had feathered accents and the entire ensemble left nothing to the imagination. In her hand she held a shiny red riding crop. The way he was looking at her was akin to worship. She blushed; it always filled her stomach with butterflies when he looked at her like that.

 

 

“Have you been naughty this year, Stannis?” She prayed she sounded sexier than she felt.

He stared at her in wonderment she felt his eyes roam all over her body. “Gods, yes.” He finally choked out.

Sansa relaxed more and placed the tip of the crop under his chin forcing his eyes off her chest and onto her face. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He was already panting slightly and she smirked at him. He could rule in the boardroom all he wanted, but in here she was Queen, at least for today.

She bent down and whispered in his ear. “That’s Mrs. Clause to you.” She made sure to let her lips brush his earlobe. She smiled when she saw him shiver involuntarily with pleasure.

 

 

Sansa straddled him on the bed and looked into his dark blue eyes. She leaned back slightly and could feel he was already hard for her. She wiggled her ass slightly causing him to squeeze his eyes shut as his breathing became more erratic. Suddenly they both turned their heads as they heard a soft knocking on the door.

Stannis cursed loudly and she scrambled off the bead. She began throwing on various articles of clothing haphazardly while doing her best to cover up the damned feathers. “Just a minute!” She called out as she tossed a pillow onto Stannis’s lap to help cover an inappropriate bulge. She barely had time to finish buttoning her shirt when Robin came bursting in the room.

 

 

“I can’t sleep!” He announced as he ran around her in a circle before climbing onto the bed and jumping up and down.

Stannis began grinding his teeth while concentrating on holding a certain pillow in place. “Robin Jasper Arryn, you will stop jumping on my bed this minute.”

 

 

Robin looked up with wide eyes and backed off the bed so quickly he fell off. He began screaming and crying when his head hit the ground. Sansa rushed over and checked him for any serious injury. He was fine, _of course._ However his level of screaming was earsplitting. One would think he had broken every bone in his body. She rocked and soothed him like his mother but it didn’t seem to help.

 

 

Stannis leaned over and growled the dreaded words no child wants to hear. “If you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about.” Sansa shot him a warning glance but Robin instantly stopped crying.

Her cousin hugged her neck tighter and began rambling. “Mummy always let’s me jump on the bed. Stannis is mean…I hate him.”

Sansa sighed. “That’s not a very nice thing to say. He didn’t mean to scare you, he just didn’t want you to jump on the bed without permission.”

“He hates me. I wish I could make him fly.” He wiped the snot from his nose and Sansa smoothed his hair lightly. She had no idea what he was babbling on about all she knew was that her eardrums were grateful the shrieking had stopped.

“I do not hate you Robin. Your mother is on her honeymoon and will be back in a week. If I’m lucky she’ll come sooner.” Sansa wanted to give him a scolding look but couldn’t, she was secretly hoping for the same thing.

“You really don’t hate me?” Robin squeaked out.

“No. Now please stop your fussing and go back to bed. You have rudely interrupted our fun.” Sansa stared at him incredulously, but as usual her husband remained unapologetic.

Robin looked up curiously. “What fun?”

Sansa batted her eyelashes and looked at her husband demurely. “Yes, Stannis. What fun would that be, pray tell?” She saw his eyes momentarily flash with terror. He looked at her like she was a traitor. _Well, you’re the one who brought it up._

Stannis looked francticly around the room. “We were…going to watch a movie.” He mumbled unconvincingly.

“Can I watch a movie?” Robin slid out of her arms and looked at them both with eager eyes. _Thank the Gods for an oblivious six year old._

She couldn’t help but smile at him in return. Every once in a while she caught glimpses of a sweet little boy trapped within. “Sure. Lets watch ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’. It’s my favorite.”

“What’s that about?” He asked as Sansa lifted him off her lap and climbed back onto the bed.

She patted the bed and ushered him in between Stannis and herself. “It’s a cartoon about a grumpy man who hates Christmas.”

“So it’s about Stannis?” Robin asked as he jumped on the bed and snuggled up next to her. She chuckled at his remark and she saw the Stannis gave a a smirk as well.”

“I like Christmas, especially Mrs. Claus.” Stannis smirked while Sansa blushed.

“Mrs. Claus is boring.” Robin whined.

“I’d be careful if I were you Robin. Santa doesn’t like anyone being disrespectful toward his wife.” Stannis nudged Robin lightly with his elbow before grabbing her hand and kissing it lightly. _My elf in shining armor._

Robin was quiet while he mulled over what Stannis told him. His brow furrowed slightly. “Please don’t tell Santa what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

He looked so sincere Sansa couldn’t help but give him a sideways hug. “We wont tell we promise. But, only if you go straight to bed when the movie’s over.” She smiled at him and smiled back.

“I promise.” He leaned into her and Stannis started the movie.

 

 

Sansa couldn’t help but smile as she looked at them all, relaxing and smiling in the bed, watching her favorite Christmas movie. Well, they were relaxed anyway. She had a few feathers make their way into unwanted places. She wiggled slightly and Stannis held her hand his eyes full of mischief. _How does he always know?_ He traced her knuckles with his thumb and she blew him in air kiss.

It was peaceful moments like this that caused her mind to drift toward the possibility of being a mother one day. They had wanted to wait a few years but maybe that was a mistake. Robin was a handful but he never really did anything that was truly heinous. Maybe she and Stannis could revisit that subject once Robin went back to bed. As the movie ended her cousin began squirming under the covers and held something up.

 

“What’s this?” He asked innocently. Sansa blushed profusely when she saw what it was. He was holding up her riding crop like it was the sword Excalibur.

_Gods!_

“Yes, Sansa. What is that?” Stannis asked with a completely straight face. Now it was her turn to look at him like he was the traitor.

 

Sansa plucked the crop away and tossed it under the bed with lightning fast reflexes she didn’t even know she possessed. “Don’t worry about that right now. It’s off to bed with you.” She kissed the top of her cousin’s head as he nodded and ran toward the guest room.

 

She sighed and looked at her husband who was suppressing a smirk. Maybe being childfree for the moment wasn’t so bad after all.


	2. Rare Exports

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow.

 

**Sansa/Daario**

 

**“Roll up your sleeves, prepare the dynamite. Do what you do best. You have a grave to rob.”**

**~Riley~**

 

Sansa smiled as she felt the soft muzzle of Lady, gently nipping at her gloved fingers. She sighed and held out the packet from the local butcher shop. She could see Lady’s eyes grow wide with anticipation but she held perfectly still, like the proper little lady she was. Sansa untied the twine and opened the brown butcher paper revealing the delicate arctic char. Lady let out guttural noise at being denied the tasty treat for so long and Sansa giggled as she held it out. The fish was gone in instant. Sansa shook her head at the antics of her greedy reindeer.

She patted Lady gently on the side of her neck and finished patrolling the grounds. Maintaining Winterfell was no small feat. Most girls her age were attending university or working their way up the corporate ladder. Not Sansa, after her family had been killed she found herself the sole beneficiary of a large estate complete with a working reindeer farm, all this at the tender age of eighteen. The Lannisters had made a generous offer to buy the property but she knew her family motto. “There must always be a Stark at Winterfell.”

Under insurmountable adversity she had managed to take a strong family business and make it thrive. Thanks largely to the efforts of her best friend and assistant Kitty Baelish. Her friend was born with business savvy and her advice and guidance had saved Winterfell on multiple occasions. Sansa had the pleasure of introducing Kitty to her former uncle and famous lawyer, Petyr Baelish. It was at first sight and she was pleased to see them both so happy. In return Petyr had inadvertently blessed her life when he casually introduced her to Daario Naharis, a retired soldier, looking for work.

The Lannisters weren’t pleased their offers to buy Winterfell were rejected. There had been multiple attempts to harm her precious reindeer or destroy shipments. Sansa hired Daario on the spot to help with her security problem. She reminded herself daily that she hired him because of his vast qualifications and not because of his dreamy looks. It took an unbelievable amount of willpower to not stare at him all day long.

She was lost in thoughts of Daario when the ground shook with such a force she was knocked to the ground. She looked around and briefly wondered if it was an earth tremor but it felt different, somehow. The reindeer became skittish and Sansa realized how dangerous that was. She was still on the ground and if she wasn’t careful she could easily be trampled to death. Lady trotted up to her quickly and stood by her side protectively.

 

 

Sansa stood up and hugged Lady's neck; she could always count on her.

 

 

Sansa squinted her eyes when she saw smoke coming up from beyond the wall. The Lannisters were conducting an ill-advised excavation of the Haunted Forest. Legend’s foretold that doom awaited anyone who trespassed there. People would often threaten to send naughty children beyond the wall in a bid to scare them into behaving. Sansa knew the truth about the wall and they weren’t legends at all. Children _should_ be terrified of what lay beyond. _Gods, what are Lannisters thinking? It was madness to dig there._ They had awoken evil she could feel it.

The air became cooler and the animals were uneasy. The noonday sun was covered with clouds and darkness descended quietly. Daario hopped over the fence with a rifle strapped on his back. Sansa felt a great sense of relief as he came near. Something was coming, something ancient, something cold and something angry.

Daario looked at her. “Are you alright?” He gently squeezed her hand and she smiled at him faintly. Sansa always felt calmer in his presence.

She shook her head no. “Something’s coming. We need to prepare and we don’t have much time. I need you to gather every weapon we have. If you need help ask Kitty. I’ll gather the animals.” He nodded once and ran off silently.

 

Sansa whistled and the reindeer all made their way toward the barn. Lady did not leave her side. She made sure all the animals were fed and the barn locked up tight. She silently wondered how many would be left alive come morning. Her animals were such gentle creatures but Old Nan once told a story that reindeers belonged to the children of the forest and were more powerful then they let on. Sansa hoped that was true, it was a comforting thought.

The sound of a car honking pulled her attention toward the road and she saw Joffrey Lannister driving down the road honking loudly and shouting. She tried to make out what he was saying and cringed when finally made the words out. “We’ve found Santa Claus, we’ve found Santa Claus!” Sansa shook her head in dismay. Santa Claus was the name a mythical northern man. He had another name, an ancient name. In a time long forgotten he was known as the Night’s King.

 

 

Sansa ran.

 

 

Kitty opened the door when she saw Sansa sprinting. She pointed at Lady who was running beside Sansa. “Don’t worry.” Sansa said slightly out of breath. “She won’t come inside but she’ll patrol the perimeter.”

Her friend looked skeptical. “Honestly, sometimes I think Lady is more like a dog than a reindeer.” Sansa shrugged. But, she felt the same way.

Daario stood in the doorway. “So are you going to tell us what’s really going on, or leave us all in suspense?” He gave her a smile that made her weak in the knees.

“The Lannisters were blasting in the Haunted Forest. Joffrey just announced to the entire town that they found Santa Claus.” Sansa looked at them both to carefully gage their reaction.

Kitty scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Santa isn’t real.”

“You’re wrong, he is very real and very dangerous.” Sansa swallowed hard and said a silent prayer they would both believe her, their lives could depend on it.

Kitty stared at her blankly. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“I am a Second Son, and I know you speak true.” Both women turned their heads and looked at Daario. He was casually cleaning the barrel of his gun as if he had all the time in the world, “The night is dark and full of terrors.” He spoke so softly Sansa could almost believe he hadn’t said anything at all.

Kitty looked at them both nervously. “You’re both mad.” She looked around the room and helplessly shrugged. “Tell me what you need me to do.”

“You would help me, even if you think I’m crazy?’ Sansa was touched.

Kitty sighed. “You’re still my friend.” Sansa hugged her.

Sansa felt her eyes begin to water. She bravely held back the floodgates. “I need you to go home, grab Petyr and get as far away from this as you can.”

Kitty scoffed at her. “I’m not leaving you behind. If it’s really dangerous come with me.”

Daario stood up. “She can’t, there must always be a Stark at Winterfell.” He placed an arm around Sansa’s shoulder and she leaned into him. She didn’t know how he knew about her family oath but right now she didn’t care.

Sansa grabbed her friend’s hand. “Promise me Kitty.” Sansa needed to know her friend would be all right.

“Okay, okay. I promise.” Kitty looked at her sadly and left the house.

 

 

Sansa brushed away the tears and Daario pulled her in close before kissing her. His kiss made her lips tingle and she smiled at him genuinely. If she died tonight at least she would die happy. They spent the next few hours working on various strategies and kissing fervently, their hands wandering around occasionally. She would like to explore him more but they didn’t have the time.

Later that night they heard the sound of screaming animals coming from inside the barn. Sansa rushed over to the window and cringed when she saw an elf or Wight as they used to be called, emerge from the barn holding a reindeer head. Daario held her tight as they helplessly watched hundreds of mindless elves swarm the barn.

She buried her head into Daario’s shoulder when he hit the switch and blew up the barn. She wanted to pass out but his arms held her up. He was her rock and she felt safe within his warm embrace. They looked around for the infamous Santa Claus before spotting him standing outside the barred windows, staring at them. He couldn’t come inside that much was certain, he would need to draw her out but she refused to be goaded.

Suddenly Lady came charging out of nowhere and gored Santa with her massive antlers. She lifted him up in the air and Sansa didn’t think twice before running outside. She ignored the shouts from Daario to stop. _Lady needed her._ Her reindeer shook Santa like he was a rag doll. Santa hissed and screeched as he flailed about in vain. A few elves were still around but they were all standing perfectly still watching and waiting for a command..

Sansa took the opportunity to run at Santa with her dragon glass dagger. Her father taught her to always keep one tucked safely in her boot, just in case. She thought about her father’s smile and her lost family as she plunged the dagger into Santa’s back repeatedly. She drew strength from the memories and she hoped she had made them proud. She cursed aloud when she saw that the dragon glass wasn’t killing him. The wounds she had caused were smoking but Santa was still very much alive. She had no idea how to kill him and she was scared.

An elf suddenly jumped on Lady’s back and she dropped Santa as she reared up in pain and took off running. The elf was still clinging onto her reindeer with his teeth. She could hear Lady’s screams long after they both disappeared from sight. Her heart shattered at that sound. Santa picked himself off the ground and turned to face her slowly. He reached down and grabbed her by her the throat in an icy grip and squeezed. Sansa kicked her legs as he lifted her off the ground but it was of no use.

She began loosing conciseness as he squeezed tighter and her thoughts drifted toward Lady and how she had hand raised her from a calf. She thought of Daario and what might have been and as blackness consumed her, her final thoughts were of the sweetness of lemon cakes.

 

 

 -------

 

Sansa awoke in the hospital. She felt like hell and she had a sneaking suspicion she looked it as well. Daario was holding her hand and she traced the veins on the back of his hand absentmindedly, causing him to startle. She tried to talk but everything hurt. He kissed her forehead and asked her not to speak yet, her vocal cords had been badly damaged and were still healing.

Daario kissed her forehead before filling her in on everything that had happened after she blacked out. Apparently when Sansa ran outside he grabbed her father’s ancestral sword that hung above the mantle place and charged after her. He had a suspicion the sword was made of Valyrian Steel and was pleased to report his suspicion was correct when he easily sliced off Santa’s head with one clean swipe.

He was still tending to her when Petyr and a small retinue of armed forces arrived with an angry Kitty leading the way. Her friend had lied and come back anyway, refusing to leave Sansa’s side. The soldiers killed all the remaining elves that were literally running around in circles. So far there had been no sign of the Lannisters at the dig site, or anywhere else for that matter. The entire family had seemingly vanished.

Santa Claus and his dead elves had been burned and their ashes were thrown back into the burial mound beyond the wall. It had been sealed up tight on Petyr’s orders and the whole operation had been deemed classified. Sansa never knew Petyr was so well connected. She wondered what other secrets he was hiding from her. She wondered if she even wanted to know.

Daario opened his phone and showed a picture of a bandaged Lady surrounded by a few surviving reindeer. They may have blown up the barn but they released the animals before hand. Some of the sweetest ones had come back though and her heart ached for the loss. Daario kissed her gently and crossly told her she was never to endanger her life like that again.

 

 

 Sansa nodded and smiled faintly as he leaned down and kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I will posting a short story based on the movie Jingle Bells. The film is terrible but I always thought the premise was cute. 
> 
> http://youtu.be/xrcAcfWhQHM
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the next pairing wins a festive cameo! Yeah :D
> 
> Hint: The people have spoken: Facial hair is in.


	3. Jingle Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> I would like to dedicate this chapter in memory of my Grandmother. A mother, a nurse, a cancer survivor and my personal hero.

** **

 

 

**Sansa/Tormund**

**“I’m of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child’s Christmas magical.”**

**~Ted Martin~**

 

 

 

Sansa clocked out from her twelve-hour shift from the Kings Landing Children’s Hospital. Her back was sore and her feet ached but she couldn’t help but smile. No one really understood why she had insisted on being a nurse. Most of her friends were spending their parent’s money on lavish shopping trips and posing provocatively on social media. She knew that wasn’t the life for her. Sansa found her true calling was to hold the hand of a child undergoing chemotherapy or comforting parents in the hallway as they wept onto her shoulder. Her job wasn’t easy but she wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The thought of going home, making a nice cup of tea and catching up some reading sounded like heaven right about now. But first, she needed to visit her favorite patient. Joy was a sweet seven-year-old girl who had been diagnosed with acute lymphocytes leukemia. She had been placed on an aggressive chemotherapy regimen that would be difficult on a full grown adult, much less a child. Joy never let on how difficult it was, she just counted her blessings and smiled. Sansa admired the little girls courage. Every night she would pray to the Old Gods to bless Joy and heal her body.

As Sansa grew closer to Joy’s room she could hear her infectious giggle filling the hallway. She smiled and poked her head in the room. Dr. Luwin was dressed up like a clown and was making badly shaped balloon animals. The world was full of unsung heroes and her mentor was surely one of them. Sansa watched quietly as the ageing doctor held up a limp balloon and explained that it was an abstract poodle. Joy was laughing so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. It was tender moments like these that Sansa held close to her heart.

Dr. Luwin spotted her and winked. He ushered her inside and bid a goodnight to the ladies before waltzing out of the room with as much dignity as any clown could muster. Sansa shook her head fondly at the renowned surgeon with a heart as a big as Essos.

 

 

“Hi Nurse Sansa!” Joy was so happy to see her that it made her heart want to burst.

She sat down on the chair next to the bed and smiled back. “Hello, Joy.” Sansa looked at the cheerful girl and wished there was something more she could do for her. An idea struck her then. “Christmas is coming up. Is there any toy you’re looking forward to the most?”

Joy didn’t even pause before she blurted out the answer. “I want a Direwolf Plush Puppy.” Sansa smiled on the outside as she cringed inside.

“Are you sure about that? Isn’t there any other toy you’d rather have?” Sansa was praying there was another toy.

“No, I want a Direwolf Plush Puppy. I saw a commercial for them earlier. They’re so cute.” Joy smiled at the TV and Sansa resisted the urge to throw the set out the window.

“Well then if that’s what you want, and you’ve been good then I’m sure Santa will get bring it.” Sansa said a silent prayer that this sweet little girl would indeed get her dream toy.

Joy had a big smile on her face and handed her a picture “I made this for you.”

Sansa looked at the crayon drawing of the two of them in front of a castle. Her heart melted at the thoughtful gift. “Thank you Joy. It’s beautiful.” She meant every word.

“You’re welcome.” Joy said brightly. Sansa excused herself from the room and walked toward her car clutching the picture to her heart.  

 

Joy’s Christmas wish was a surprise. Direwolf Plush Puppies were the hottest toy this season. They were soft, cute, stain resistant and nearly impossible to find. She had seen first hand news footage of people clobbering each other to get a hold of these lucrative toys. Sansa swore she would never degrade herself like that but one look into Joy’s big green eyes and she knew she had no choice. Sansa Stark was going to get that toy even if it killed her. She sighed and picked up a phone to text her best friend.

 

 

**8:00: I need to find a Direwolf Plush Puppy**

**Sarah B. 8:05: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

**8:05: Not a joke this is serious. It’s for a little girl at the hospital.**

**Sarah B. 8:06: I feel bad I laughed now :(**

**8:07: You should! Now help me find one.**

**Sarah B. 8:08: Hmmmm I may know a guy who knows a guy.**

**8:09: You’re the best! Give my best to the Mannis ;)**

**8:10: :p**

**Sarah B. 9:00: Highgarden Super Center. The doors open at 6:00 AM. Good luck shopping on the busiest day of the year!**

**9:01: THANKS!**

 

 

Sansa arrived at the Highgarden Super Center bright and early. Unfortunately so did everybody else. When the doors opened her feet didn’t even touch the ground she was carried in with a wave of crazed shoppers. The store was in a state of chaos. People were screaming at each other and two men broke into a fistfight over a TV. Sansa quickly made her way to the toy department and focused on her task at hand. She was going to get that toy.

She ran toward the nearly empty display and her eyes scanned to the top shelf where one lone wolf remained. Sansa always knew there were advantages to being tall. As she reached up to pluck the toy down she accidentally bumped into the biggest man she had ever seen. He was a tall red head with deep green eyes and he looked like he could bench press a truck. In essence she was staring at her dream guy. The love spell was broken when she realized they were both reaching for the same toy.

 

“Excuse me but I believe I had this toy first.” Sansa donned on her armor of courtesy and prayed it would work.

“Sorry lady, but I got here first.” He refused to back down and Sansa narrowed her eyes.

“Haven’t you ever heard of ladies first?” She jerked the toy toward her but he refused to let it go.

“If you see a lady, let me know.” The now obnoxious man jerked the toy back and Sansa frowned.

“Please sir, you don’t understand I need this toy.” Sansa couldn’t believe she was begging.

“Oh, look! They’re bringing more out.” He pointed behind her and Sansa looked and it was in that instant that he wrenched the toy free and took off running,

 

Sansa couldn’t believe she fell for the oldest trick in the book and took off after him. Her years spent in track had prepared her for this exact moment. She jumped over spilled boxes and leapt over random shopping carts. That toy belonged to Joy and she wasn’t going to let some random ginger steal it. She didn’t care how hot he was! Sansa spotted the scoundrel rounding the corner and she pounced onto his unsuspecting back. The force of her weight and speed caused him to tumble and they crashed into a wrapping paper display.

He landed on his stomach with bows, tapes and rolls of wrapping paper scattering about. Sansa refused to get off his back and reached for the Direwolf but he held on even tighter. She grabbed the nearest roll of brightly covered paper and began smacking him in the head with it. Never before had she thought to use wrapping paper as a weapon but it wasn’t half bad. He yelled at her but she refused to be deterred. A sick little girl was counting on this damned toy.

 

“Get off me, woman!” He roared and pushed off the ground.

“Never! Now hand over the puppy!” Her victory didn’t last long because he somehow flipped her onto her back and scrambled away.

 

They both stood up panting and began circling each other. Sansa held out the now bent roll of wrapping paper like a baseball bat. She was mentally preparing for the inevitable round two when a male stripper dressed like Santa walked up to them. At least she thought he was a stripper he wasn’t really wearing a shirt and coat. She gasped in surprise when he spun the ginger haired thief around and punched him the stomach without warning.

The ginger headed nemises went down like a rock while the stripper from hell reached down and plucked the Direwolf away before making a crude gesture to her and taking off. Sansa wanted to chase after him and give him a piece of her mind but her nurse training kicked in and she knelt down to help the wounded stranger.

 

“Gods what was happened?” He wheezed out.

“I believe you just got mugged by a stripper.” Sansa said surprising a giggle.

“What’s so funny?” He snarled at her standing. “It was a sucker punch, nothing more.”

“I’m not laughing that you got hurt. I’m laughing at us. We are two grown adults fighting over a children’s toy and we aren’t the only ones either.” She gestured to the chaos around them. He shrugged and Sansa helped him stand up. “I’m sorry for clinging onto your back like a monkey.”

He scoffed. “What about hitting me with the wrapping paper?”

“Nope. I’m not sorry about that part at all.” Sansa smiled at him and he gave her a wry grin back. She couldn’t help but stare into his emerald eyes. She could get lost in those eyes.

“Well for what it’s worth I’m sorry I didn’t behave like a gentleman.” He seemed genuine and Sansa smiled at him. “Since this ended up being a complete waste of time why don't you and I grab a cup of coffee?”

 

Sansa checked to see if he was wearing a wedding ring before nodding. He smiled and grabbed her hand as they plowed their way through the throng of chaotic shoppers. They walked to the coffee shop across the street in a comfortable silence. He was still holding her hand and she couldn’t help but smile softly at that. While he ordered for them Sansa made her way through the busy café to find a table and send a text.

 

**6:35 AM: Didn’t get one :(**

**Sarah B. 6:36 AM: What? Why?**

**6:37: A stripper dressed like Santa stole it.**

**Sarah B 6:38: WHAT**

**6:39: You heard me.**

**Sarah B 6:40: You have the worst luck with men. Wait was it a man?**

**6:41: Ha! Yes it was a man and maybe my lucks about to change ;)**

**Sarah B. 6:42: When in doubt use the bend & snap. Works everytime.**

**6:42: Is that what you used on Stannis?**

**Sarah B. 6:43: No I used the combined powers of a short skirt, exspensive lingerie and a can of whipped cream.**

**6:44: Gods! Why did I even ask?**

**Sarah B. 6:44 :p**

 

When he finally sat down with their coffee he paused looking down at her phone on the table. She noticed he was studying at her background image; it was a picture of her reading to the children in the cancer ward. Their smiling faces were a great source of her strength. He sat down and and asked if he could take a closer look. She nodded, most people were curious about what he did for a living.

 

“That’s Joy.” He said softly.

“Do you know her?” Sansa asked surprised.

“She’s my daughter.” He looked at her curiously as if he was piecing something together.

Sansa stared in disbelief before regaining her wits. “I am Nurse Sansa.” She grinned at him and extended her hand.

“Hello, Nurse Sansa. IMy name is Tormund.” He shook her hand gently and Sansa marveled at how large his hands really were. “She talks about you a lot.”

Sansa smiled. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Tormund. Joy is a sweet girl.”

“Thank you.” He said, his eyes full of pride toward his daughter. “She’s a real fighter.”

Sansa placed her hand on his arm. “Just like her father.” She winked at him and she could swear he blushed a little.

 

They spent the rest of the morning sharing stories about Joy, the hectic life of a single dad and her career as a nurse. They spoke about their hopes and dreams and she was pleased to see they had a lot in common. It was almost lunchtime when they finally stood to leave. The time had seemed to fly by. Sansa looked up in surprise when Davos entered the coffee shop carrying a Direwolf Plush Puppy in his hands.

Sansa was so happy she almost cried. She opted to kiss his cheek instead causing the old sailor to blush and whisper if anyone asked he was never there and he didn’t know anything about a misplaced shipment of toys. He also muttered that he and Sarah were now even. Sansa wondered how he even knew how to find her but decided to let it go. She smiled as she handed the Direwolf over to a stunned Tormund. He took it gently and they decided to give it to Joy together.

As they turned to leave the café they stopped in the doorway when the baristas began whistling at them. They both looked up and smiled someone had hung mistletoe. Tormund wasted no time bending down and planting a kiss softly on her lips. She blushed as everyone else in the cafe clapped.

 

Who knew beating a man with a tube of wrapping paper could have such a happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I will be posting a short story based on 'The Long Kiss Goodnight.'
> 
> http://youtu.be/oDuma1M09B0
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the next pairing wins an awesome cameo! WAHOO :D
> 
> Hint: O Captain! My Captain!


	4. The Long Kiss Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry this was late! Yesterday was CRAZY!!!! I'll be back on track by monday for sure :)

****

 

**Sansa/Areo**

**“I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.**

**~Mitch Hennessey~**

 

 

Alayne smiled as she made her way toward Old Nan’s Bakery for work. As chief baker it was her duty to arrive before the sun was even up and set about her tasks. She worked odd hours that didn’t leave much room for a social life. Not that she would know what to do with one anyway. She still didn’t know _who_ she was. It had been two years since Sheriff Umber found her naked and bleeding to death in the snow. When she awoke in the hospital she was in traction and had no idea where she was or who she was.

The doctors said she was suffering from a severe case of amnesia brought on by substantial trauma. Specialists were immediately brought in but the only thing she could tell them was her name was Alayne. She wasn’t even sure that was her real name but it was all the information she had. Her body showed a massive amount of scarring and the doctors concluded that wherever she had been she had been tortured extensively, perhaps for years. That was when she decided that maybe her amnesia was a blessing in disguise. Sometimes it’s best not to remember nightmares.

It was a strange thing to live life knowing someone had tried to kill you and failed. If someone wanted her dead she doubted she could stop them. It had been years and in that time no one had filed any missing persons report that matched her description, or came looking for her. She had come to the sad realization a long time ago that she was a missing person that nobody missed at all.

The rest of her day passed relatively uneventfully and she was pleased to see her Christmas cookies were selling fast. She was so busy helping out customers she almost missed her baking assistant come in. The blonde bombshell had an extra bounce in her step and a wicked smile on her face.

 

“Joey, you have a flower delivery in the back.” She pointed to the gorgeous bouquet of longed stemmed roses on the counter.

“Oh, really? That’s nice. I wonder who they’re from?” Joey smiled innocently.

Alayne smirked right back. “I suspect they would be from your boyfriend.”

“Yes, but which one. Stannis or Drogo.” Joey skipped to the back to read the card before letting out a high-pitched squeal. “They’re from Roose!”

Alayne shook her head. “You must tell me your secret sometime.” She had been on a few dates with different guys around town but nothing really seemed to last. They just didn’t interest her.

“I’ve got just what you need.” Joey reached into her bag and handed her a copy of ‘The Dornish Karmasutra.’

Alayne opened it and let out a gasp. “How—

 

Her friend turned the book upside down and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively before whispering something so scandalous it caused Alayne to blush profusely and drop the book. Of course that was the exact moment a new customer would come up to the counter and ring the bell. In a clear panic she shoved the book into her bag and prayed no one saw anything. She could hear Joey snickering behind her.

Alayne gave her best smile and stepped up the counter before freezing. In front of her stood the best-looking man she had ever seen. No, not a man, he was surely a God among men. He was a tall black man that was built like a line backer complete with full lips and soft brown eyes. He was so handsome her brain almost shut down just trying to process it all. She had no idea how long she was rudely staring at him before Joey not so subtly bumped into her.

 

She immediately snapped out of her trance. “Old Nan’s, how can I welcome to help you?” _Wait, what did I just say?_

He smiled at her softly, which caused her to blush. “May I try some of your Christmas cookies? I hear they’re famous.”

Alayne froze like a Valyrian statue. “Did you hear that Alayne? He wants a taste of your cookies.” Joey whispered in her ear unhelpfully with a giggle.

She cursed herself silently for blushing again. “Of course. I have a batch cooling right now if you don’t mind waiting.” She gave him a slight smile hoping he wouldn’t be to upset about the wait.

He looked at her intently. “I would wait eternity for you.” He seemed so sincere that it almost made her dizzy and she seemingly floated into the back room, her coworker hot on her heels.

Joey gave her a wide smile. “Do you two need a room? Because I would happily arrange one for you.”

Alayne bit her lip trying to suppress a smile. “I made a complete fool of myself. He’s probably not even interested in me.”

Joey cocked her head and put a hand on her hip. “Are you kidding me? The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.” She snapped her fingers suddenly causing Alayne to jump. “That’s why your relationships never last! You’ve got a type.”

“Do you really think so?” Alayne had no idea but Joey was far more experienced in these matters and she trusted her judgment.

“Oh yes, it’s like the old saying goes. Once—” Alayne clamped her hand over her friends mouth to preventing her from finishing that sentence.

“Shhh, what if he hears you?” She was begging her friend to behave. Joey laughed and went back up front.

 

Alayne followed and handed the handsome stranger the cookies on a dainty plate. When their hands brushed she froze as a memory scratched at the surface of her mind. She was flooded with the imagery of a quiet picnic under the watchful eyes of a Weirwood Tree. Skinny-dipping in the hot springs that was followed by champagne and caviar. It was an afternoon filled with tender promises and kisses.

She wiped a tear away from her cheek. She hadn’t realized she was crying. _What is wrong with me?_ Alayne awkwardly excused herself and fled to the safety of the backroom where she berated herself for acting like such a fool. The memory was too much to handle and she instinctively grabbed her bag and fled out the back. Winter winds bit at her damp cheeks but she wasn’t cold. She was scared and confused.

Alayne made her way home quickly and dropped her bag unceremoniously on the floor. Why was she remembering things now? Who was she having the picnic with and why didn’t they come looking for her? Would she cry every time she helped a handsome stranger? Why couldn’t she remember? What happened to her? She slid down the wall and screamed into her hands as fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Alayne had never felt sorrier for herself than she was at this moment.

 

 

“Sansa?” Alayne looked up and gasped as the man from the Bakery stood in her kitchen.

She stood up quickly and grabbed the letter opener that was near her. “Listen, buddy my name isn’t Sansa it’s Alayne and you better get the hell out of here before I scream.” She didn’t know where her courage came from but she was pleased to know she had some.

“You’re right and wrong about that. Alayne is your middle name. You’re full name is Sansa Alayne Stark and you were born in Winterfell.” He took a step toward her and she saw that her kitchen window was open. _So that’s how he got in._

“Stay back” She warned. “Why can’t I remember?” She began crying again but this time she didn’t care.

He took another cautious step forward. “You were a spy for the North. Your code name was The Lone Wolf. Please believe me.”

“No! It’s not true.” She made an aggressive move toward him with the letter opener. “I’m not a spy, I’m a baker. I make award winning sugar cookies.”

He stopped moving and held his hands up. “You were a spy, a great one. I would know because we were partners. We were on assignment when the Lord of Twins betrayed us. I was captured but you risked your life anyway just to rescue me.”

She could barely see him now through her bleary eyes. “It’s all Lies. If I was really your partner why didn’t you come looking for me? I’ve been here alone for two years with no memory and no one cared.”

“They told me you were dead!” He shouted at her and she winced at the sound. “I found footage of you being submerged underwater and left to die.” He began pacing around the room. “I grieved you for two years until I came across this article of you in a random newspaper.” He waved the clipping in her face before continuing. “Alayne Stone also known as Amnesia Girl wins First Place at the County Fair for her sugar cookies.”

She stared at his face looking for any sign of deception but found none. “How do I know I can really trust you?” She whispered quietly.

He sighed and placed his hands on the sides of her face. “I know that you have a birthmark on your hip that looks like a paw print. I know that you would rather drink tea instead of coffee and I know that your idea of a weekend well spent is reading a good book.”

Alayne leaned into his touch as memories began clawing their way forward. “Your name is Agent Areo Hotah, code name, Longaxe. You were my partner… and my lover.” She said it as a statement of fact before collapsing into a warm embrace.

 

 

Relief filled his face and he carried her into her bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. He kissed her passionately and she matched his intensity and enthusiasm. There was still so much she couldn’t remember but at least this felt comforting and familiar. Her skin felt like it was on fire and she was driven by an immediate need to feel him inside of her. She kicked off her shoes and began undressing, he watched her with hungry eyes. Her blouse gave her trouble so she ripped it off, she could always buy a new one. He leaned forward and kissed her as his massive hands worked away at her bra clasps.  

Areo focused his attention on her perky breasts. He licked her left nipple followed by her right. She leaned back on the bed and let waves of pleasure cloud her senses. He was blowing cool air on her nipples causing them to harden and she moaned as he began to slowly suck on them. She began struggling out of her hips when he lowered his hands and unzipped them. He was still teasing her breasts as his hands slid down her thighs pushing the denim away.

She propped herself up on her elbows as he began kissing her stomach. Alayne didn’t want to let him out of her sight for an instant, she was afraid she would wake up and this would all be a dream. Areo seemed to know what she needed before she did because he began kissing her lips. This time she opened her mouth letting his tongue dance inside. His hands wandered to her hips as Alayne began grinding on him, desperate for some friction.

He moved his hand down her panties and stopped kissing her so he could look into her eyes for unspoken permission. She nodded and he slid a finger inside her he began stimulating her clitoris causing her to moan appreciatively.

 

“You’re so wet me.” She couldn’t respond verbally so she just sighed and began kissing him harder. She nipped his lower lip with her teeth earning her a pleasurable growl in response from him. Areo withdrew his finger and quickly began struggling out of his own clothes. She watched in fascination as his muscles rippled as he moved.

 

Areo once again lowered himself onto the bed and she dragged her nails over his defined abs. He closed his eyes and involuntarily shuddered. Alayne could see his that he was well endowed and erect. She could not wait any longer and she spread her legs for him thanking all the gods that she had waxed earlier that week.

Areo grinned and took his massive cock in hand and began massaging her clitoris with it. Alayne gasped and arched her back in pleasure.

 

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Alayne.” She said it without thinking, I guess that's how she still thought of herself.

Areo stopped moving and withdrew slightly. She groaned in frustration and he looked deep into her eyes. “What's your name?”

She bit her lower lip. “Sansa. But I don’t remember!” She was getting frustrated.

“What’s your name?” Areo began nibbling on her neck and massaged her clitoris once again.

“Sansa.” She gasped out.He smiled and placed the very tip of his cock into her vagina before pausing yet again. “Don’t stop now!” She was exasperated.

“What's your name?” He growled softly in her ear.

“Sansa, Sansa Alayne Stark.” She breathlessly answered. He smiled at her and slid the rest of himself into her. He was so big she gritted her teeth at the discomfort.

“It will get easier.” He looked confident so she nodded. “Now, Say my name.” He asked as he gently slid himself out.

“Areo Hotah. Please, please don’t stop.” If he teased her anymore she was going to burst.

“Say my name and whatever you do don’t stop.” He began fucking her with a new vigor and she pleased to see her body adjusted to him naturally.

 

He swiveled his hips suddenly and it caused his cock to enter her in a slightly different angle. She grabbed the sheet with her fists and screamed his name at the top of her lungs. Areo smiled and began kissing her neck. With every thrust of his hips his penis seemed to hit a magical spot causing her to claw at his back and beg for more.

Sansa’s mind began flooding with memories. She locked her legs around his back and flipped him over. She didn’t want to think about anything other than this moment. She had a desperate need to focus all her energy on the present. Areo smiled at her new choice of position and took turns grabbing her breasts and her ass as she bounced and rocked on him.

When her body suddenly climaxed she collapsed on his chest. Sansa could no longer fight the flood of memories as they rushed at her. She remembered being tortured by the Frey’s and shooting her way out. That’s how Sheriff Umber found her lost in the snow, half dead. Areo sensed what was going on in her mind and he softly rolled her onto her back before kissing her softly. His lips and tongue distracted her mind and she gave herself over to him completely. The sex was mind blowing and his kisses cooled the inferno that raged in her mind. When his thrusts became more powerful she moaned his name as he spilled his seed inside her.

 

_Shit! We didn’t use a condom._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be based on the film 'Gremlins'
> 
> http://youtu.be/8nGd36NhmTE
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a festive cameo! Sweet :)
> 
> Hint: Brothers can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
> 
> Hint 2: Any of an order Teuthoidea of cephalopods


	5. Gremlins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow.
> 
>  
> 
> So if anyone is interested here is a clip of RORY YUMMY MCCANN singing a song about LEMONS :D
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=XS1uBTs9cRQ

** **

** Sansa/Theon  **

 

**“You say hate Washington’s Birthday or Thanksgiving and nobody cares, but you say you hate Christmas and people treat you like a leper.”**

**~Kate~**

 

 

Sansa woke up feeling an urgent need to vomit. She ran to the marbled bathroom and emptied her stomach contents into the toilet. Theon padded in softly after her and held back her long red hair while he rubbed small circles into her lower back as she retched. When at last her stomach settled he went to the faucet and ran a clean rag under the tap. He wrung out the excess water before wiping down her face and placing the wet cloth on the base of her neck.

 

“You’re going to be okay. I love you.” Theon kissed her softly on the top of the head.

She leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you, love.” Sansa wasn’t sure what she had done to earn such devotion.

 

He nodded and left to go make his way downstairs and Sansa dared to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, she had dark circles under her eyes and then there was the fact that whenever she turned to the side she looked like a giant beached whale. _Being pregnant sucks._ She silently cursed her looks while she brushed her teeth and went to go find some breakfast.

The doorbell rang and she peeked outside before answering it. The last thing she wanted was some sneaky paparazzi photographer sneaking a picture of he looking like this. They were never kind to women in general and being pregnant only seemed to intensify their focus. She sighed in relief that it was only her publicist Victoria Clegane. She opened the door and quickly beckoned her inside.

 

“Good morning sunshine!” Victoria gave her two air kisses while holding large Bengal cat, Raspeberry cradled in her arms.

Sansa smiled and reciprocated the air kisses. “What smells so good?” She couldn’t help but notice the white paper bag sticking out of her friend’s purse.

She thrust the bag under Sansa’s nose and smirked. “Oh, just some jelly filled donuts. Nothing you would possibly be interested in.”

Sansa gave her friend a lopsided grin, as her eyes grew wide with excitement. “Give them to me now, or the cat gets it.” She playfully grabbed the bag and began shoving a jelly filled donut into her mouth moaning with pleasure.

Victoria laughed at her and set Raspberry down who scampered off to explore. “How is my future goddaughter doing this morning?” She knelt before Sansa and placed her hands on either side of the baby bump.

“Not very well, last night she wouldn’t let me sleep. She kept turning around and kicking me in the ribs.” Sansa pouted and gestured to the bags under her eyes while simultaneously rubbing her belly.

Victoria shook her head. “You do look a little tired. No matter, we’ll have you back to your gorgeous self in no time.” Sansa didn’t believe her but she extended her hand anyway to help her friend back up.

“She’s always beautiful.” Theon came up behind Sansa and wrapped his arms protectively around her before nuzzling her ear.

Victoria scoffed at him and rolled her eyes. “Yes, Gods willing the baby will take after her mother in looks and intellect.”

Sansa gave her friend a startled look while Theon stiffened behind her. “That’s not a very nice thing to say _Vicky_.”

“No, it’s not, _Flea-on._ You know what else isn’t nice? Calling animal control to report cruelty toward my cats.” Victoria was seething at Theon. Sansa had never seen her this angry.

“It falls under cruel and unusual punishment when you insist on dressing up your cats like Elves every year.”

“You kraken bastard! They threatened to take away all my lovely kitties.” Victoria took an aggressive step toward Theon while he pulled Sansa safely behind him.

“How many cats do you have anyway? I’m sure you wouldn’t miss a few after they were rescued from your crazy clutches. Who knows your Hound may even thank me for it.” Theon sneered.

“I swear to all the Gods Sansa, I’m actually going to kill him this time.” Victoria lunged for Theon but Sansa pushed him out of the way. Unfortunately she pushed a little to hard and ended up loosing her balance..

“Help!” Sansa called out as she fell managing to roll safely but still smacking her elbow into the imported Essos tile painfully. She let out a pitiful cry as Theon and Victoria quickly helped her back up.

“See what you did, Theon?” Victoria hissed.

“What I did? What about what you did? You cat hoarder.” Theon shot back.

“Four cats does not equal a hoarding problem!” Victoria glared at Theon before they guided Sansa over to the couch. She placed a blanket over before disappearing into the kitchen.

 

Sansa sighed as she reclined into the comfortable furniture. Theon kissed her elbow causing her to blush and went about thoroughly checking her over for any other signs of injury. She finally distracted him by politely asking for a cup of tea. He squeezed her hand and crossed the spacious room toward the kitchen.

Victoria and Theon were never going to get along, that was evident. It had been that way for as long as she’d known them. They were oil and water, or as Victoria often described good versus evil. She smirked as she recalled the day she told her friend that she was pregnant. Victoria was so excited until Sansa blurted out that Theon was the father. Sansa had never heard so many expletives in her life.

The pregnancy was a surprise in itself. She hadn’t intended to become romantically involved with one of Tinsel Towns notorious bad boys. Especially one who seemed to collect beautiful starlets like other people collected baseball cards. When they were both cast as the leads in the upcoming film ‘Gremlins’, she decided she would keep as far away from him as possible. That was easier said than done.

 

“Sansa?” She was pulled from her thoughts when Theon and Victoria both came back into the room, each carrying a cup of tea for her. Luckily she was spared from having to choose between them yet again when another voice popped up.

“Where’s a sexy redhead when you need one?” Sansa smiled up at the impeccable timing her stylist Varys. “We don’t have much time I suggest the two of you get ready.” He ushered Theon and Victoria out while snapping his fingers. Multiple assistants came rushing in.

“You are always beautiful never forget that.” Theon kissed her and handed her _his_ cup of tea before kissing her deeply, while Victoria made juvenile gagging sounds in the background.

“I told Sandor we would all ride over to the premier in one limo. I hope you don’t mind.” Victoria winked at Sansa who smirked as Theon groaned. As much as Victoria and Theon bickered it was _nothing_ compared to the insults Sandor dished out.

Sansa smiled. “No I don’t mind. I want my babies godparents to be around as much as possible.” She squeezed Theon’s hand while he shook his head helplessly.

“Don’t worry we’ll always be here for you.” It was a comforting statement to Sansa and yet a warning to Theon. Her friend excelled at those.

“Why are you all still here?” Varys pointed to the door and watched impatiently as her boyfriend and best friend slinked out. The bald man placed his cool hands on the sides of her face. “Relax and let my little birds do all the work.” Sansa smiled and closed her eyes.

 

Her mind drifted to those first few weeks of filming. Most women threw themselves at celebrities and it had caused Theon’s head to swell. His arrogance on the set drove her crazy so naturally when he made a pass at her she rudely turned him down. He wasn’t used to rejection and began following her around, asking her all sorts of seemingly random questions. He wanted to know what her favorite colors were, what did she think her spirit animal was and if she could only save one piece of lingerie which one would it be and why.

Sansa’s answers seemed to surprise him. Grey and white, Direwolves and she would rather go naked than have to choose. Slowly his unending questions didn’t become so one sided. She learned that Theon loved black and gold, that his spirit cephalopod was a squid and he too would rather see her naked than having to choose between her favorite pair of lingerie. They ended up laughing a long time about that particular answer.

Working on a movie is grueling work with long hours. One day after a particular difficult day he whisked her off to a diner where they shared a slice of lemon cake before he asked if he could kiss her. The minute their lips touched she knew she was in trouble. His lips were warm, inviting and tasted faintly of lemon. When he snaked his arms around her waist she felt her breath hitch and her heart beat so loudly she was sure it would burst from her chest.

Theon asked her out the very next day and Sansa readily agreed. She almost broke it off immediately when she had the misfortune of meeting his intimidating friends. One day his good friend Ramsay pinned her against his car and groped her while Theon stepped away to take a call. Sansa was so disgusted she kicked Ramsay square in the balls. While he fell to his knees gasping for breath she ran to tell Theon what happened. Ramsey denied it _of course_ and she was at a loss for what to do. However, Theon took one look at her tear-streaked face and knocked Ramsay out cold. He never looked back and Sansa loved him all the more for it.

When she missed her first period she thought nothing of it, when she missed her third period she became worried. The doctors confirmed her worst fear had come to pass. Sansa was sure Theon would leave her, after all they hadn’t been together very long. She was scared he would think she was trying to trap him or something. Theon surprised her by kissing her and laughing joyfully when she told him. He was so happy he ordered her twelve dozen of her favorite Blue Winter Roses and he insisted on being with her every step of the way.

 

“Gold dragon for your thoughts, Sansa?” Her eyes flicked opened to Varys, analyzing different pieces of jewelry next to her skin.

Sansa gave a shy smile. “I was thinking about Theon.” She couldn’t help but rub her rounded stomach.

Varys smiled kindly. “I see, and what colors do you intend to wear tonight?

She didn’t even have to think about it. “Black and gold.” Varys nodded his approval and snapped his fingers while his little birds flitted about showing her everything from the latest clutches to shoes.

 

When she finally descended the stairs of her mansion it looked like Theon’s jaw had dropped to the floor. Victoria and Sandor applauded her entrance causing her to look down blush. Varys bowed politely and took his leave, his little birds fluttering after him.

 

“You look like a dream.” Theon whispered in her ear.

“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” She said softly before slapping his ass making him laugh.

 

 

As the limo pulled up to the venue Theon squeezed her hand and leaned down to kiss her baby bump. Sansa smiled at him thankful for Gremlins, lemon cake, her baby and the love of a good man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on the film 'Home Alone' 
> 
> http://youtu.be/K4qLXp2kX3k
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a cameo!! How cool is that :D
> 
> Hint: Two faced


	6. Home Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow.

** Sansa/Jaqen **

**“This is my house, I have to defend it.”**

**~Kevin McCallister~**

 

 

 

 

Sansa sipped some of her lemon tea and grumbled as the power in her house went out. This had to be the worst Christmas Sansa she ever had and it wasn’t even over yet. She should be wearing a tiny bikini lying next to a pool and sipping on LBA’s and relaxing like the rest of her family, not trapped home alone because the biggest blizzard on record decided to descend on the North forcing all the airports to close. Her family had all left for Mereen yesterday but she had to work and regrettably chosen a later flight.

 

 

She felt her phone buzz and she smiled as her two best friends shoved their faces into the screen for a face time chat.

Joey spoke first. “Sansa! We heard about the airport closing. How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine. The power went out though.” Sansa moved her phone around so they could see how dark it was.

“Yikes! Do you want me to call Roose and have him check up on you?” Joey smiled helpfully but Sansa shook her head no.

“He’s the chief of police. I’m sure he’s a little busy at the moment.” Sansa didn’t want to interrupt him at work over something so minor as a power outage.

“Well okay, but I’m going to text you his personal number in case you change your mind. He will come quicker if you tell him you’re naked. Trust me.” Joey said with a wink.

“Don’t tell her that!” She could hear May admonishing Joey. “Don’t tell him your naked, tell him you’re scared and you’re hiding under your bed wearing a provocative negligee, instead.”

Joey giggled. “That’s a good idea. I may have to use that one.” All the girls were laughing now.

“Ummm, yeah… I won’t be telling him either of those things,” Sansa said while blushing.

“How’s Willas doing?” Today was the day of the big surgery and she hoped everything was going well for her friend.

May smiled. “He’s doing really well. Doctor Baratheon believes with physical therapy his leg will be good as new.”

“That’s great.” Sansa was pleased at least something went right today.

Joey chimed in. “Stannis can give me a physical any day.” May nudged her playfully. “Seriously though, be careful tonight. Roose told me that they have a group of burglars targeting wealthy homes. They call themselves the Wet Bandits.”

“I heard about them, they’re real animals. They have a nasty habit of torturing any victims they find alone in the homes they rob. So don’t forget to lock up.” May said worriedly.

“You guy’s have nothing to worry about. I’m going to check on the tenant and then I’ll lock this place up tighter than the Bank of Bravos. I’ll call you in the morning so you know I’m alive.” She said her goodbyes before hanging up.

 

 

With the power out Sansa knew it was her responsibility to go check on their mysterious tenant. Mr. H’ghar. She wasn’t sure what he did for a living she thought it would be to forward to ask. Arya had tried to tell everybody that he was really a trained assassin working for the government but nobody believed her. What Sansa did know was that he was a quiet man who liked to read poetry and spoke with an exotic accent. She would often stare wistfully at him when his back was turned and would blush whenever she would catch him doing the same.

She struggled to get on her boots, winter coat, scarf and gloves before trudging outside in the bitter cold. Her flashlight was held firmly in her hand as she made her way toward the guesthouse. He probably wasn’t home but she would be remiss if she didn’t find out. The winter winds were biting at her cheeks and even with the light she could barely see in front of her. A powerful gust of wind came out behind her knocking her down and sending her flashlight flying. Sansa cried out in pain as her ankle twisted and gave a sickening pop.

Sansa gritted her teeth and tried to stand back up but the pain was too great and she collapsed. She rolled onto her back and took ragged breath as the snow swirled angrily around her. Her body began shivering as a cold panic descended upon her. She was startled out of her despair when she felt a pair of strong muscular arms lift her up gently. She knew who he was even if she could barley see his face in the darkness. Sansa tucked her head into the crook of his neck as he carried her safely back to Winterfell.

Once inside Mr. H’ghar laid her on the sofa and went about building a roaring fire. Sansa watched him in utter fascination as he worked silently. His movements were soft and fluid like the water dancers she used to watch as a child. He turned his gaze toward her and she looked quickly away, embarrassed that he had caught her staring. He smiled politely and helped her out of her winter gear taking extra care with her ankle.

 

 

“This man would like to know why a girl was outside in the snow.” Sansa looked up ay him startled.

“Oh, I went to go see if you were alright.” Sansa stared at her hands awkwardly.

“This man is touched by a girls concern.” He sat down next to her and elevated her ankle with some pillows.

“Thank you for rescuing me.” She didn’t want to think about what would have happened to her out there in the snow without him.

“This man does not mind helping a beautiful lost wolf.” He leaned in and kissed her suddenly. She was so surprised by the softness of his lips that she failed to notice him rotating her ankle. She hissed in his mouth a mixture of ecstasy and pain. He broke the kiss and she smiled softly at him.

“Please, call me Sansa.”

“This man apologizes for the deceptive kiss and asks that Sansa call him Jaqen.” He lightly brushed the tips of his fingers across the bottom of her foot causing her to squirm slightly.

She scrunched up her face. “Jaqen, that tickles.” He stopped and looked at her with a soft smile.

“This man enjoys hearing his name spoken by a beautiful and kind Sansa Stark.” He leaned in closer. “The ankle is not broken, only twisted. It will heal.” He was staring at her thoughtfully. Sansa did not hesitate as she leaned forward and kissed him.

 

Their kisses were soft and gentle like the melody of a lullaby long forgotten. He placed a hand on the back of her head while his fingers entwined her coppery strands. Jaqen tugged at them slightly and she moaned in his mouth. She began unbuttoning her shirt until he stilled her hands so he could do it for her. He began kissing her neck and working his mouth down the front of her chest. Sansa gripped the couch as she felt heat and desire pool within her.

Jaqen lifted the rest of her shirt off and smiled at the sight of her black and white bra. He brushed his fingers over the fabric causing her nipples to harden. She sat up straighter and lifted her hair away from her neck exposing the back clasp. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled her scent as he deftly unhooked her bra freeing her breasts from their cage. She shivered involuntarily as cooler air hit her sensitive nipples.

He kissed her vigorously letting his hands wander over her breasts when they both heard a crash. She jumped slightly causing her to wince in pain as she twisted her ankle slightly. Jaqen placed his hand on her cheek and covered her with a blanket before leaving to go check out the sound above. Sansa hoped that the sound they heard was just the wind and not some dangerous burglar. She was in no condition to fight.

Sansa looked around for a weapon but all she found was a pencil stuffed in the cushions. She tucked it safely behind her ear and clutched the blanket around her tighter. When Jaqen finally descended back downstairs slightly disheveled she breathed a sigh of relief. He disappeared into the kitchen and came back carrying an ice pack for her ankle.

 

“Is everything okay?” She didn’t want to pry but his knuckles looked swollen.

“This man is alright. A fallen tree branch broke the upstairs window. Some glass cut up the hands.” Sansa knew it was silly but she gently kissed his swollen hand.

He leaned into her and caressed her cheek. “Sansa Stark has beauty that radiates from within.” She leaned into his touch causing her blanket to slide from her torso. He looked at her breasts with pure admiration.

“Please kiss me.” She looked into his dark eyes pleadingly.

“This man is happy to oblige his fair lady.” She thought he would kiss her mouth but she was wrong.

 

He smiled at her and laid her back gently on the couch he gestured toward her pants and she bit her lip and nodded. Jaqen removed her pants carefully taking extra care not to disturb her ankle. Once again she saw him visibly still at her matching black and white panties. He slipped them off her body reverently and kissed her newly exposed skin. Sansa arched her back and murmured his name as his tongue began to draw a circular pattern over her labia.

Jaqen grew bold as she withered and moaned under him. His tongue teased her clitoris while his fingers began exploring the opening of her vagina. She was unable to suppress the ripples of pleasure that were coursing through her body. He placed a hand on her hip tightly causing her to involuntarily grind her vulva in his face. Jaqen stopped and looked up at her with a sly smile, his face gleaming with her wetness in the firelight. She blushed as he continued licking and sucking on her with more vigor.

Sansa was arching her back and screaming his name when they heard the sound of a door slamming shut upstairs. She jumped once again only this time she didn’t notice her throbbing ankle. Jaqen stood up silently covering her up with the blanket again and motioned for her that everything was all right before he walked briskly upstairs. She was so scared she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until it was too late.

She tried to scream as a hand clamped around her face muffling her cries. Her attacker dragged her off the couch and into the kitchen. She scratched at his arms but he only held on tighter.

 

“I’m going to fuck you bloody, whore.” Sansa would recognize the voice of Joffrey Lannister anywhere. Her blood turned to ice in her veins.

“No!” It was all she could muffle out before she remembered the pencil. She plucked it out behind her ear and jammed it into his hand as hard as she could before it snapped.

“Bitch!” He roared before smacking her in the face sending her crashing to the floor. She tried to crawl away before he grabbed her twisted ankle and pulled her back toward him. “Where the fuck—

 

Sansa spun around and blinked slowly as he released her and grabbed his neck. She could see the tip of a fillet knife sticking out of his throat. He stumbled around the kitchen knocking over pots and pans before crashing into the corner gurgling on his blood. Sansa was terrified and jumped when Jaqen wrapped his arms around her trembling body. They didn’t speak a word they just held each other.

 

Once her breathing steadied and she relaxed slightly Jaqen looked at her ankle. She was getting queasy from the pain so she decided to ask him a question to take her mind off it. “Why did you kill him?”

“The cub meant to harm to the wolf, this man could never allow that.” His face was lined with worry and Sansa pressed her forehead against his. He held her gently and looked into her eyes. “This man wishes to know if death distresses his lady?”

“No, everybody dies eventually. I was simply wondering why you chose to give him the gift.” She bit her lower lip hoping she didn’t sound foolish.

He looked at her so intently his eyes seemed like they were dancing. “This man thinks his lady is familiar with the wisdom of many-Faced God.” Sansa blushed slightly and nodded.

“He is the only God that truly fascinates me.” Jaqen suddenly became incredibly excited and kissed her hungrily. She kissed him with a similar hunger and want.

They paused briefly to catch their breath and so he could look into her eyes. “This man confesses there are other gifts to the Many-Faced God upstairs. They will be gone by the time his lady wakes.”

She nodded at him grateful she wouldn’t have to see the bodies herself. “Thank you for telling me.” He stroked her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“This man would like to worship his lady this night and every night she will have him.” She nodded at him shyly as he gathered her up in his arms and carried her back to the living room.

 

They made love in the glow of the fireplace and fell asleep naked in each other’s arms. That was the exact position they were found in the next morning when her friends burst into her home with Roose Bolton pushing Willas Tyrell in a wheelchair. They came in hollering for her and demanding to know if she was all right and why was she ignoring their calls. Of course the questions all stopped when they saw Sansa and Jaqen in a compromising position _naked._ She knew she was never going to live this down.

 

 

She really did have the worst luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I will be posting a short story based on the film "The Family Stone"
> 
> http://youtu.be/_wM0Zn3493o
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a cameo! WOOT :D
> 
> Hint: Orphan


	7. The Family Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

** **

**Sansa/Jaime**

**“You have a freak flag. You just don’t show it.”**

**~Ben Stone~**

 

 

 

Sansa smiled as the car pulled up to Casterly Rock. She was nervous meeting all the Lannisters at once, but Joffrey assured her they would lover her. They had only been dating for a year but he had been hinting that he wanted to become engaged by Christmas. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that since he never bothered to ask her how she felt about anything. She wanted to foccus on her modeling career that had taken off. Lately all they did was fight about how much time she spent on shoots. The titanium plate and six screws in her arm were proof of just how angry he could get.

The chauffer offered her his hand when they arrived and Sansa was too swept up in the beauty and splendor of the Lannister Estate that she failed to move out of Joffrey’s way. He kicked her in the back of the knees causing her to fall down. The gravel drive bit into her kneecaps and palms as she braced herself.

 

 

“That’s how I like my bitches. On their knees.” He laughed at her as he walked toward the house.

“I apologize for my nephews rude behavior. Here let me help you up.” Sansa turned her face up to the sky and saw a familiar face above her grinning.

“King Slayer?” Sansa stared in disbelief as he helped her stand. “Is it…really you?” She brushed the dirt off her clothes.

He winked at her. “The one and only. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that pretty smile. How’ve you been Red? He plucked a stick out of her hair his hand brushing softly against her jaw.

Sansa blushed at his touch. The memory of his kisses came flooding back in vivid detail. “I’ve been good, Jaime. My wrist is almost back to normal.”

Jaime narrowed his eyes and traced her scar with his fingertips. “He should have known better.”

She placed her own hand on his prosthetic. “I missed you Jaime, and please call me Sansa.” He flinched instinctively at her touch before relaxing slightly.

“Sweet Sansa.” He bowed and kissed the back of her hand before disappearing without a word. She briefly wondered if she would see him again. Jaime had a knack for disappearing.

 

 

They had met at the rehabilitation clinic where more then just physical injuries were healed. He was a bitter, angry man who had recently lost his hand in a tragic motorcycle accident. Sansa was just a stupid girl with stupid dreams recovering from a push down the stairs that almost killed her. She didn’t even know his name; she just called him King Slayer because that was what was written on his shirt. He called her Red because of her hair and the fact that she blushed whenever he whistled at her.

He was sarcastic and would often tease her mercilessly but still she refused to be riled up. Sansa become his biggest challenge, he worked harder to make her laugh than he did working with his new prosthetic. For every vulgar joke and snide remark he threw her way she would return it with impeccable manners, her armor of courtesy ever firmly in place. She became the calming influence in his life and in return she grew to be more confident around him. The days they spent together, bonded by pain and helplessness were some of her happiest memories.

One night after a particular painful session she cried in his arms. He kissed her cheek and drove her to a secluded beach. They sat in the sand looking up at the stars while sharing a bottle of Direwolf Whisky. He looked at her with his beautiful green eyes and asked her how she got hurt. Sansa confessed that her boyfriend had pushed her down two flights of stairs after she broke up with him. She also told him that her mother had been pressuring her to get back together with him for the sake of the family.

He listened to her thoughtfully and rubbed her back with his good hand while tears fell down her face. She leaned into him, he felt like home. When she finished he kissed her softly and said that if she ever got back together with her ex she would never be safe. Sansa blushed when he kissed her again and he smiled at her, it was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. He shared his own confession then about his complicated love life and even though it made her shudder internally she listened intently rubbing his back.

 

 

“Oh sweetheart, you look like you’re a million miles away.” Sansa stared up in surprise at a pretty blonde woman wearing designer clothes and killer shoes. “I’m sorry let me introduce myself, I’m Tommy Lannister. Kevan is my husband.” She pointed to a well-dressed older gentleman with graying hair.

Sansa smiled politely. “My name is Sansa Stark. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hello, little dove.” Cersei approached her with a sickening smile plastered across her perfect face.

“Hello.” She gave a soft smile back.

“There is something different about you. What is it?” Cersei began circling her like a vulture. She snapped her fingers in triumph. “Oh, I see. You’ve gained some weight and now your clothes are too tight.”

Joffrey came up behind her and she winced as he pinched her side painfully. “No more lemon cakes for you piggy.” He laughed and Sansa looked down in embarrassment.

“Shut up Joffrey. Go slither back to whatever hell you crawled out of, demon spawn.” Tommy stared Joffrey down, a dangerous smile on her face.

“You can’t talk to me like that.” Joffrey glared and spat back.

Tommy smiled. “Of course I can _nephew._ I have yet to be provided with evidence that you aren’t demon spawn.”

“Mother, tell her she can’t speak to me like that.” Joffrey whined at his mother and Sansa tried hard to stifle a giggle.

“Listen you gold digging whore. You will stay away from my son or I will make your death look like an accident.”

Tommy laughed. “Oh my sweet _delusional_ niece. Have you forgotten that I run a multi billion-dollar business? On paper it’s Kevan who looks like the gold digger.” Sansa snickered as Cersei’s face contorted in rage.

Cersei and Joffrey stormed off but not before glaring at Sansa. “I can’t believe you said that to them.” Sansa whispered.

“And I can’t believe your dating that asshole.” Tommy looked at her seriously. “Please tell me you’re not in love with him.”

 

 

Sansa shook her head no. She knew what love was like and this wasn’t it. Tommy let out a sigh in relief and linked arms with her to gave her a private tour of Casterly Rock. She tried to pay attention but her thoughts kept drifting toward Jaime. It was impossible to focus once they entered the Greenhouse and he was standing inside without a shirt on. Her eyes drifted up his naked torso and her memory transported her back to that fateful night where they made drunken vows and she gave her virginity to him in the sand. When the sun came up he was gone and her heart was broken.

She hadn’t realized they were staring at one another until Tommy coughed. They both looked at her in surprise. They had completely forgotten she was even there. Her new friend let out a low whistle and bid them both a farewell before exiting quickly. Once they were alone Sansa had no idea what to say. She walked toward the exotic flowers and sat down with her hands tightly clasped. Jaime sat down next to her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. He always felt like home to her.

They sat in silence for the longest time until he wove a beautiful blossom into her hair. She smiled at him before her eyes began welling up. He held her while she cried, all the anguish of the past year bubbling to the surface. When Jaime abandoned her she ended up reuniting with Joffrey. Her mother of course was ecstatic. He really wasn’t such a bad boyfriend and as long as she avoided making him angry she hoped she would be all right.

 

 

“I’m so sorry Sansa.” Jaime buried her head in her hair. “Please, please forgive me.”

“Why did you leave me?” If he wanted forgiveness he would answer her questions.

“I was scared. I felt like I had just cheated on the only woman I ever loved.” He looked at her like a broken man.

 

 

Sansa nodded and left, her mind needed time to process everything. She didn’t even know Jaime’s real name until today. All the late nights she spent awake wondering about who really was and where he really lived could have been solved with one quick glance at her boyfriends cell. She walked up to the main house to take a nap; her head was pounding like a Dothraki Screamer was inside.

Tommy woke her for dinner and helped hand picked an amazing outfit for her to wear.. It turned out the newest Lannister was the CEO of Targaryen Designs and they were on the lookout for a new face for their Winter Campaign. She signed Sansa up on the spot when Sansa jokingly told her what her family motto was. Sansa was pleased that she had made a friend and lucrative business contact in a den of lions

Dinner was a somber affair. Jaime stared at his plate while Cersei and Joffrey glared at grinning Tommy. Kevan was too busy servicing his wife under the table to eat much of anything, hence his wife’s happy disposition. Tywin seemed lost in his own thoughts while Sansa watched them all. The spell was broken when Joffrey stood up abruptly and clinked his champagne glass.

 

 

“I have an announcement I’d like to make.” Everyone looked at him in confusion. Sansa was filled with dread. “Sansa has agreed to be my wife and we’d like to be married as soon as possible.” He frowned as the table erupted in protests.

Cersei spoke up first, “That stupid girl is not getting my mothers ring.” She glared daggers in Sansa’s direction.

“Shut up mother. I can have the ring if I want it.” Joffrey snapped.

Tywin sat back in his chair. “You won’t get that ring without my permission young man.” Cersei was so happy she was almost beaming.

“You aren’t really going to marry him are you?” Tommy was as white as a ghost.

Kevan looked at her in surprise. “Isn’t this all rather sudden?”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. What catalog did you find _that_ in?” Cersei snapped at him petulantly.

“Say it to my face bitch.” Tommy growled.

Sansa couldn’t look at anyone but Jaime. His eyes were flashing with pain and regret. “I can’t marry you Joffrey.” Her voice rang out strong and clear, her conviction strong.

“What did you say?” Joffrey seethed and every conversation in the room came to a stand still.

She looked up at him, blue eyes boring into green. “I said, I won’t marry you.”

 

 

Time seemed to slow down as Joffrey backhanded her. The force of his anger flipped her and her chair backward. Cersei laughed until Tommy launched onto her and began pummeling her with fists of rage. Jaime lifted Joffrey up in the air before slamming him into the table causing it to buckle. Plates and dishes went flying and Kevan wiped some splattered gravy off his face. Tywin finally got control of the room by ordering everyone out.

Kevan and Tywin shrugged at each other and Sansa had a feeling this wasn’t the first Lannister dinner to end in violence. Tommy winked at Sansa as she passed her by; she was holding a fistful of what looked to be Cersei’s hair extensions. Joffrey had been so scared that he pissed himself and Jaime looked at him in disgust before leading Sansa out of the room completely ignoring a sobbing Cersei.

 

 

“I couldn’t marry him Jaime. I just couldn’t do it.” Sansa leaned into him and he held her tightly. “He’s not the one I want.”

“Have you forgiven me?” Jaime’s expression was a mixture of surprise and hope.

“I forgive you Jaime but, I don’t know if I can ever trust you again. You left me on that beach broken and I'm sytill putting the pieces back together,” She needed him to understand the damage he caused.

“I love you Sansa. I swear by all the Gods I love you.” He kissed her softly. “I will spend the rest of my life earning back your trust.”

 

 

Sansa leaned into the safety of his arms; he felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a short story based on the film '8 Women'
> 
> http://youtu.be/Fv8_fsEq_j0
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a Christmas Cameo! Fun Stuff :D
> 
> Hint: What is dead may never die
> 
> Hint 2: ornamental grounds laid out for public enjoyment and recreation


	8. 8 Women

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

**Sansa/Margaery**

**“I’m going in, Mom”**

**~Suzon~**

 

 

 

 

Sansa looked forward to celebrating Christmas at Winterfell every year. She loved the way her mother would transform the estate into a magical winter wonderland. Mistletoe was hung in every doorway, Nutcracker’s patrolled the hallways and the scent of freshly baked gingerbread filled the air. It wasn’t Christmas without a party and Sansa was grateful her mother was helping her throw a baby shower for her best friend Teyla, lead singer of the famous rock band Firedew.

Teyla was nine months pregnant and complained she was ready to explode at any minute. Sansa felt sorry for her and the huge baby she was no doubt carrying. Her friend had fallen in love with the grumpy base guitarist Sandor ‘The Hound’ Clegane. The man was almost seven feet tall and people were placing bets on how much the baby would weigh. Sansa had her money on the baby being ten-pounds, Teyla had placed her money on nine pounds. They would find out soon enough.

Shireen and Meera Reed arrived together, naturally. Meera had a new car and Shireen was too young to drive. Both girls were dating her brothers and although Meera and Bran had been together for years, Shireen and Rickon’s high school romance was fairly new. Ygritte pulled up next in a big red truck, flashing a new tattoo of her cousin’s face on her bicep. Sansa really hoped she and Jon would never break up or her friend would be forced to undergo an expensive tattoo removal.

Myrcella arrived sporting a noticeable love bite on her collarbone and Sansa could only guess it was from her fiancé Trystane. Dany came in next and even though Sansa didn’t know her personally she was Teyla’s band manager and her friend spoke highly of her. She was looking forward to getting to know the exotic girl with lavender eyes. Margaery came last of course; the girl loved to make an entrance and today was no exception. She kissed Sansa on the cheek when she walked in and winked at the mistletoe above their heads. Sansa glared at her and wiped off her cheek.

 

 

“What’s up bitches? Let’s get this party started.” Arya came waltzing out of the kitchen holding up a bag of chips and a jar of dip.

“Arya.” Sansa hissed, “We are not having chips and dip. The chef prepared Toasted Brioche Rounds with Crème Fraiche Caviar.”

He sister frowned. “I didn’t understand a word of that.”

“I could go for some chips.” Teyla smiled brightly. “I’ve been craving them all day, that and some glazed donuts with a side of pepperoni.” They all scrunched their noses at the thought of that combination. “What?”

“What else has the chef prepared?” Meera asked slyly.

Sansa smiled at her. “Yes, Meera he prepared your favorite Mushroom-Polenta Diamonds.” Her friend gave her a wide smile.

Arya scoffed. “I swear you guys are just making these words up. Next you’ll be telling me that we’re having Lobster Salad on Endive Spears.”

“That’s a real dish.” Shireen said quietly. “It can be very good when done properly.” Arya began making gagging noises until Sansa smacked her in the back of the head with a throw pillow.

Sansa excused herself to check on the staff and ran into Margaery on the way back. “Are you just going to ignore me forever, Sansa?”

She looked at her friend angrily. “If I can. You were my best friend Margaery. We did everything together and I thought we would still be best friends when we were old gray. Then we went to that party Jeyne threw and we got really drunk. You blurted out that you were in love with me and I confessed the same thing. The rest of the semester I felt like I was in a dream. There was nothing we couldn’t do as long as we had each other, we were going to take on the world remember?”

Margaery reached out and held her hand. “We still can Sansa. It’s not too late. I’m so sorry. What happened was just an accident.”

Sansa grabbed her hand back. “An accident? I caught you having sex on _my_ bed with _my_ brother Robb. You don’t just _accidentally_ fuck someone’s brother.” She was tired of this conversation and other guests needed her attention. “It’s too late anyway Margaery, I’ve moved on.” She turned around to leave.

Margaery grabbed her wrist and whispered in her ear. “I’m going to win you back Sansa Stark, you’ll see.”

 

 

Sansa rejoined the party before any missed her and was pleased to see that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Dany had put some techno music on and everyone was dancing and eating except Teyla who was complaining about the toad jumping on her bladder. Margaery saw Sansa and smiled before grinding and moaning suggestively against a life-sized gingerbread man. Meera covered Shireen’s eyes while Ygritte tipped her head to the side frowning. Myrcella finally turned off the music and they all walked awkwardly back to the sitting area.

They decided that dancing would be off limits from now on and that it was time for the gifts. Teyla received a baby buggy, bottles, baby clothes, a dragon mobile for the crib, and a luxury spa gift certificate. She became misty eyed when Sansa presented her with an embroidered handmade baby blanket and then she laughed when Arya presented her with a pair of black-leathered ass-less chaps.

 

 

“Arya! That’s hardly an appropriate gift.” Sansa admonished her sister.

Arya grinned. “Teyla likes riding horses. Once the baby comes I thought she’d enjoy riding Sandor more.”

“I think riding Sandor was how she knocked up in the first place.” Ygritte chimed in. They all laughed until Teyla complained about having to pee and they all helped her stand up.

Meera waited until Teyla had left the room before asking the question the question that was on everyone’s mind. “When’s the Gold Hand coming?”

“Who’s the Gold hand?” Dany asked casually.

Ygritte laughed. “Just a stripper we all know and love.”

“He texted me that he was running late. Can you believe he charged me double this time?” Arya scoffed.

“When did his rates go up?” Myrcella asked curiously.

“Last month, when Ygritte licked his ass during a performance.” Arya threw a cookie at the spunky red head.

Ygritte looked at them all with a strait face. “I have no regrets.” They all descended into a fit of giggles.

“My dad would kill me if he knew what you guys were talking about.” Shireen squeaked out.

Margaery patted her hand. “That’s why you don’t tell him.”

“You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable Shireen.” Sansa said kindly.

“What’s the big deal? Jaime Lannister is very talented.” Margaery leaned close to Shireen and lowered her voice. “He knows how to thrust in all the right places.” She looked at Sansa quickly before quickly adding, “If you like that sort of thing.”

Arya rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about it kid. I thought you might enjoy spending some time in the library with Myrcella while we enjoyed the show down here.”

Shireen looked relieved. “Thank you.”

 

 

Teyla came into the room holding a wad of toilet paper. She set the bundle down on the table before sprawling back down on the couch. They looked at the strange item and Sansa gasped. It was two pregnancy tests, and they both read positive. Sansa’s mind began whirling with the possibilities. They were all staring each other suspiciously trying to discern who was knocked up.

 

 

Dany spoke up first. “It’s not me. I can’t have children.” Sansa didn’t know what compelled her new friend to share something so personal but she squeezed her hand in comfort. Dany squeezed back.

“Gods, Shireen tell me it isn’t you.” Teyla said with a concerned face.

Shireen blushed. “No! I mean…we haven’t…I’m not ready yet.” She was completely flustered and stared at the floor.

“What are you waiting for? I lost my virginity at thirteen.” Margaery said proudly.

“The last thing she needs to do is take advice from your skank-ass face.” Arya said while shaking her head. Margaery glared back.

Dany smiled at Shireen. “You should wait until you’re ready and never let anyone pressure you.”

“Thanks.” Shireen said while smiling.

“That’s quite the bite mark you have on you’re neck Myrcella. Did a certain Martell knock you up?” Margaery said with a wink.

“No. We’re too young to be parents. I take my birth control very seriously.” Myrcella covered up her neck though and looked at Meera. “Maybe Meera got a little too freaky with Bran.”

“Bran can have children but I will need the help of in vitro to get me pregnant. I have some complicated female issues.” Sansa’s heart broke for her but Meera seemed completely unfazed by her confession and cast a glance at Margaery.

“Don’t look at me, I refuse to have children. I mean have you seen my body?” She shimmied her breasts provocatively while staring at Sansa who was unimpressed.

Ygritte laughed when they all looked at her. "I'm on the rag ladies. Move along."

“That only leaves the Stark girls.” Teyla announced.

 

 

Sansa and Arya stared at each other as if they were appraising one another for market. She wondered how long Arya had known and why she hadn’t said anything. They hadn’t always been close but she had hopped her sister was comfortable enough to share this piece of information with her. Of course she was hardly a paradigm of honesty herself.

 

 

Arya and Sansa stood up simultaneously and embraced each other tightly. “Congratulations sis.”

Meera looked up at them both. “Wait, so who’s pregnant?”

“We both are.” Sansa answered softly. “I only took one test, Arya must have taken the second.”

“You’re seeing someone?” Margaery asked in disbelief.

“Yes. I’ve been seeing Tywin Lannister for some time now.” Sansa said proudly.

“Ewww, Grandpa is having sex?” Myrcella stated with a disgusted face. “That means you are carrying my uncle or aunt right now!” Dany patted the girl on the shoulder.

“Does Gendry know yet?” Shireen asked curiously.

“Yeah, I texted the bull when I was in the bathroom.” Arya laughed and shook her head.

“You texted him?” Sansa asked in disbelief. "You know dad is going to kill you when he finds out right?"

Arya rolled her eyes. "I think he'd kill Tywin first."

"Why would I kill Tywin?" Everyone in the room turned to look at Ned Stark who was walking through the door carrying shopping bags.

Jaime Lannister suddenly burst through the side door dressed like a fireman. “Is there a fire in here?” He hit the play button on his stereo and ripped off his Velcro pants. “Because, I’ve brought my hose.” He began shaking his ass in Sansa's surprised face. "Come on my filthy wolf, admit it, you fuck my father while thinking about my tight ass."

 

Ned Stark looked at his daughter and narrowed his eyes while Arya laughed and Margaery stormed out.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short story will be based on the film 'Batman Returns'
> 
> http://youtu.be/TlbtLfWvFbo
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins an AMAZING cameo :D
> 
> Hint: "We look up at the same stars and see different things."


	9. Batman Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

[ ](http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/640x/1d/30/1d/1d301d08b46cddaf34ecdf7f2e9fd7a0.jpg)

**Sansa/Jon**

 

 

**“Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.”**

**“But a kiss can be deadlier if you mean it.”**

**~Batman/Catwoman~**

 

 

 

She crouched in the shadows of The Old Town Museum. The guards were easy to evade and the newly updated security system was less than impressive. Shorty Baratheon had already sent her the floor schematics and security codes. She was rather disappointed by the museums lack of imagination. It was as if they _wanted_ the Tyrell Christmas Diamond to be taken. Well, their stupidity would be their downfall. After tonight’s score she could finally buy her freedom. No more running, no more hiding and no more looking over her shoulder. The hunted would become the hunter.

 

_I am Catwoman and I am on the prowl._

 

The hall was deserted when she stepped out quietly. She crept around the corner and made her way toward the diamond. If Shorty’s sources were to be believed, she would find the gem tucked safely away in The Vale. That meant she would have to pass by security guards, invisible sensors and remain hidden from cameras. If she were caught she knew with absolute certainty that she would be killed before she ever made it to booking. The Tyrells would make _sure_ of that. She was nothing more than a loose end to them, an aphid set to destroy a perfect rose. No matter, the risk was worth it to get her claws on that Christmas Diamond.

 

_I am Catwoman and I will not leave empty handed._

She checked that her night vision goggles were firmly in place and her leather whip was tucked safely at her side. A lady is _always_ prepared.She perched gracefully on top of an antique Norvos Vase and waited for the guards below to pass. They weren’t the typical guards; she knew this because she had studied all the employee files personally. Shorty had insisted on it before she would allow her to contact their secretive fence Rosetta. Catwoman frowned at the guards, something was wrong and she had a feeling she would end up using all nine lives before the night was up.

 

_I am Catwoman and I am not afraid._

When they left she jumped down safely rolling into a summersault. She stopped before the laser filled corridor. There was no way around and she rolled her neck before doing a few quick stretches. The buzzing of the beams caused her heart to quicken and she smiled to herself before performing a perfect backbend over the first one. She transitioned into a handstand and twisted her body 180˚. Catwoman tucked her knees to her chest before springing forward and landing on her feet. Sansa carefully stepped over the next beam before dropping her whole body to the floor.

 

_I am Catwoman and I was made for this._

 

She slid her chest forward and arched her back to an upward-facing dog position. Her face was dangerously close to another beam and a trickle of sweat ran down her back. She carefully rose back up into a standing position pressing her back against the cool steel of the wall. She ducked under the next beam while simultaneously stepping over another. She turned around and slowly slid into splits before dropping her back to the floor. Her long legs meant that she could position herself to resemble an extended star shape, her feet braced firmly against the walls. She said a short prayer and bent her knees before pushing off. Her body slid the rest of the way under the beams undetected.

_I am Catwoman and I can do anything._

 

She looked around the Dragon Gallery and quickly followed the signs pointing toward The Vale. She paused when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Silent eyes were following her every move, lingering over her body, she could feel it. She knew the eyes could only belong to _her_ tall dark and handsome Bat. Her heart began to beat faster, her pulse quickened and it had nothing to do with the felony she was about to commit.

 

_I am Catwoman and he is Batman._

 

The last time they had run into each other she left him with a split lip and he left her with a dislocated shoulder. Those were only a few of the sex injuries they had acquired over the years. If her Bat was here, then something bigger was going on. The Tyrells must have known she was coming. Shorty would not be pleased to learn she had been fooled with bad intel. She frowned at her Bat and he returned her unhappy gaze. His eyes were a mixture of disappointment and worry. If she resisted he would fight her, he was a man bound by duty and honor she had given up on those ideals long ago.  

 

_I am Catwoman and I will not be deterred._

This heist had been a year in the making. The Tyrells had murdered a prince and framed her for it. Her life had been destroyed and it was only through the grace of Shorty and her husband that she was even alive. The greed and schemes of others had almost claimed her life and she vowed the Tyrells would pay for it with blood. This diamond would not only be used to clear her name but it would be the catalyst to destroying all the enemies of House Stark. She was so close to her goal she could taste it. To leave now peacefully would mean a defeat.

 

_I am Catwoman and I will not fail again._

 

Batman never had to struggle for a living, he was born with a Targaryen silver spoon in his mouth. Not every orphan was so lucky to have a sweet butler like Arthur Dayne raise them. After witnessing her own father’s execution she was sent to live with her unstable aunt who enjoyed locking her up in a cold room and forgetting to feed her. The diamond was simply too important to leave behind and she was preparing to inform him where he could shove his batarang when he stepped forward and kissed her deeply. She resisted the kiss briefly before surrounding herself to him and his damnable lips.

 

_I am Catwoman and hear me purr._

 

She could feel his hardened cock pressed firmly against her leg; the Batsuit couldn’t hide everything. She felt a heat build within her as his hands drifted over her hips and squeezed her ass. He was always aroused whenever he caught her on the job. Sansa had been a thief for years and he had never once interrupted her when she was contorting her body around laser beams in a skintight black leather suit. He told her it was because he didn’t want to be rude. She thought it was because he enjoyed the show. Her hand was drifting toward his penis seductively when she was grabbed from behind and thrown into a wall.

 

_I am Catwoman and I am in danger._

 

The wind had been knocked out of her leaving her gasping for air. She stood up quickly and came face to face with one of the most wanted men in Westeros, The Tickler. He leered at her and licked his lips. His beady eyes were roaming over body hungrily when she sprang into action, knocking him out with a well-placed roundhouse kick. Her Bat was throwing punches at The Sweetling and she fought the urge to run away. If these two bastards were here, than the rest of The Mountain’s Men would be here as well. A back door burst open when an armed Polliver ran into the room. He aimed his pistol at her Bat so she cracked her whip and sent his gun sliding across the floor.

 

_I am Catwoman and no one shoots my Bat._

Polliver pulled a secondary gun hidden behind his back but he was too late. Sansa tackled him with such force that they crashed into a display case. She skidded across the broken glass and chuckled as he screamed. A jagged piece of metal had lodged through his collarbone pinning him at a dangerously awkward angle. Her bat had finally subdued The Sweetling and rushed toward her side. They stood back to back when Chiswyck, Sarsfield and Shitmouth rushed in. She pulled her whip out and gave a warning crack. The men looked slightly nervous before charging at them from all directions.

 

_I am Catwoman hear me roar._

 

Sarsfield and Shitmouth tackled her Bat while Chiswyck grabbed her from behind. She head butted him hard enough to beak his nose before turning around and kicking him square in the balls. He cursed as he doubled over in a satisfying mixture of pain and blood. She managed to whip Sarsfield across the face when she came face to face with The Mountain. He grabbed the whip from her hands and tossed it away laughing. She turned to run but he wrapped his hand around her throat and lifted her into the air. She began kicking her legs and gasping for air when he squeezed.

 

_I am Catwoman and I refuse to die._

The Mountain dropped her on the floor while she coughed and sputtered. He smiled and ripped the zipper down the front of her suit fully exposing her chest and abdomen. She called out to her Bat as he slapped her. The pain exploded in her face and she saw stars. He unzipped his pants and exposed his penis while she spit out some blood and flexed her hands. Hidden razor claws were hidden in her gloves and in one swift motion she plunged them deep into his face. He jerked backward as she shredded his face. _This ought to make The Hound happy_. The Mountain roared and she ducked one of his deadly swings. Blood was pouring down his face when she slashed his exposed penis off.

 

_I am Catwoman remember that._

 

Her Bat called out for her and she grabbed her whip before rushing to his side. His face was bloody but he didn’t seem too badly hurt. She could not say the same for the other men in the room. Shitmouth’s leg was bleeding heavily due to an ugly compound fracture and The Mountain was crying like a bitch. He kicked out a window and released his grappling hook. She placed her arms around his neck and curled into his body. He wrapped one arm snugly around her waist as they flew into the night. They landed safely on the roof of an adjuring building and he placed the call to the police and an ambulance. She dropped the Mountains penis in the snow, she couldn’t risk the chance someone would reattach it.

 

_I am Catwoman and I am safe._

Her hands were shaking with adrenalin as she struggled to zip her Catsuit back up. She cursed the broken zipper and her. Bat ripped off his cape, giving it to her to shield her nakedness. He held her for a few minutes while rocking her until she calmed down. They made their way back to her apartment in silence. The Tyrells had hired The Mountain and his men to get rid of her and she knew her Bat couldn’t let that go unpunished. His honor dictated that even if he didn’t agree with her lifestyle choices she was his woman and he would always defend her.

 

I am Catwoman and I will have justice.

 

Sansa began undressing and kissing him once they were inside. She removed his mask and stared into the dark eyes of the conflicted man she knew so well. Jon was her cousin by marriage and the only family she had left that was living. Sansa knew him inside and out. She knew his every muscle, every scar and the way he grunted when they fucked. She kissed the corner of his mouth and he smiled that special smile he reserved only for her. Sansa looked at him longingly and he could see the desire in her eyes because he reflected it tenfold.

 

_I am Sansa Stark and he is Jon Snow._

 

Jon knew her heart, mind and body. He knew every inch of her intimately; he knew what made her laugh and what made her cry. It was Jon that would hold her through the night when the night terrors came and she was grateful for it. But it wasn’t just Sansa who suffered from the past, Jon had seen his own horrors as well. He never spoke of them but she could see the sadness echoing in his eyes. They had no secrets left between them and perhaps that’s why they spent so much time apart. For when they were together they happy and they didn’t deserve it. How could they be happy when everyone they ever loved was dead?

 

_I am Sansa and I am a lost._

He removed his cape from around her shoulders and kissed her swollen face. He peeled off the rest of her Catsuit until she stood naked before him. Jon pressed her against the wall and she wrapped her slender legs around him. He kissed her neck and stimulated her with his fingers. She moaned into his ear and bit his earlobe. Jon released his own growl in response and hoisted her up higher. He licked her nipple as his fingers delicately traced her folds. She ran her fingers through his soft brown hair scraping them softly along his scalp. He grunted as he slipped a finger inside her vagina and crooked it. Sansa gasped as her body visibly shuddered with pleasure.

 

_My name is Sansa Stark and I am in love._

 

When Sansa could take it no longer she demanded that he put his penis inside her. Jon gratefully obliged her. With every thrust she called out his name and every time she called out his name he’d thrust deeper. Jon filled every inch of her and only after she crashed over the edge did he allow his own release. She loved the way his lips cooled and his muscles rippled as he ejaculated inside her. Their souls were never more whole than when he was inside of her. After she slid back down the wall they stumbled together toward her room and collapsed on the bed. It was tradition that no matter the danger or injuries sustained he would always take her home for a good fuck if he caught her committing a crime.

 

_My name is Sansa Stark and I have never been arrested._

 

As she rested her head on his bare chest she traced his various bruises with her fingers. He was running his fingers over her own bruised physique when she reached under the mattress for his Christmas present, She handed it to him with a smile and she was delighted to see his eyes light up in wonderment. He opened the charcoaled sketch carefully and looked at it. It was one she had drawn of him while he was sleeping. He kissed her softly and whistled for her cat, Lady II. Her white Persian leapt onto the bed rubbed her feline head against Jon’s chin. Sansa’s stroked her cat’s soft fur before stilling when she reached her collar. Her cat’s collar had a new addition, a seventeen-carrot emerald-cut pink diamond ring. Sansa estimated quickly that the ring was around two million dollars.

 

_My name is Sansa Stark and I have a wealthy lover._

Jon was looking at her with anxious eyes as she unhooked the ring to slip on her finger. It was a hefty ring and she was surprised Lady could even lift her head much less jump on the bed. But, then again she had an expensive cat with expensive tastes. Sansa slipped on the ring, which fit perfectly and kissed Jon happily. She knew he wasn’t asking her to marry him tomorrow; he would wait until she was ready and he felt it was safe enough. What he needed the most from her was a promise that she _would_ marry him. Of course her answer was yes. She couldn’t wait to tell Shorty. They cemented their love with whispers and sighs as they made love again, and again, and again.

 

_My name is Sansa Stark and I am getting married._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on the film 'Christmas in Connecticut' 
> 
> http://youtu.be/ePa6nx7T76w
> 
> The first person to crrectly guess the pairing wins a lovely cameo :D
> 
> Hint: Secrets and lies
> 
> Hint: Charming, Phillip, Eric, Ali, Edward, Flynn, Hans, William, Harry.... Artist formally known as...


	10. Christmas In Connecticut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow.
> 
>  
> 
> I AM SO SORRY I AM LATE!!!
> 
> My dog was so sick this week she had to stay overnight at the clinic and they weren't sure she would make it! But, my baby is a survivor and she's home now safe and sound :)
> 
> I will post double chapters.today!

# 

**Sansa/Doran**

 

“ **Nobody needs a mink coat but the mink.”**

**~Felix Bassenak~**

 

 

 

 

Sansa sat in front of mirror wearing her new green dress and sighed. Kitty was behind her straitening her long auburn locks while humming a festive Christmas tune. Her friend new exactly how important it was to fool everyone tonight. If she were to avoid being deported she would need to convince everyone she was both married and in love. That wouldn’t be hard to do since they couldn’t prove she _wasn’t_ married. The part that would cause her the most problems was pretending to be in love with a man who had no feelings for her whatsoever.

 

 

“Sansa, for crying out loud, relax.” Kitty cooed at her.

“I can’t help it! What if Oberyn catches on? I’m a terrible liar Kitty, you know that.” Sansa bit her lower lip worryingly.

“Listen, I went over the plan with Petyr and Ellaria. They are both adamant Oberyn be kept out of this scheme of yours. Something about plausible deniability if things go wrong.”

“I’m doomed.” Sansa lamented. “This is all my fault, I never should have asked him for his help.”

“Sansa. He would move heaven and earth if you asked.” Kitty said reassuringly. “You would do the same.”

“I would do anything for him. She said softly.

Kitty laughed. Honestly, you sound like a woman in love.” Sansa blushed and bit her lower lip. “Holy jingle bells, you are in love!” Kitty practically shouted it as Sansa shushed her friend.

They head a knock at the door and Ellaria entered, a knowing smile plastered over her face. “Sansa, you look beautiful as always.” Sansa gave her a warm smile in return.

“Ellaria, she’s in love with Doran!” Kitty blurted out before Sansa elbowed her friend sharply.

“Don’t mind Kitty. She’s been drinking too much of the eggnog.” Kitty scoffed but Sansa ignored her.

“Is that true?” Ellaria asked excitedly.

Sansa blushed. “It doesn’t matter, Doran only agreed to marry me for buisness reasons.”

“Who told you that?” Ellaria asked surprised.

“Doran.” Sansa excused herself and left two the women in a stunned silence.

 

 

She made her way toward the solitude of the Water Garden. A light dusting of snow had covered everything and the festive lights they had hung, turned it into a Winter Wonderland. She was deep in thought when Oberyn came up next to her. He tucked a red flower behind her ear and she gave him a small smile. She felt him put his arms around her and she leaned into his strong slender frame. He was the closest thing she had to a brother in Dorne and he had an uncanny ability to always know when she was upset.

 

 

“Listen, I don’t know what is going on in this house but there are too many secrets for me to feel comfortable.” He looked at her and Sansa tried to cast her eyes away innocently.

“I…have no idea…what you are… referring to.” She tried to sound confident but even Sansa knew that was a terrible lie. _Stupid, stupid Sansa._

“Oh?” Oberyn looked at her thoughtfully. “My brother takes you to dinner one day and when you get back you announce to the world that you are married?” Sansa avoided his gaze. “You married next to a tree and the only witness is my dear Ellaria who I happen to know was not there.”

Sansa began panicking. “Please excuse me…there is something…else…that needs my attention.” _Smooth, Sansa, real smooth._

“Yes, I’m sure you, Ellaria and Doran will all wish to corroborate your stories better.” He kissed her on the cheek. “Mark my words woman, I will find out what’s going on.”

 

 

Soon the Martell Christmas party would be in full swing and as the newest Martell she would be expected. _Gods! This was never going to work_. Sansa walked back toward the house nervously clasping her hands. If she couldn’t convince Oberyn how would anyone else be convinced? _I’ll be deported and Doran will be arrested, fantastic._

Sansa looked up at the night sky and saw a shooting star; she made her Christmas wish and walked back toward the house. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she cried out when she felt a hand grab hers. She jerked it back and slipped in the snow, landing on her backside. It took a minute for her eyes to focus but when they did they landed on the concerned face of Doran Martell.

 

 

“Hello husband. Something I can help you with?” She leaned up on her elbows and did her best to look suave. _Stop talking, just stop talking._

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.” He seemed amused at her current predicament. “Did you know your smallclothes are showing?

Sansa blushed. “Why, yes, yes I did.” It was a lie but she refused to fix it and let him see her embarrassment, it would be like admitting defeat.

He smiled at her. “Any particular reason you decided to lay in the snow and flash me your smallclothes?”

“You make me swoon… and… I am trying to…seduce you?” She was trying to sound like a seductress as snow began finding its way in places it had no business being “Is it working?” She tried to add casually while her teeth chattered.

Doran looked at her and shook his head. “More than you know. Shall we go inside? You look cold.”

“Yes, please.” She smiled and took the hand he offered. She stood up and dusted off the snow and fixed her skirt.

“Before we go in there is something I would like to say.” She looked at him surprised but said nothing. “I consider it an honor to call you my wife.”

“The honor is mine.” Sansa was touched; she didn’t think he had feelings one way or another. _Maybe that’s a lie I kept telling myself to make it easier._

 

 

She walked next to him her head held high as he rode his motorized wheelchair. They had barely made through the door when Kitty stopped them and pointed up at the mistletoe.

 

 

“It’s tradition.” She said pointedly. “Also it’s for posterity.” She held up a camera and winked.

Doran smiled. “Anything for you Mrs. Baelish.” He patted his lap. “Come and sit my wife.”

“Of course, my...husband.” Sansa swallowed thickly and complied.

 

 

She sat down and blushed as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He tilted her head down slowly before kissing her. She had assumed the kiss would be brief until she felt something like an electric shock course through her body. His lips were warm and inviting, and she couldn’t think of a reason to tear herself away. Doran’s stubble tickled her chin and when he brushed his tongue across her lips and she opened her mouth willingly.

Doran carefully slid his tongue past her teeth caressing it against her own. She willed him to go deeper and flicked her own tongue to make her wishes known. He complied and pulled her body tighter against his as he pushed his tongue further into her mouth. If he had his own demands and she would happily acquiesce to them all. She had just begun exploring his arms with her hands when they were rudely interrupted.

 

 

“Ahem.” They both looked at Kitty sharply. “I only needed one picture for the Christmas album. Anymore kissing like _that_ and I’ll be making an entirely different album. She said with a smirk before sauntering off.

“I must say that was quite the kiss.” Ellaria remarked walking up to them. “Don’t you think so, lover?” She spoke to Oberyn whom Sansa hadn’t even seen standing there.

“One would think they had never kissed before.” Oberyn said staring intently. Sansa avoided his gaze by looking at her hands.

Ellaria slapped Oberyn’s shoulder. “They are newlyweds. Every kiss will seem like the first time.”

“Yes, newlyweds of course.” Oberyn smile brightened. “Tell me Ellaria, what Weirwood tree did they marry in front of?”

Ellaria narrowed her eyes. “What kind of question is that? They married in front of the one with the weeping eyes.”

“How, specific.” He looked as if he were about to ask another question when Ellaria tugged his hand.

“Look, lover. Olyvar is here, we had so much fun at the last party, don’t you remember?” She was tugging him away from Sansa and Doran with a mischievous smile on her face.

 

 

Sansa realized that she should stand. She had probably hurt him sitting on his lap for so long. Plus, she could feel Doran’s belt buckle digging into her. He held her tighter, a concentrated look on his face. She blushed when she realized that it wasn’t his belt buckle that was pressing into her at all. Doran was more excited than she thought from that kiss.

He looked like he wanted to kiss her again and Sansa closed her eyes and leaned in. She opened them briefly when instead of her mouth he was kissing her neck. She let out a whimper when they heard the sound of breaking glass.

 

 

“Gods! Dad what are you doing? She’s younger than me!” They looked up into the angry face of Arienne Martell.

“A husband is supposed to kiss his wife.” Doran remarked coolly before focusing once again on her neck.

“Gross! It’s official you’ve killed Christmas.” Arienne stomped her foot before glaring at Sansa and dumping the bowl of chocolate fondue all over her. Sansa leapt up trying to save Doran’s clothes from the chocolate bath.

“Arienne!” Doran hissed at his daughter but she had already stormed off. “Sansa, I apologize for the rudeness of my daughter.”

“It’s okay.” She whispered as she wiped a smear of chocolate from her forhead. _Great, his daughter hates me._

Doran grasped her hand. “No, it’s not. She has no right to treat _my_ wife that way.” He nodded toward _their_ room. “Your dress is ruined, and you have chocolate in your hair. Please go and run yourself a hot bath. I will find you something else to wear.”

 

 

Sansa smiled at him and kissed his cheek kindly before wandering off. She rather enjoyed his personal wing of the mansion. Everything looked simple yet elegant with subtle hints of danger. _Much like him._ She looked at her reflection and sighed, Kitty spent a long time straitening her hair; she would be pissed when she found out. She stripped out of the ruined dress and ran the hot water. Sansa smiled and added lemon scented bubbles with the water. _Did Doran place this in here for me?_

Doran was a puzzle. It was his idea to get married, he told her it was just business. He didn’t want her to be deported; he said it would take to long to train a new personal assistant. Tonight her boss of three years had kissed her and she was filled with a desire to have his lips kiss her all over. The line had become blurred somewhere and she was having trouble making sense of it all.

She stepped into the tub and leaned back. The bubbles and citrus fragrance were doing wonders for her spirits. She thought of the kiss and her hand drifted toward her folds. She began stroking herself and murmuring his name. _What would he do if he could see me now?_ The mere thought of him watching her pleasure herself excited her. She began rubbing her pearl picturing his hands in place of hers.

 

 

“Doran!” She called out his name when her fingers worked the spot they knew so well.

“Yes?” Her eyes flew open and she looked at Doran sitting in his chair massaging his penis. His eyes were dark with lust and Sansa blushed under his gaze.

“How long have you been here?” She asked curiously.

“Long enough. May I join you?” He looked at her and she stood up letting the bubbles slide off her body.

 

 

Doran stood and quickly removed his clothes. He had the same lean body of his brother but he was slightly shorter. Sansa had accidentally walked in on Oberyn and Ellaria in the midst of lovemaking and she had seen first hand he was well endowed; however Doran’s penis put his brothers to shame. _Gods, please let that fit inside me. I swear I’ll never ask for another thing again._

He walked stiffly toward the tub and Sansa was worried he might be in too much pain but she held her tongue. _A mans pride is a curious thing._ He slid easily into the tub and laid back. She lowered herself onto his body dragging her hands across his smooth. He stroked her back before the kissed; she felt her body instantly melt against him.

 

 

“Doran are you in here?” The voice of Oberyn cried out and Sansa panicked.

“Leave us alone.” Doran warned.

“You heard your brother let’s go, it would be rude to intrude.” Sansa could hear Ellaria scolding Oberyn 

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re fam—” Oberyn opened the bathroom door and stopped short, Ellaria crashing in behind him. Sansa hugged Doran tighter and prayed that she wasn’t showing anything to scandalous.

 “Doran? Have you seen Sansa? We’ve been looking for her everywhere.” Sansa wanted to drown herself as the voice of her father filled the bathroom. Ellaria tried to close the door but her mother barged right in.

Her mother gasped out. “By the Seven! Ned dear close your eyes!” _Kill me now._

“Hey, what’s going on in here and why wasn’t I invited?” Kitty walked in while sipping on a champagne flute. She took one look at Doran and Sansa before laughing and shoving her mortified parents out the door. “Come along folks, nothing to see here.” _Thank the Gods for Kitty._

“Sansa? Are you in here? I’m so sorry about earlier.” Arienne walked into the bathroom and took one look at them in the tub before screaming about her eyes and running out.  

 

_I really did kill Christmas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based off that warm and fuzzy SLASHER film 'Silent Night' 
> 
> http://youtu.be/RhLw3GmHQqA
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the Christmas pairing will win a festive cameo! 
> 
> Hint: Trial By Combat
> 
> Hint 2: The Mountain


	11. Silent Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon

 

**Sansa/Beric**

 

 

**“Christmas, the number one Holliday for people going nuts.”**

**~Sheriff Cooper~**

 

 

 

Sansa and Joey walked out of the store laughing. They were desperately trying to balance multiple shopping bags in one hand and hot chocolate in the other. The weather had taken a turn for the worse and the wind blew Sansa’s scarf over face only enlisting more giggles from the girls. Stannis spotted the floundering women and rushed to Joey’s side, taking her bags and guiding her into the warmth of the limo. Davos rushed to Sansa’s side laughing at her helpless appearance.

 

Once they were comfortably situated inside the limo, Joey patted her pregnant belly and demanded a foot massage. Stannis nodded and obliged his wife before muttering something about how it was massages that landed them in this predicament. Joey smiled wickedly dipping her finger into her hot chocolate and licking off some whip cream.

 

 

Davos shook his head and looked at Sansa. “Did you hear the news? They found the body of Gregor Clegane.”

Sansa perked up. “Did the killer really mail the head to the Matrell’s in Dorne?”

Davos nodded. “Oberyn was quoted as saying that it was the best Christmas present he ever received.”

“Sounds gruesome.” Joey piped up.

“The only description they have is that the killer appeared to be dressed as Santa." Davos mentioned with a shrug.

“A homicidal Santa? What’s next a passive aggressive Easter bunny?” Joey said with an eye roll.

“He's a menace to society and he will be caught.” Stannis muttered as he focused on his wife’s swollen feet.

“Stannis! That tickles.” Joey kicked her husband’s foot playfully. He gave her an adorable smirk before sliding his hand up his wife’s skirt. Davos coughed before Stannis flicked his eyes back and withdrew his hands.

“Here Davos, I got this for Maya.” Sansa reached into one of the bags and handed him a pretty white box.

“Thank you, I’ll gladly give it to the missis.” He remarked cheerfully.

“Speaking of gifts. Sansa, I left yours in the playroom.” Joey said with a smile and Sansa beamed back.

“Thank you.” She said while gripping Joey’s hand tightly.

 

 

The limo came to the stop in front of The Tower of The Hand, Sansa’s building. When she exited with her bags Davos offered to escort her up but she assured the old sailor she could manage. She grumbled in annoyance when she reached the elevator and saw the out of Order sign was still in place.

 

 

“Why Miss Stark, you appear to be in need of some assistance.” Sansa looked over and smiled at her quiet neighbor.

“Yes, please.” He took some of her bags and offered her his arm. He was wearing a smart leather jacket and smelled faintly of cigarettes. “Thank you, Mr. Dondarrion.”

“Mr. Dondarrion was my father. Please, call me Beric.” He smiled easily at her and Sansa smiled easily at him in return.

“Please, call me Sansa.” He squeezed her arm causing her to blush slightly.

“Is your faucet still bothering you, Sansa?” He asked.

“Yes. Hodor has been visiting his grandmother and hasn’t had a chance to fix it.” She sighed, Hodor was sweet but the constant dripping of her faucet was enough to drive anyone mad.

“I could come by and take a look at it later, if you want.” He looked nervous and it was Sansa’s turn to squeeze his arm in reassurance.

“That would be lovely. Would 8:00 be okay?” She had some things she needed to take care of beforehand.

They had finally reached her apartment. “I look forward to it.” He said before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. She blushed and placed her hand on the cheek before walking into her apartment in a daze.

 

Sansa put away her bags and changed into a different outfit before her next go and do Christmas errands. She took the subway toward the Bread Riot District and exited, quickly making her way through the industrial maze. She soon found herself in front of the old factory known as The Land of Always Winter. She hopped over the chain link fence and walked up the metal steps before wedging open a side window and swinging inside.

It was a cold dark place that people tended to avoid. Sansa wasn’t afraid, she was of the North and the cold never bothered her. Her shoes squeaked against the concrete floor, the sound echoing of the walls. She could already hear his muffled shouts ahead of her causing her to smile. Sansa knew she would cherish these moments.

 

 

“Good afternoon bastard.” She walked in skipping. Ramsay Bolton was dressed like a gingerbread man and hanging between two fence posts. He looked ridiculous and Sansa made a mental note to thank Joey later for her wonderful Christmas gift. He was struggling against his gag so Sansa removed it. “I should have killed that whore when I had the chance.” He spat in her direction but she easily side stepped it.

She traced a red nail along his throat before leaning in and whispering softly. “You're my Christmas present,Ramsay. I can't wait to open you up, and see what's inside.” He gulped as she walked away smirking.

 

 

The radio was already tuned to a local Christmas station and she began happily singing along to a familiar carol. Sansa picked up an electric sander and watched as Ramsay’s eyes went wide. She knelt at his feet and began sanding away the skin at his feet. His screams mingled to the tune of jungle bells really put her in a festive mood.

Sansa only stopped when Joey called. She put her friend on speaker so she could hear his screams as well. They made arrangements to meet for breakfast the next day. She put away the sander and pulled out a saw when her radio suddenly shut off.

She turned around and let out a surprised yelp when a man wearing a Santa mask was standing next to her radio carrying a bag that was moving. Sansa didn’t move and neither did he. They both just stared at each other until Ramsay began crying out for help. The masked Santa cocked his head and looked at Ramsay while she peered closer at his bag that was now moaning. The man pulled off his Santa mask and Sansa blinked in surprise.

 

“Beric?”

“Sansa?”

 

 

They were so surprised by their latest development that they didn’t notice Joffrey Lannister had worked his way out of the bag and was running down the hall. Beric tackled him and wrapped him up tightly in Christmas tree lights before bringing him back inside her playroom dropping him with a painful sounding crunch. Beric’s gaze fell to Ramsay then the blood on the floor and back to Sansa. He gave her a satisfied nod and she had no idea why, but his approval of her work caused her to blush.

 

 

“Is there something you’d like to tell me Sansa?” He leaned against the wall and took out a cigarette.

“Beric Dondarrion, this is Ramsay Bolton. Ramsay this is Mr. Dondarrion. Say hello please.” Beric seemed to be searching his pockets for his lighter.

“Get this _bitch_ away from me.” Ramsay sobbed out. “I’ll give you _anything,_ just kill her.”

Beric frowned at Ramsay. “That is no way to talk to a lady.” He walked over to her table of toys and picked up a blowtorch, lighting his cigarette with it. Sansa thought the flames made him look even sexier.

“I don’t fucking care.” Ramsay whispered.

“Why is he here and why is he dressed like a gingerbread man?” He seemed genuinely curious.

 

“My freshman year of college Ramsay and his friends broke into my apartment while my friend and I were away on a camping trip. The only one home was Jeyne, the sweetest girl who ever walked the earth. Her smile would brighten any room and her laugh sounded like bells. They kept her hostage for an _entire_ weekend. When we came home we saw so much blood we thought she was dead. She spent three weeks in the ICU.”

Sansa punched Ramsay in the balls as hard as she could. He cried out and Sansa took a moment to compose herself before continuing.

“The doctors told her that because of the damage she sustained she would never be able to have children. Whatever was left alive in Jeyne broke when they told her that. She is the shell of her formal self. Ramsay was never arrested because his daddy helped him skip town. As you can imagine Joey Baratheon and I took offence to that.”

 

“The world is safer without him in it.” Beric inhaled a puff of his cigarette and stepped closer to her. “That’s what I do. I make the world safer by ridding it of it’s evil.”

“You killed The Mountain?” He nodded. Sansa stepped toward him until they stood face to face. “Did you know I used to date Joffrey?” Beric flicked his eyes toward Joffrey. “In high school he would order his friends to strip me naked and beat me, just for the fun of it.”

Beric narrowed his eyes. “What were their names?”

She smiled at him. “Meryn Trant and Boros Blount.”

“What are you doing here?” She had to know of all the abandoned factories in the world he had to break into hers.

“I saw you sneaking around and I wanted to make sure you were alright.” It was such a simple statement, yet powerful.

 

 

They stared at each other for a moment before he flicked his cigarette out of his mouth. He dipped her backwards and she looked as his mouth longingly. His lips looked like they might taste of cigarettes and ash so she licked them to find out. He grinned and crashed his lips into hers. She could feel heat radiate from his body and envelope hers. They began tearing off each other’s clothes when she happened to glance over at Ramsay and Joffrey staring at them.

 

“We can’t!” She pulled away from Beric and he growled in protest.

“I have protection.” He muttered, pulling out a foiled packet from his wallet.

She blushed and smiled. “No, it’s not that. Although I am glad you're prepared. It's because they’re watching us.” She covered up her chest and flushed in embarrassment.

“Oh, say no more my sweet lady.” He winked at her and looked down at the table before picking up a fork. “Joffrey Baratheon you have been found guilty of the beatings of Sansa Stark and of trying to place a hit out on your uncle, the imp.”

 

 

Sansa gasped, she didn’t know Joffrey had tried to kill Tyrion. He was the only Lannister she liked _._ She watched in fascination as Beric walked toward her ex and plunged the fork deep within his eye socket. Joffrey screamed in pain as Beric twisted and pulled it out, flinging the eyeball across the room. He stabbed the other eye with the fork only this time when he twisted the eye out he let it dangle instead of removing it completely. This was a completely different side to the quiet neighbor she thought she had and she liked it.

Beric nodded toward Ramsay who was shutting his eyes tightly in a vain attempt to keep his eyes inside his skull. Sansa looked at the table, there were so many choices she wasn’t sure where to start. Beric handed her a bleach bottle and she thought he wanted her to clean up the mess she made until he aimed the nozzle at Ramsay’s eyes. Sansa smiled brightly as he forced Ramsay to open his eyes so she could bathe them in the solution. When she finished she dropped the bottle and leapt into Beric’s arms.

He caught her eagerly and walked toward a chair in the corner of the room. He dropped his pants and drawers while Sansa watched. His body was covered in scars and she longed to kiss every one. He pulled the condom back out and Sansa took it from him. She unwrapped it from the foil and carefully slid it over his hardened penis. He closed his eyes and his muscles contracted as she slid her hand up and down the lubricated shaft.

She lowered herself onto his lap straddling him as he explored her bare chest with his tongue. She rocked backward and he braced her with his arms. He brought her back flush to him so he could tease her labia with his penis while she writhed in his lap. She moaned loudly and gasped when he rubbed his penis on her clitoris. He slipped a finger inside her and pulled it out glistening, before licking it clean.

Beric was kissing her deeply when she lined up his penis with her opening. She eased her body slowly around it and it was his turn to gasp and moan. She rotated her hips and he let out a low pleasure filled moan. She slid up and down his cock at a slow pace before building up a speed that his body responded eagerly. He came first but he refused to let her off her lap until she found her own completion with the help of his fingers.

Sansa was only twenty-five years old. She didn’t know much about the world but she knew some truths. She knew that good girls didn’t arrange kidnappings, or torture men. She also knew that good girls didn’t have sex right after they blinded someone. Sansa wasn’t a good girl. Not anymore, that good girl died when she held the maked, crumpled body of Jeyne. No, Sansa was the arm of vengeance itself and Beric didn’t hate her for it because he too understood. Together they would defend the weak and helpless by bathing in the blood of the wicked. 

 

The next morning she was eating pancakes while Joey smiled and read the latest headline.

 

“The Bodies of Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey Lannister were recovered late yesterday evening. Sources say that the eyes of the Lannister heir had been removed and replaced with blinking Christmas bulbs. Our same sources report that Ramsay Bolton may have been gelded before death. A note was found on each body and our sources speculate that they contained the revised lyrics to a popular Christmas song."

 

 

 

**We see you when you’re sleeping.**

**We know when you’re awake.**

**We know if you’ve been bad or good.**

**So be good for goodness sake.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'Ice Harvest' 
> 
> http://youtu.be/Q3nVgmyhJs0
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins! Bring on the fun :D
> 
> Hint: Love and Marriage
> 
> Hint 2: Traditions are everything


	12. Ice Harvest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

** **

**Sansa/Hizdahr**

**“Pay no attention to the man in the trunk.”**

**~Vic~**

 

 

 

Sansa woke up to the sounds of muffled cursing. She felt like the Riverrun Marching band was performing a halftime show inside her skull. When her eyes finally focused she saw Kalys Karstark bound and gagged on the floor of a bumpy van. She was trying to escape her ropes and Sansa tried to sit up. That’s when she realized she too was also bound and gagged.

 

_Merry fucking Christmas._

 

**Earlier that morning:**

Hizdahr sat at his desk in the corner office of The Mereen Pyramid Hotel & Casino. His father had worked tirelessly turning this casino into what it was today. That was before Dany Stormborn had him and the other heads of the mafia executed in broad daylight. All this, so she could gain control over the underworld. Hizdahr loved his father and felt his loss every single day, when he closed his eyes at night he could still see his body riddled with bullets. No one understood his loss except Sansa.

Sansa was beautiful, kind and smart. She was the antithesis of Dany in every way and he loved her for it. Falling in love with her was the best and most dangerous thing he had ever done. She was the wife of the _imp_ , Dany’s second in command. She had been forced into marriage just as he had; the only difference was she had built a tentative friendship with her husband while Hizdahr’s wife barely addressed him with concealed hostility.

The day Dany had held a gun to his head and forced him to his knees he closed his eyes and welcomed death. When she informed him that he could either marry her or be executed he thought about death, but then who would avenge his father? More importantly what would happen to Sansa? Besides, the underworld was unhappy with Dany and her totalitarianism way of life. They had called upon him for retribution and he answered by founding The Sons of the Harpy.

 

“Hizdahr?” His eyes snapped up from his desk to the beautiful blue eyes of Sansa Stark. He hadn’t even heard her come into his office.

“Yes?” He smiled at her; it was easy to do when you stare into the face of an angel.

“Here’s your coffee and mail.” She set down a bundle on the desk and handed him a cup of hot coffee.

“Thank you.” He took it from her their hands lingering for a precious moment before the _imp_ walked in.

 

“Oh, Sansa there you are. It’s Kalys, she’s threatening to shove a Christmas tree up Grey Worm’s ass.” Tyrion looked amused.

“Why would she do that?” Sansa asked surprised.

“Kalys caught him spying on her and Missandei in the girls locker room. He swears it was an accident but you know Kalys.” He rolled his eyes and Sansa left the room hurriedly. Hizdahr was sorry to see her leave.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” Tyrion said wistfully.

“Yes.” Hizdahr replied quietly.

“It’s my duty as her husband to keep her safe. My advice to you is this, stay the hell away from _my_ wife.” Tyrion left the room without looking back.

 

Hizdahr scoffed, the _imp_ fucked anything in a skirt and he had the nerve to warn _him_ away? He flipped through the mail Sansa brought when his eyes drifted toward a small white card tucked into the bundle. It had Sansa’s handwriting on it and his heart beat faster when he flipped it over and looked at the back.

 

_Meet me at 12:00 in the Dothraki Suite._

 

He smiled and put the card through the shredder, 12:00 could not come fast enough.

 

 

**Later that afternoon:**

 

Sansa sat nervously in the Dothraki Suite. What if Hizdahr didn’t get her message? What if he refused to help her? They only had an hour before anyone noticed them missing. Was that enough time? She had chosen the suite carefully; it was still under renovation, which meant Dany hadn’t had time to install the hidden cameras yet. Noon was the one time at the casino where everyone was so focused on themselves they didn’t have time to worry about what anyone else was doing.

Her husband was fucking his mistress in their bedroom, not that she minded. They had not married for love and had certainly never been intimate. Daario was at the shooting range working on his aim and Dany was having lunch with Barristan. After Kalys's brilliant performance earlier Missandei and Grey Worm had decided to take the rest of the day off to avoid her wrath. Sansa usually spent her afternoon at the spa but she had paid Kitty Baelish to take her place. As long as no one looked too closely they would think she was the one getting the mud bath treatment.

 

 

Hizdahr walked into the room. “You came.” She spoke it as a statement but her tone of relief was not lost on him.

“I got your note.” He sat down next to her on the bed.

 

Sansa had been so nervous and tense that when he finally appeared and sat down next to her on the bed she cried. Hizdahr seemed surprised, obviously he was not expecting that reaction but he held her anyway as she curled her body around him. He kissed her and almost instantly her tears stopped. She kissed him back harder and soon they were pulling each other’s clothes off.

They fell back on the bed and she tugged his pants and Grinch themed boxers off. She ran her hands up his dark legs stopping only where his course grew. He was looking at her with lust filled eyes and she refused to break eye contact as she licked his cock. She cupped his balls and he threw his head back. She explored the ridges of his shaft with her tongue taking care to flick the head.

His hands drifted to her auburn locks as the air filled with his gasps and grunts. Sansa took his cock fully in her mouth as she hummed a Christmas tune. The vibrations from her vocal cords her caused him to buck and moan in response. She began sucking more intently when she gently scrapped her nails along the inside of his inner thigh. A shudder coursed through his body and he looked at her with eyes that were akin to worship.

She relaxed her jaw and took him in as deeply as she could without choking. He pulled her hair lightly when his body reached its climax. The taste of his seed filled her mouth and she swallowed it before licking the rest of his cock clean. He watched her before flipping her on her back and kissing her deeply. His hands were exploring her chest when she remembered why she asked him to come.

 

“Hizdahr.” He only grunted in response as his mouth found her nipple. “Hizdahr.” She said more forcefully.

“Yes?” He finally pulled his mouth away but his hands were now wandering.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” She tried to hide her blush.

“Really?” He nibbled her earlobe. “Anything else you’d like to confess?”

“Only that I’m in love with you.” She looked away and steeled herself for the inevitable rejection only it didn’t come.

 

He just stared at her with the softest eyes she had ever seen and carefully traced her lips with his finger. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Hizdahr zo Loraq.” She smiled at him.

“I love you, Sansa Stark.” She noted that he omitted her Lannister last name and smiled at him because of it. “Is this why you brought me here, so we could confess our undying love and ravish each other.” He was grinning now and looking at her suggestively.

“I want to leave Mereen.” She knew the ramifications of her statements the minute she said it out loud. He sat up in bed and she followed him kissing his shoulder.

“She’ll never let you go.” He said it softly as he turned and cupped her face with his hand.

“I know.” Sansa tried to blink the tears away. “But, I’m tired of being her prisoner.” He pulled her in tightly. “You could come with me.” She smiled at him her eyes filled with hope. “We could escape our hell together and find paradise.”

“Okay.” He kissed her on the top of the head and laughed at her surprised expression. “My love, I would give you the world if you asked.”

“Hizdahr, you are my world.” She breathed a sigh of relief as he lowered her back toward the bed. “You really are my Christmas miracle.”

“If that’s true, let me kiss your lips.” He rubbed his thumbs over her hardened nipples causing her to squirm at the sensation. Sansa nodded and puckered up until she saw that he had a different set of lips in mind. She blushed for a whole new reason.

 

 

**Later that night:**

 

Hizdahr contacted a member of The Sons of the Harpy as soon as he left Sansa’s side. He arranged for his men to smuggle them out of the city and provide them with new identities. The sole purpose of The Sons of the Harpy was to destabilize Dany’s power so they could finally depose her. Her husband running off with the wife of her chief advisor would be a huge blow not only to her ego but her power as well. The women he loved the most in this world would help him destroy the women he hated. Perhaps it was Sansa who was _his_ Christmas miracle.

He was sitting at the dining room table with Dany and Daario while he hacked through the security terminal of the casino and transferred twenty million gold dragons into his hidden bank account in Bravos. To start a new life with Sansa he would need money. To give her the life she deserved he would need a lot of money. Dany was too busy giving Daario a hand job under the table too pay any attention to him. She didn’t seem to mind that the sex act was in plain view of her husband; in fact he thought that’s why she did it.

Barristan would be his biggest obstacle and if it came down between his life and the old man’s, Hizdahr wouldn’t hesitate. The missing money would be noted and he arranged for his men to grab Sansa in the chaos. _His Sansa._ He still couldn’t believe she had given him a blowjob and confessed her love for him in one day. When her perfect pink lips closed around his cock he was sure he had died and gone to heaven but when she swallowed his seed and licked him clean that’s when he knew he was.

How many times had he fantasized about her? Too many to count and now that she returned his affection he planned on turning all his fantasies into realities. She was brave, gentle and strong, everything his father had wished for his son to find. Sansa was a treasure and he would not squander her, not like the _imp_ had. As expected Barristan came running into the room, his face full of disappointment when he saw what Daario and Dany were up to. The two jumped and separated when he whispered into her ear. He watched with a blank face as Dany jumped up and screamed the sweetest words he had ever heard.

 

“Where are my dragons!”

 

The three of them took off running, a humorous sight to see as Daario tried to tuck his cock back in his pants. Hizdahr was once again left alone; a small smile crossed his face. This was the best Christmas he had ever had. He carefully folded his cloth napkin and walked toward the exit and wondered if his men had gotten Sansa out safely yet.

 

 

**The Extraction:**

 

Sansa had been kidnapped that much was obvious. Hizdahr had promised he would get her out but she didn’t see him, which meant that Dany had found out. If she was to die at least she could die happy knowing that a man she had loved from afar also loved her. Her biggest regret was that whoever grabbed her had also grabbed Kalys. One minute they had been exchanging Christmas gifts and the next thing she knew she was bound and gagged in a van.

She really didn’t want to leave Mereen but every day Dany grew more erratic. It turned out that she wasn’t any safer in Mereen than she had been in Kings Landing. Sansa had tried to explain her fears to Tyrion but her _husband_ was too preoccupied to pay her mind. He was a good man but he spent too much time drinking and whoring around. She couldn’t count on him to save her, which was something she would need to do for herself.

The van stopped and Sansa ducked, as the sound of gunfire broke out around her. The doors flew open and Sandor Clegane stood there with his gun drawn. He pulled his girlfriend, Kalys out of the van before he took her gag off.

 

 

“Where the fuck have you been!” Kalys was pissed but he silenced her protests with a hungry growl and deep kiss.

“Sansa?” She turned her head toward Tyrion in surprise. “I didn’t know you had been taken as well.” He climbed inside the van and took her gag out.

“That, my dear husband, sums up our relationship perfectly.” They both looked at each other knowingly. “Still, it’s nice to see you.” He smiled and shook his head at her.

“How does someone forget about their own wife?” She looked up as Barristan stepped up to the van and peered in. “Are you ladies alright?”

“Are you kidding me? Get these fucking ropes off of us!” Kalys looked at everyone like they were idiots.

 

 

Sandor and Barristan were helping them out of their ropes when a dark SUV pulled up beside them. The tires squealed sending gravel everywhere. Barristan and Sandor began firing but the SUV was armored and didn’t return fire. Kalys and Sansa sucked and rolled under the van. After a few minutes a door opened and she sighed as Hizdahr stepped out surrounded by The Sons of the Harpy.

 

 

“Sansa!” Hizdahr shouted for her and Sansa scrambled out from underneath the van. Barristan grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him.

“Please, let me go.” She pleaded.

“Let her go!” Hizdahr pointed his gun at Barristan who still refused to let her go.

“Barristan please, let me go.” She placed a tentative hand on his. “I love him.”

“Love can move mountains or cause wars. Choose wisely Sansa.” He sighed as let her go.

 

 

She ran across the gravel and launched herself into Hizdahr’s open arms. She kissed him and looked over as Kalys came running after her ignoring Sandor’s shouts. The two girls hugged before Hizdahr ushered them both inside the SUV. Sandor ran over and exchanged a few heated words before climbing inside after them. She waved to Tyrion and Barristan sadly as they drove off. She had chosen war but maybe it was a war that needed to be fought.

 

 

Sansa fell asleep in Hizdahr’s arms and for the first time in a long time she didn’t wake up with a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'Bad Santa'
> 
> http://youtu.be/xQvaoRScND4
> 
> The first person to guess the correct pairing will recieve a hilarious cameo! 
> 
> Hint: "Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a alcohol"


	13. Bad Santa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

** **

**Sansa/Robert**

**“You need many years of therapy. Many, many, many fuckin’ years of therapy”**

**~Marcus~**

 

 

 

Sansa sat in front of the mirror looking at her reflection. She was wearing her new lingerie set from La Perla and black lace-up thigh-high boots. Both had been an early Christmas gift from Robert and she was looking forward to seeing his face when he saw her in them. She walked around her penthouse suite making sure everything was perfect. She adored living in The Red Keep, which was located in the very heart of Scottsdale, Arizona.

Her home had been the first gift Robert had given her and he had taken care of all the details, even hiring the famed interior decorator Varys, to make sure it looked exactly the way she wanted it too. It was like kept telling her, “Nothing is too good for my lemon cake.” She was after all, the mistress of a Billionaire CEO and she had yet to have a wish that wasn’t granted or a desire that wasn’t fulfilled. He was a generous and devoted lover and Sansa loved expressing her gratitude to him, in many new and exciting ways.

Tonight they would be celebrating their six-month anniversary and he had been hinting that he had something special planned. She secretly hoped it was that gorgeous pearl necklace she had set her eyes on earlier. If it wasn’t she knew it wouldn’t take long for her to get her hands on it. They had been intimate for half a year and yet they had known each other for much longer. He was _technically_ still considered her godfather, but she often wondered if that term still applied once a person graduated to adulthood.

She chuckled remembering the first time she was sent to his hotel room. Sansa had been working for Kitty Baelish as an escort when his usual girl had called out sick. She was filling in for her friend Victoria. Soon to be Victoria Clegane, when he opened the door. He was so startled that he looked like a stag caught in the headlights. His brother Stannis had the exact same expression on his face only a year prior. Stannis was married now, he had married her best friend Sarah a fellow Mockingbird.

Naturally Robert gave a lecture about how this wasn’t the life for her and demanding to know who got her into this life of carnal pleasure.

* * *

“Sansa, for gods sake! You’re someone’s _daughter_.”

“Robert, _every_ woman you have ever fucked has been someone’s _daughter_.”

 

That seemed to shut him up. She explained that his job was to be the CEO of Baratheon Enterprises. He was feared in the financial district and people called him ‘The Hammer.’ Robert was a respected professional and so was Sansa. Her job was to provide comfort and tend to the needs of men that ruled the world, both literally and figuratively. She was part lover, part therapist and always a friend.

 

“I look at you and all I see is the little girl with red pigtails asking me for a piggy back ride.”

“And I still see you as the handsome King in my memories. But, those memories tucked safely in my past. Now I also see you as a leader among men. Can you truly not see me as a woman grown?”

“You think I’m handsome?”

“Yes, although I didn’t have a crush on you growing up. My heart always beat a bit stronger for Renly.”

“What a disappointment that must have been for you.”

“You have no idea.”

 

They had laughed after that and she took the opportunity to kiss him. He was still showing signs of resistance, which frustrated her. She wasn’t used to men resisting her charms. Suddenly he had become the biggest challenge of her life. She had an idea and stripped naked, Robert’s eyes _refused_ to focus on anything but her face. However, he didn’t leave the room in a righteous anger and she took that as a good sign. She opened up her little silver case and brought out her vibrator she nicknamed ‘The Dragon.’

Sansa plumped some pillows and laid herself on the bed strategically, for his maximum enjoyment. She turned on the devise and gasped as the pulsating vibrations caused her pearl to tingle with excitement. His eyes drifted down her body before snapping shut, a trickle of sweat worked down the side of his face. She smiled and threw her head back as she was taken away in waves of ecstasy. Her folds were wet when she slipped The Dragon inside only intensified her pleasure.

 

“Gods! Robert…yes!”

“Fuck.”

 

Robert pulled the vibrator out of her and threw it against the wall. She felt like protesting until she saw that he was ripping off his pants like they were on fire. In his excitement He ripped through two condoms before cursing and finally wrapping one around his cock. He claimed her mouth with his and pushed his cock deep within her. She clawed at his back as he thrust in and out of her vigorously.

 

“Howl for me, my pretty wolf.”

“Oh! Robert….yes…harder…faster...Gods!”

“Fuck!”

 

It didn’t take much effort to get her to howl as she climaxed. The weight of his body mixed with. He came shortly after with the sounds of grunts and the headboard slamming into the wall. They lay panting on the bed after and looking at each other with new eyes. He no longer saw her as some little girl in pigtails and she finally got to learn what ‘The Hammer’ really felt like. She curled up next to him as he lightly stroked her hair.

 

“You marked me up pretty good, wolf. Did you forget I have a wife?”

 “Cersei is a colossal bitch. I hope you take off your shirt and point it out to her.”

 

He laughed at that and smacked her ass lightly. She ran her fingers through his chest hair and watched, as his eyes grew distant and misty. The ghosts of the past had come knocking at his door and it was up to her to chase them away.

 

“I was in love with another wolf once.”

“My Aunt Lyanna.”

“She was the love of my life. _He_ took her from me.”

“What was her favorite color? When was her birthday? Who were her best friends? Did she enjoy lemon cakes? What was she like when she was angry?”

“Gods girl, I don’t know. It’s been so long. What the fuck are you getting at?”

“You didn’t know her. You have built nothing short of a shrine to her in your memory. What human being could ever compete with such a ghost? She wasn’t perfect she had flaws and you dishonor her memory by placing her on such a high pedestal.”

 

Sansa closed her eyes and tensed up waited for the shouting. She knew his anger would come bubbling out and she prayed he would have the decency to not strike her. He had smacked Cersei once while he was drunk, and that bitch of a woman didn’t have the balls to tell him what she just had. She waited, but nothing happened. After what seemed like ages she snuck a glance at him. He was staring at the ceiling quietly.

 

“She left me for another man, a _married_ man.”

“Yes she did.

“She was my fiancé and she didn’t _care_.”

“It was a bitch move.”

“You’re right, Lyanna Stark was a bitch.”

“Yup.”

“It’s time I let her go.”

 

Sansa really was part lover, part therapist and always a friend. Robert pulled her close and nuzzled her hair. She wanted to freshen up so she tugged his arm and lead him to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and splashed her with the cold water. She squealed and tried to run away but he wrapped his arms around her and carried her inside. They kissed until the water turned hot, and then they kissed some more.

 

“You can’t keep being an escort?”

“I’m pretty sure I can.”

“It’s wrong, your father would never forgive me if I didn’t rescue you from this life of sin.”

“So I’m a damsel in distress now?”

“Yes? What if I paid for all your time? That way instead of fucking some stranger you and I could sit…and _talk_.”

“What you mean is, you only want me to  _talk_ with you, and only you.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Fine, but it will cost you.”

“What does that mean?”

“What it means is that if you turn me into your mistress you _will_ treat me like the mother fucking princess that I am. Keeping me happy will be _expensive_.”

“You can have anything you want. I don’t care about the money. I’m doing this for Ned.”

“Sure you are.”

* * *

Sansa was brought back to the present when Robert walked through the door wearing a Santa hat and carrying a bouquet of blue winter roses and an invitation to the wedding of her brother Robb and his college sweetheart Pips. She ran across the room and launched into her lovers arms kissing him passionately. He gave into her kisses until she noticed a nasty bruise on his eye.

 

“Robert, what happened?”

“Cersei found out about us and told your father. He wasn’t pleased.”

 

He looked so despondent that she placed his hands on her breasts and watched as his eyes lit up. His hands felt the silk of her new bra and he teased her nipples. Sansa slowly performed a strip tease for him removing the expensive lingerie but opting to leave her new boots on. She lowered herself on the bed and watched as he kneeled in front of her. He started trailing kisses up her leg toward her inner thigh.

 

“Fuck me Santa. Fuck me Santa. Fuck me Santa!” She screamed when Cersei barged into her penthouse suite.

“I always knew you were a filthy whore, but screwing your own _godfather_ has to be a new low. Even for you.” Cersei spat as Robert froze in surprise.

“Good evening Mrs. Baratheon. I’d get up but as you can see I’m a little busy at the moment.” She sighed and rolled her head back, it was her cue for Robert to continue.

“I’m standing right here!” Cersei looked disgusted but Sansa could tell Robert was highly amused.

 

 

“That’s not my ahhhhhhhh problem.” Robert had begun licking her pearl. Cersei turned her back on them. “Why exactly are you here?”

“I found a spare key to your love nest in _my_ husbands things. I came here to tell him that I want a divorce, it will cost him _everything_ and to inform you, little dove, that the press knows all about your sordid affair.” Cersei sounded pleased with herself.

“You ahhhhhhh told the press.” Robert was doing sinful things with his tongue.

“Yes, and there’s nothing you can to do about it.” Cersei was practically giddy.

 

 

Sansa reached over for her phone and placed it on speaker. It took less then one ring for the voice on the other end to answer.

 

 

“My dearest Sansa. To what do I owe the pleasure?” The voice of Tywin Lannister filled the room.

“Tywin, you sound sexier everyday. But, I called for a reason. Cersei told the press about my affair. I’m afraid I’m going to have to release that file on her. This is the courtesy call you asked me for.” Both Robert and Cersei stared at her shocked.

“Thank you.” Tywin was always quick to the point.

“Daddy, what file? Also do you know this _whore_ and Robert are having sex right _now_.” Cersei was whining and Sansa always found that amusing.

“Oh?” Tywin sounded slightly intrigued and Sansa blushed. “Also don’t ever speak about Miss Stark that way again. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir.” Cersei said sounding like she was going to cry.

 

 

“Tywin? Tommy told me about the solid gold vibrator you bought her, you filthy lion. All I want to know is, where’s mine?” Sansa asked eagerly.

“I will have one sent over for you tomorrow.” Sansa could almost picture Tywin smirking over the phone.

“Gods! Tywin do not buy _my_ mistress a fucking vibrator. I can take care of all her needs.” Robert had stopped licking her to voice his objection.

“We’ll see.” And with that Tywin hung up.

 

 

“How _well_ do you know Tywin Lannister?” Robert asked taking a slight break.

“I know him very _well_.” Sansa said slyly.

“I am going to fuck his name right out of your memory.” Robert announced before sucking her pearl in earnest causing Sansa to giggle.

 

 

“Whore!” Cersei spat out again “Now tell me, what file?”

“The file I have that proves you’ve been having an incestuous relationship with your twin for years and that he also fathered all of your children.” She glanced over at Cersei’s horrified face.

“That’s…not possible.” Cersei stammered out. Robert looked up at his wife with hurt filled eyes.

“Cersei, when you play the game you win or you loose. There is no middle ground.”

 

 

She pushed Roberts head back down on her pussy and began moaning his name not giving a fuck if Cersei was there or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story I will be posting will be based on 'The Family Man'
> 
> http://youtu.be/OnouJoQs52c
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a cameo! Ooooooh Ahhhhhhh
> 
> Hint: Ice, Ice Baby


	14. The Family Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> In case you were all wondering who is Ben Crompton really is, I would happily recomend the BBC Show Pramface :)
> 
>  
> 
> http://youtu.be/6e9dPoBXnzE

 

** Sansa/Eddison**

**“Don’t screw up the best thing in your life just because you’re a little unsure about who you are.”**

**~Arnie~**

 

 

 

Sansa wasn’t late. She was always late, but today she was early. Her car skidded into her driveway and she hastily threw it into park before grabbing her purse and dashing inside. The house looked empty which didn’t make sense because she had seen her husband’s car in the driveway. She heard some faint laughing coming from the den. _That’s weird._ She slipped her shoes off and quietly approached. Sansa placed her ear against the door and listened. Her husband was definitely inside. She kicked the door open and her eyes fell toward her husband and the pretty redhead sitting on his lap.

 

“I knew it!” She yelled at them.

“Now sweetling, it’s not what it looks like.” Her husband shifted uncomfortably.

“Don’t sweetling me, _Eddison_.”She glared at him. “How could you?”

“Mama!” Her daughter jumped off her fathers lap and leapt into Sansa’s awaiting arms.

“Shireen has the flu and I didn’t want to cancel the poker game so I just brought our baby girl in here.” He waved to the poker table set up.

“Not baby.” Holly said sternly.

“Our babysitter canceled so you thought you would teach _our_ daughter to gamble?’ Sansa stared at him disbelievingly.

“It’s poker Sansa. It’s not I look her to the horse races again.” He flashed a cheeky grin at her.

“What do you mean again?” She asked suspiciously as he winked and walked over to the bar.

He kissed her soundly and they were still kissing when Sandor and Olive walked in the room carrying snacks. Sandor let out a whistle causing them both to jump and turn red.

“Auntie Slolive!” Holly ran over and hugged her heavily pregnant godmother. “Baby Bob!” She kissed Olives stomach and smiled.

“Uncle Nasdor! Airplane!” She beamed up at her godfather with pleading eyes. He nodded and whisked her in the air while she laughed.

 

 

Sansa and Olive laughed at Holly's mispronunciation of everyone’s names while they began laying out the snacks. Eddy was busy taking a thousand photos on his phone of his daughter and Sandor laughing.

Sarah and Stannis arrived next, looking slightly disheveled. Sarah’s blouse was missing a button and Sansa noted that Stannis had a lipstick smudge on his collar. Olive reached in her purse and pulled out a safety pin. Sarah blushed as she tried to fix the gap that was showing off her cleavage.

 

 

“Uncle Annis! Look!" Holly, apparently through with the airplane game, waved a picture drawn with crayons.

“It’s very good.” Stannis forcibly remarked. “Is that a dog?”

“No.” Holly took the paper back and turned it around. “See, nowman.”

“It’s a beautiful snowman.” Sarah said warmly.

“Wait! That was a dog. This is the snowman I think." Eddy remarked coming up behind them and exchanging the pictures with a smile.

 

 

Holly dragged Sarah and Stannis to a little table in the corner full of drawings. Eddy came up behind Sansa and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into him and smiled. Tera and Loki were the last to arrive. Sansa suppressed a giggle. Loki was wearing a hideous Christmas sweater; it was olive green with a gold reindeer on the front with an actual blinking red nose.

 

 

“Oooh pretty.” Holly had been drawn to that sweater like a moth to the flame.

“You have my gratitude Lady Holly.” He bowed and smiled at her before taking the ugly thing off and draping it over her daughter.

“Look mama!" Holly twirled around the room in the ugly sweater. Sansa smiled at her and Loki, the two of them had a special bond.

“Loki you _promised_ you would wear it.” Tera admonished him.

“I did wear it. It’s not my fault you didn’t specify how long I would be required to wear that _monstrosity_.”

“It was a gift from my mother.” Tera crossed her arms and looked crossly at him.

“Please tell your mother she’s welcome to return it back to whatever level of hell it came from.” Loki looked at his wife with amusement. Before she could protest any further he kissed her and she slowly wrapped her arms around him.

 

Sansa and Eddy set up the poker table and everyone sat in their designated places with the exception of Holly who was sitting in between her parents drawing more pictures of dogs. It was her not-so-subtle way of letting her parents know exactly what she wanted for Christmas. Eddy dealt the Greyjoy Squid embossed cards, skipping over his daughter. Sansa was pleased, the less Holly knew about gambling the better. Mereen Hold‘Em, was the name of the game and Sansa watched the group to see if she could spot everyone’s tell.

Stannis had no visible tell but he had a habit of grinding his teeth when he received a bad hand. Sarah like her husband had a perfect poker face, but she would tap her foot if she got excited. Sandor would run a hand over chin when he was doing well and Olive would play with her wedding ring if she were struggling. Tera and Loki were impossible to read, she had tried and the two never gave anything away. Eddy was the easiest because he always winked at her when he did badly and would snake a hand up her thigh when he was doing well. She wondered what her tell was.

 

 

“You bite your lip.” Loki spoke looking directly at her.

“What?” Sansa asked a bit caught off guard.

“You were wondering what you’re tell was. You bite your lip.” Loki smirked and looked back at his cards.

“How did you know that?” Eddy asked amazed.

"Everyone knows her tell." Olive laughed.

"What do you want for Christmas Holly?" Tera asked sweetly.

“Want puppy" Holly said seiously.

“You want a puppy?” Loki asked with a smile while nodded.

“Santa.” Holly said excitedly.

Loki scoffed. “Santa.” Tera elbowed him and gave him a warning look. “Holly, What do we say to Thor, the God of Thunder?” He asked her casually.

Holly smiled and stood up on her chair and raised her small hands in the air. “Not today!” Sansa and Eddy tried to get her to sit back down.

“Or?” Loki asked smiling.

“Stupid Thor.” Holly said seriously.

 **“Loki!”** Sansa and Eddy both said simultaneously.

 

 

Tera smacked him on the back of the head. Sandor, Olive and Sarah struggled to suppress their laughter while Stannis looked on appalled. Loki simply smiled the biggest smile Sansa had ever seen. Eddy shook his head and handed Holly a candy cane to distract her. Everyone struggled to concentrate back on the game after that and Sansa tried desperately not to bite her lip.

 

 

“Daddy?” She looked up at him seriously.

“Yes, my little Ginger Snap?” He looked at her with the adoring eyes she loved so much.

"Love you." Holly hugged him and Sansa watched her husband melt inside.

 

Everyone at the table smiled and looked back at their cards. Usually poker night was exciting and stressful but tonight Holly had turned it into something happy and upbeat. She really was Sansa's Christmas miracle.

The doctors once told her she could never have children. Sansa never knew she was even pregnant. She didn't show and as far as she could tell she had no symptoms. Sansa ended up giving birth in an army base bathroom on Christmas Eve. She had never seen Eddy look so surprised. He only thought she was suffering from severe constipation. 

They had married a month later at Winterfell and Sansa knew it was the best decision of her life. They may have come from different worlds but sometimes that could be a blessing. Who knew the army man could be such a family man.

 

“Eddy, I have been meaning to ask. How did you meet Sansa?” Sarah asked suddenly. Sansa hadn't realized she had never told her friend this story.

Eddy looked thoughtful for a moment. “I was in the army with her brother Jon and his sister kept sending him these delicious lemon cakes. Well Jon and I got sick of those cakes pretty quick but neither one of us had the heart to tell her that. So she just kept sending them. One time she included a picture and the minute I saw her face I was in love. I kept begging him to introduce us. You know something. I can be very persuasive."

He leaned in to kiss Sansa but she pulled her head back. “What do you mean you were sick of my lemon cakes? Did you throw them away?”

“Of course not. We took them to target practice with us. One time we even rigged a box to explode.” He shook his head laughing.

“You blew up my lemon cakes?” Sansa was so surprised she almost fell out of her chair. Luckily Olive held her steady.

“Noooo! Daddy! Lemon cakes.” Holly whispered her eyes filling up with tears.

“Well now I feel bad.” Eddy remarked shaking his head while comforting his daughter.

"We Tollett women take our lemon cakes seriously." Sansa remarked.

 

 

Another half hour went by where the only interruptions came from Olive’s constant need to use the bathroom. Sansa was up one hundred gold dragons and feeling pretty good about her hand. She had three dragons and a pair of stags, hopefully her luck would continue. Eddy had folded early and was spending his time coloring pictures with his daughter. She smiled at the pair of them. Sansa led a blessed life.

 

 

“Mama?” Sansa looked into a pair of blue and bright red hair and smiled.

“Yes, my little lemon cake?” Her daughter stood up to give her a kiss.

"Love you." Holly said before sitting back down.

"And I love you." Sansa hugged her daughter tightly before letting her get back to her coloring.

 

These were the memories that Sansa wanted to hang tightly onto. She wanted them to burn in her mind for all time and eternity never to be forgotten. One day her daughter would grow up. Sansa was determined to enjoy her daughter’s childhood while she could.

Sansa knew that Eddy felt the same way; yesterday she caught him looking at Holly's baby book crying. He loved his daughter and Sansa wondered what he would do when the boys started showing up.  

 

“Hey Sansa, where do you think you would be if you'd never met this bum?” Tera asked with a smile.

"Hey, now. I'm not a bum. I have a flat ass actually." Eddy smirked as Tera rolled her eyes.

"Language" Sansa hissed at him. "I would either be all alone and very sad or I would be a world famous chef." She responded with a shrug.

“Where do you think you'd be?” Tera asked Eddy with a smile. "I know I for one would be bored without my God of mischief." She kissed Loki on the cheek.

“I would living a life of celibacy, stuck in some frozen wasteland, waiting for some beautiful princess to rescue me. ” Eddy responded winking at Sansa.

“What sell-a-bizy?” Holly asked her brow furrowing at the word.

“It’s what you’ll be living like, if I have anything to say about it.” Eddy responded with a serious expression.

“We’ll make sure of it.” Sandor growled lowly.

“Sandor.” Olive elbowed him while the women all tried covering up their smiles. She then gripped her stomach and gave a painful groan. “I think I just peed myself.”

 

 

Everyone looked over to the small wet stain on her lap and sprang into action. Sarah was a doctor so she immediately began checking her vitals and reminding Sandor to remain calm. Sansa had never seen him look so frightened before. Eddy plucked Holly into his arms as the Cleganes and Baratheons made their way outside toward the hospital.

 

 

“Auntie Slolive..okay?” Holly asked worriedly.

“She will be fine little one.” Tera tweaked her nose and her daughter smiled brightly.

“I hope you don’t mind, we left Holly’s present under the tree when we came in.” Loki remarked casually as he gathered up his coat.

“Mine!” Holly wiggled out of her fathers arms and scampered toward the tree.

“That was kind of you.” Sansa said with a smile.

 

They all turned when they heard a squeal of laughter.

 

**“A PUPPY!”**

 

Sansa looked at Loki and wondered, not for the first time if he really was the god of mischief. Eddy shook his head and showed them  out while Tera promised to send them updates from the hospital .

 

Once they were alone Eddy took her hand so they could go meet the newest member of the Tollett Family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will based on 'Love Actually' 
> 
>  
> 
> http://youtu.be/KdzH6a-XEGM
> 
>  
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a cameo! SWEET
> 
> Hint: Don't hate the playa' hate the game
> 
> Hint 2: Ladies Man


	15. Love Actually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> BLARG! Sorry I'm late I have been a busy bee directing a Christmas Concert and last night was the BIG performance. 
> 
> I'm talking a full choir here WITH a pianist, a harpist, a violinist AND an organist. 
> 
> Jenni of the Lynn's is tired!
> 
> Now if you'll excuse me I am going to listen to be in my room listening to ANYTHING besides Christmas music.

** **

**Sansa/Podrick**

**“True love lasts a lifetime.”**

**~Karen~**

 

 

Sansa sat quietly in her den and listened to the stillness of her home. She loved the mornings, as it was the only time she could truly be herself. In only a few hours her husband would wake up and they would prepare for the day. The minute she stepped outside the mansion she would have to put on her mask of happiness and the mantle of devoted wife to the Prime Minister. She was the one of the most powerful women in the world yet she had never felt so lonely. Their marriage was a shame, but their true friendship was real. She had everything she could ever want except love, which was the one thing Tyrion couldn't give her.

She smiled when her husband’s personal assistant knocked softly before entering. The first time she met him he was the photographer at her wedding, Tyrion was so impressed that he hired him to be a permanent member of staff. He had taken that opportunity seriously and worked his way all the way to the top. Sansa liked Podrick; he had a kind heart and a gentle nature. She wondered if he knew how much she looked forward to seeing him every morning. He greeted her politely and handed her a cup of hot cider and a freshly baked lemon scone looking away quickly when their hands touched. She gripped the handle of the mug and inhaled, the scent of apples and cinnamon caused her to hum happily.

Podrick standing stiff as a board shifting from one foot to another. He looked like he had something on his mind so Sansa smiled up at him and patted the seat next to her. He let out a sigh and plopped down on the sofa with such a jarring force that she spilled her cider down her top. She let out a startled yelp and stood up, the liquid was burning her skin and without thinking, ripped off her blouse. He jumped off the couch and grabbed her expensive Bravosi Decretive Throw to mop up the spill.

 

 

“Lady Sansa, I’m sorry.” His voice was full of panic and remorse. He began using the throw to wipe off the burning cider from her chest.

“It’s alright, please call me…Sansa.” She was distracted by the fact that his once brisk strokes had turned into gentle, intimate pats.

“Sansa.” He softly whispered. Her heart hammered in response.

 

 

Podrick tentatively reached a hand toward her cheek. She leaned into the warmth of his touch. It had been so long since anyone had touched her. He stepped closer and she tugged the blanket out of his hand. It pooled on the floor leaving her chest feeling flushed and exposed. He traced a thumb along her bra strap causing her to shiver and her flesh to break out in goose bumps.

 

 

“Oh, Lady Sansa there you are.” They both jumped apart when Brienne, Sansa’s personal bodyguard entered the room. “Am I interrupting something?” She narrowed her eyes at Podrick and Sansa’s state of undress.

“Of course not!” Sansa blushed and whipped the blanket off the floor and covered herself tightly with it.

“I spilled hot cider on Sansa and—” Podrick didn’t get a chance to finish before Brienne interrupted him.

“That’s _Lady_ Sansa, to the likes of you.” Brienne hissed at him. “Stop mucking about and go and fetch the Maester.” Podrick almost fled the room before Sansa stopped him.

“Podrick, it’s quite alright. I’m fine, truly.” Sansa smiled at him and he nodded looking a bit more relieved before he left.

“If you wish, I can speak to Tyrion about _him_.” Brienne mentioned as she picked up Sansa’s ruined silk blouse.

“No, thank you, that isn’t necessary.” Sansa replied softly. “You could be kinder to Podrick though.” She added as an afterthought.

“It is not my job to be _kind_.” Brienne replied curtly before looking back into Sansa’s saddened face. “Oh very well, I make no guarantees though.” Sansa beamed up at Brienne who only scoffed.

 

 

Sansa excused herself and headed for her room. Her skin was still tingling from where Podrick had touched her. She needed to take a shower, a cold shower. _What was she thinking_ _stripping in front of him?_ She had wanted him, no _needed_ him to see her, touch her, but why? Gods, what must he think of her? She had acted like some cheap, wanton woman or worse _Margaery Tyrell._ What if he quit over sexual harassment? What would happen if he told Tyrion? Her husband had mistresses aplenty but she had _never_ broken her wedding vows. She refused to give the paparazzi vultures any semblance of power.

After her shower she stopped when she came face to face with her Sexy Santa Calendar, hanging on her wall. December happened to feature Jaqen H’ghar wearing nothing but a strategically placed Santa hat. She counted the days and paused, it was December 21st. That meant that today was her wedding anniversary. She wondered if Tyrion remembered. Last year he forgot and felt so guilty that he indulged her with a shopping spree through the Highgarden Jewelers. She was now the proud owner of some breathtaking sapphire pieces. A part of her was really hoping her husband would forget their anniversary again.

After getting ready for the day she walked toward the kitchen where she knew she could find her husband. Tyrion was sitting at the table drinking a cup coffee with his Chief of Staff Sassy Clegane. He was flirting shamelessly with her while she rolled her eyes and redirected him to today’s agenda. Shae, her husband’s main mistress was lazily flipping through a clothing catalog. Sansa was happy that Tyrion had someone but she didn’t fully trust Shae. The woman’s entire demeanor screamed inevitable betrayal and she was having Brienne secretly follow her.

Sansa smiled at Sassy who grinned back. They were exceptionally close and often found trouble if they were ever left alone for too long. Last Christmas Sassy ended up getting her tongue stuck to the ice sculpture of the North Porridge Oats Man. It would only have been mildly embarrassing if not for the fact that her tongue was stuck to a _certain_ appendage. In the end Sansa’s quick thinking and battery powered blow dryer saved the day. In their defense, they had been drinking a lot of Direwolf Whisky at the time and that was before Sassy met and married Sandor, who bore a striking resemblance to the North Porridge Oats Man, if a bit more scarred.

 

 

“Good morning wife.” Tyrion said with a smirk.

“Good morning husband.” Sansa replied softly as she filled up her own coffee cup. She tried to brace herself for whatever was to come from her earlier encounter with Podrick.

“Happy Anniversary.” He slid a box over to her.

“Thank you.” She opened the box and smiled at the beautiful gold locket inside.

“What's that?” Shae demanded.

“It’s a neck-lace.” Sassy responded, enunciating the word and pantomiming how to wear it. She had a habit of speaking to Shae like she was an idiot.

“I know _that_. What’s she doing with it?” Shae leaned forward and tried to snatch the locket away.

“Excuse me.” Sansa said with pursed lips. She normally left Shae alone but her rudeness was irritating.

“It’s mine. My giant gave it to me after we fucked.” Shae seethed.

“Shut your whore mouth.” Sassy snapped at her, pointing to her mouth to avoid confusion. Shae glared at her.

“You got us identical gifts?” Sansa slid the box back over to Tyrion shaking her head.

“They aren’t identical. This one has our anniversary date engraved on the back.” He smiled and slid the box back.

“She opened it up and flipped the locket over. “It says January 21st.” She put the locket back and slid the box back.

“No offence, Tyrion but you’re a fucking idiot.” Sassy shook her head at him in disbelief.

Tyrion looked at the locket and swallowed. “So another trip to Highgarden then?”

“Trip? I’m thinking trips.” Sansa said smirking before excusing herself.

"Don't forget the concert tonight." Tyrion reminded her. "It's going to be epic." Sansa supressed snort and eyeroll.

 "I want to go to Highgarden." Shae demanded.

"No Shae. Highgarden Jewelers is a place for ladies not whores." Sassy pointed to Shae emphasizing the word whore. "You, no go." She shook her head no. "Whore's stay here." She pointed to the floor. Shae lunged for Sassy but was held back by Tyrion. Sassy was still laughing when Sansa left.

 

It had started snowing lightly outside and Sansa had a desire to taste some snowflakes. She dressed in some winter gear and made her way through the white gardens of Casterly Rock. Podrick was outside building a snowman with Brienne and Sansa couldn’t resist forming a snowball and chucking it squarely at the back of Podrick’s head. He spun around his eyes full of amusement. Brienne looked shocked at her behavior. Sansa merely gave her bright smile in response.

 

 

“Lady Sansa. What an unexpected surprise.” Brienne said awkwardly.

“It’s all right Brienne. I promise I won’t tell anyone I caught you making a snowman.” Sansa said smiling.

“Thank you.” Brienne said relieved. “Tonight you and Lord Tyrion have tickets to attend Robert Baratheon’s comeback Christmas Special. Although I think his desire to restart his career is both pathetic and pointless, I will still need to confirm with Sassy your transportation schedule regardless.”

“She’s in the kitchen.” Sansa pointed with a smile and Brienne nodded and left.

 

 

A snowball hit her in the head as she watched Brienne trudge back toward the mansion. She laughed and dove behind the snowman for protection. She quickly made more snowballs and launched them at Podrick. He dodged most of them and ended up tackling her in the snow. She squealed in protest as he shoved snow down her jacket. He was pinning her down in the snow and breathing heavily, an adorable grin graced the front of his face. She smiled back at him and closed her eyes as he traced her lips with his gloved hand. She opened her eyes and kissed him and kissed him quickly.

He kissed her back and Sansa’s heart swelled with joy. The kiss was sweet and tender and they both smiled through it. They nuzzled each other’s noses and kissed the snowflakes off each other's faces. When he tenderly kissed her closed eyelids she let out a small gasp and kissed him more fully. She would gladly kiss him in the snow all day except the snow he shoved down her coat was starting to burn and she knew that a change of clothes was needed. She grabbed his hand and ran toward the house laughing all the way.

They entered her private entrance and quickly shed their clothes leaving a trail of clothes down her wing toward her bedroom. He was still hopping on one foot tugging off a snow boot when she threw open her door. They tumbled inside still laughing until she tripped over his discarded boot and landed on her backside striking her elbow on the ground. She winced and in an instant he was by her side kissing it tenderly. She placed her hand over his heart and placed his hand over hers.

Podrick slowly kissed her arm all the way to her wrist before kissing back up her arm heading for her neck. He left her side for a brief moment to retrieve some pillows and blankets from the bed. She sat in a bliss filled daze watching him create a cozy spot for them in front of her fireplace. Sansa crawled over to him on her hands and knees; his eyes traced the swaying of her hips to the fullness of her breasts. She could see the arousal as she neared him. He kissed her neck as his fingers trailed down her thin auburn landing strip.

She sighed dreamily as he kissed her mound working his way up to her breasts. His fingers slid in her folds and she could tell she was getting wet for him. He stimulated her with his fingers while his tongue stimulated her nipples. She rocked back and forth until guiding his hand to push deeper inside her. He took her lead graciously and soon she was rocking back and forth as waves of pleasure crashed through her system. She clung to him with a strength she didn't know she possessed, never wanting to let him go.

Sansa crawled on top of him as he laid down on the blanket. She straddled him and carefully slid his cock around her wet folds moaning with pleasure as she did. He looked enraptured with her. She didn’t know if it was her breasts dangling in his face or the way her fiery locks were shining like copper in the glow of the fireplace. She didn’t care all she knew was that she always wanted him to look at her like she was the most important person in the world.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Sansa groaned and slid off a very annoyed looking Podrick. She grabbed a robe and opened her door a crack. She was looking at a very smug Tyrion and Sassy. Brienne was also there but she was standing in the back holding up a pair of Podrick’s drawers with a pool cue, shaking her head. Sansa blushed she opened the door a bit more and Podrick came behind her and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

 

 

“Podrick you left this in my office this morning. Turns out you didn’t need it after all.” He handed his assistant a manila folder smiling.

“You’re not mad?” Sansa didn’t think he would be but it never hurt to ask.

“Why do you think I’ve kept him around all these years?” Her husband said with a wink. "You two are perfect for each other you just didn't know it." Sansa's jaw dropped.

“Here, I thought you might be a little hungry.” Sassy said handing over a small basket. Inside were cans of whip cream, a bottle of chocolate sauce and a jar of maraschino cherries. She also included a package of baby wipes.

“Thanks?” Sansa murmered blushing further.

“I believe these are yours.” Brienne swing the drawers at Podrick who caught them easily. “

“Thank you all. Now if you’ll excuse us.” She shut the door quickly and buried her face in Podrick’s shoulder as he held back a laugh.

 

 

She led him back toward the fireplace so they could resume their previous activity. He was still naked and aroused but before she could reach for him he sat her down gently in front of the fire before retrieving the manila folder. It was a series of homemade signs.

 

 

**LET ME SAY**

**WITHOUT HOPE OR AGENDA**

**JUST BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS**

**(AND AT CHRISTMAS YOU TELL THE TRUTH)**

**TO ME, YOU ARE PERFECT**

**AND MY HEART WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**

 

“I love you Podrick.”

“I’ve always loved you, Sansa.”

 

 

They sat down in front of the fire confessing their love all night long, with touches, sighs, kisses and thrusts. Robert's Concert be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story I post will be based on 'The Christmas Story." 
> 
> http://youtu.be/uvMLfSQrHKE
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a super cute cameo! Awwww the feeeels so many feeeeels
> 
> Hint: Aves
> 
> Hint 2: Black Bird Singing in the dead of night


	16. A Christmas Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

**Sansa/Sam**

**“In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.”**

**~Ralphie~**

 

 

 

 

Sansa and Snow stood in line waiting for their purchases to be gift-wrapped. Normally she would throw whatever gift she had in a gift bag with some tissue paper but her husband was a sneaky one, he always ended up peeking inside. Sandor didn’t even have the decency to hide the evidence. This year everything would be wrapped; it was too big to fit in a bag anyway. She hoped the sheer size of the gifts would throw him off and keep him guessing.

She had purchased Sandor some new rock climbing equipment and a new bed frame. They had broken the last one after being snowed in. Snow had bought her husband ‘The Dornishman’s Guide to the Karma Sutra’ by The Red Viper. Her cousin better appreciate the gift because that book was limited edition and _very_ hard to come by. Sansa would know, she’d looked everywhere for it.

 

 

“Oh, hello Sam. Gilly you look amazing.” Sansa turned to see Snow hugging a familiar face.

“Sam?” Sansa hugged her childhood friend and smiled.

“Sansa, this is my wife Gilly.” He pointed to the pretty red head standing beside him and smiled, happiness beaming from his very eyes.

“Hello.” Gilly said shyly.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Sansa said warmly.

“We are getting gifts wrapped for the baby.” Sam said pointing to the bag of baby items in Gilly’s hands.

“I told him that Sam JR is still a baby he won’t care if it’s wrapped but he won’t listen to me.” Gilly said casting a side-glance at Sam.

“It’s Christmas. You’ve got to have presents wrapped at Christmastime. It’s tradition.” He brought one arm around her and squeezed.

“I suppose so.” She remarked with an eye roll.

“Look, Snow has a book for Jon she’s getting wrapped.” He nodded toward Snow. “What book is that anyway?”

“The Dornishman’s Guide to the Karma Sutra.” Snow remarked with a sly grin.

“Ahh, yes, well… that sounds… educational.” Sam stuttered out.

 

 

The girls all snickered at his obvious discomfort. The line for gift-wrapping was at a standstill, which left plenty of time for Sansa and Snow to flip through Gilly’s pictures of the baby. They giggled at the ones of Sam changing his son’s diaper with a terrified look on his face. Sam argued that it was more complicated then it looked which only caused them to laugh harder.

 

 

“How long have you and Sam known each other?” Gilly asked Sansa with a soft smile.

Sansa paused. “I think I was ten when his family moved next door. Jon hadn’t even moved in with us yet.”

“I remember he moved in right before Christmas.” Snow said thoughtfully. “Wasn’t he your first kiss?” She asked with sudden realization.

“It was hardly a kiss.” Sam said defensively.

Sansa laughed. “You tried to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation, when I didn’t need any!”

“Yeah, and your sister kicked me right in the family jewels because of it.” He shifted his stance as if remembering.

Gilly smiled. “I want to hear more about this story.”

Sansa looked at Gilly. “Are you sure? It’s just a silly story about puppies, a leg lamp, a bully, a fire and of course kissing.”

“I want to hear it again and I was there.” Snow winked and smiled.

 

Sansa smiled and began:

 

 

 

 

**Winterfell: Twelve Years Prior**

 

 

Sansa, Arya and Snow watched the moving vans pull up next door with a pair of Snow’s binoculars. They were hoping that the new family next door would have some children they could all play with. So far they had only seen one chubby little boy followed around by a shorter version wearing so many layers it didn’t look as if he could move his arms.

 

 

“We should go see if they want to play.” Arya whispered.

“Sounds like fun.” Snow said with a smile

“Sure.” Sansa was disappointed there didn’t seem to be any girls but it mother taught her anything it was that a lady is always polite to her neighbors.

 

 

 

Sansa made sure they stopped by the kitchen to ask their mother what sort of gift they should bring to the two boys next door to help them feel welcome. Her mother smiled and handed her a plate of freshly baked lemon cakes. Sansa cradled the plate like it was a precious baby. She suspected the chubby boy would enjoy the cakes but she also hoped he would share; they were her favorite after all.

 

 

She walked toward the boy and smiled politely. “Hello, my name is Sansa Stark and this is my younger sister Arya and this is Snow White. We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.”

“Pretty little bird, always chirping her courtesies.” Sansa saw the boys eyes widen as Sandor Clegane walked up behind her.

She sighed. “May I present Sandor Clegane?” He scoffed at her.

“Please…uhh…pleased to meet you. My name is… uhh…Sam.” The boy stuttered out. “Thank you.” He took the plate from Sansa and smiled.

“Lady Piggy, what have you got there?” The smaller boy they had seen appeared out of nowhere.

“Lady what?” Arya asked in disbelief.

“His names Lady’s Piggy, because he’s so fat.” The little boy laughed and snorted but no one was laughing with him.

“That’s not very nice.” Sansa said with a frown.

“I don’t even think it’s funny.” Arya remarked.

“It’s not even a clever nickname.” Snow said with an eye roll.

He looked at them frowning. “What would you know? You’re just a bunch of stupid girls!” He shot back angrily.

“Nobody talks to the little bird like that.” Sandor barked as he placed a protective hand on Sansa’s shoulder. At thirteen his face was already scarred up from a fire and he was nearly six feet tall.

The boy’s eyes went wide and he took a step back. “You can’t touch me or I’ll tell.”

“Umm, this is Dickon.” Sam said uncomfortably.

“Nice to meet ya, Dicky.” Snow said smugly.

“It’s Dickon.” He said angrily.

Arya laughed, taunting him. “Sticky Dicky is oh so picky!”

He stomped his foot. “Stop it!”

“What are you going to cry? Cry baby, cry!” Arya danced around him and laughed as Dickon ran away crying.

Sandor just barked a laugh and shook his head. “That’s a good one wolf bitch.”

“Sandor!” Sansa admonished his foul language. “Arya, that was rude. What will mother say?”

“Who cares?” Arya shrugged.

“Let’s go play Duck, Duck, Kraken, bring the lemon cakes.” Snow yelled before running off. They smiled and eagerly followed.

 

 

Sansa, Arya, Snow and Sam played together every day after that. Sandor would come and go but Dickon or Sticky Dicky as he was now called, was never invited. It didn’t stop him from trying though. No matter where they tried to hide he would always end up finding them and ruing their fun. Finally enough was enough and Arya came up with a _creative_ solution to their problem.

 

 

“Hey, Sticky Dicky.” Arya taunted one day.

“Shut up!” He said angrily.

“I promise I’ll stop calling you that if you stick your tongue to that pole over their.” She waved her little mitten hands to the light pole.

“Arya, this isn’t a good idea.” Sansa warned, shocked her sister would suggest such a thing.

“Absolutely not. His tongue will freeze off!” Sam yelled at Arya.

“Shut up Lady Piggy. It won’t freeze off.” He looked at Arya.

 “Of course it won’t freeze off.” Snow said solemnly. “I promise.”

“Do you promise to stop calling me names?” Dickon looked unsure.

“Arya, this is crazy. His tongue really will, freeze off.” Sansa tugged on her sister’s sweater.

“That’s just a myth.” Arya muttered. “Go ahead, Dicky. I _dare_ you”

 

 

Dickon held his tongue out and touched the pole. Then just like Sansa and Sam feared, it got stuck. He began screaming and flailing his arms. Arya ran off in a panic and Snow laughed until she saw Sansa’s face and agreed to go get help. Sam ran off to get his Dad, leaving her alone with a frantic Dickon. Sansa knew she would get blamed for this because she was the big sister. Her only recourse was to collapse and play dead in the snow. She wouldn’t be grounded if they thought she was dead right?

Sam turned around just in time to see her fall and jogged back through the snow collapsing on his knees beside her. She refused to move until he kissed her and pounded on her chest, she opened up her eyes and slapped him. Sandor came over as she was yelling her own made up obscenities at him. He took one look at Dickon and ripped him off the pole. He ran off crying and holding a bloody tongue when Sandor turned toward Sam and Sansa.

 

 

“What happened little Bird?” He asked sternly.

“He kissed me!” Sansa said angrily wiping off her mouth. “My first kiss was supposed to be special and he ruined it!” Sansa stared at Sam angrily.

"No, I was trying to save her!" Sam yelled with his hands up.

“You kissed my sister!” Arya yelled, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. She kicked Sam in the balls and smiled when he collapsed on his knees. The girls ran toward their home without looking back.

 

 

Sansa never spoke much to Sam after that. They certainly didn’t speak about the kiss or the kick. She supposed he was too scared of Arya and they naturally grew apart. Mr. Tarly gave Sandor a lamp in the shape of a lady’s leg as a thank you for saving his son. Sansa never really Sandor much after he received that lamp, he was a hero and was too big to play with little kids. The only thing she knew for certain was that he would buy big bottles of lotion and lock himself in his room with his curtains drawn. He must have had really dry skin.

 

 

Sansa had completely entertained her friends all the way to the front of the line. She smiled at Sam and saw a look of nostalgia pass through his eyes. Gilly smiled at them all.

 

 

“Why did you stop being friends with her?” She nudged Sam with her elbow.

“It wasn’t my fault.” Sam scoffed. “Sandor said if I didn’t leave his little bird alone he would make me disappear.”

“He did what?” Sansa asked surprised.

“I wonder how many boyfriends of yours he’s managed to scare away over the years.” Snow asked with a grin.

“I can’t believe he said that, and that you believed him.” She shook her head.

“You have to understand, he was huge.” Sam said with a frown.

“He still is.” Snow scoffed.

“We are having a party next week, why don’t you come. You can bring the baby.” Sansa smiled at Sam and Gilly.

“I don’t know.” Sam said softly. “Sandor still kind of scares me.”

“Oh nonsense. He’s had surgery to remove most of his scar tissue and you’ll see he really is a gentle giant.” She smiled.

“It does sound like fun.” Gilly said warmly.

“Jon and I will be there.” Snow said happily.

“Ygritte is also coming.” Sansa said staring warily at her friend.

Snow laughed. “I’m not jealous of Ygritte. Besides isn’t she dating that Tyrell girl?”

 

 

 

They finalized their plans and bid farewell. Sansa made a mental note to make sure Sandor behaved himself at the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter I will be posting is based off "It's a wonderful life."
> 
> http://youtu.be/ewe4lg8zTYA
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins a wonderful cameo
> 
> Hint: Obsession


	17. It's A Wonderful Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
> *Warning: Violence against pregnant women*  
>  
> 
> I dedicate this chapter to the great Tommyginger who helped plant some amazing ideas in my head
> 
>  
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

 

 

**Sansa/Stannis**

**“Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don’t need any characters around to give the joint “atmosphere.”**

**~Nick~**

 

 

 

Stannis left his office grinding his teeth. The deal with the Tyrells to save his company had gone south. Tywin Lannister had sensed the wounded Stag and came in for the kill. He called Stannis to inform him that his company would soon be under his control and there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop the takeover. Baratheon Industries had been family owned for over one hundred and fifty years. They had over a thousand employees in offices stretched across Westeros. What would become of them and their families? Gods, Sansa and little Davos, how could he ever face their sweet faces again? How could he ever explain any of this to his brothers? Everyone trusted him and he had failed them all.

 

_What have I done?_

 

 

He ordered Davos to take him to his brother’s penthouse straightaway, he offered no explanation as to why but thankfully his friend left him to his thoughts. His acid reflux was in full swing and he began munching on those disgusting Drogons Antacids that Sansa would always stuff in his pockets. After a brief elevator ride up he stepped out into Robert’s bachelor pad. His elder brother was currently drunk and in the midst of dry humping a vintage pinball machine while Renly appeared to be taking pictures of himself, shirtless on the couch.

 

_We are Baratheon’s and ours is the fury._

 

 

“What do you mean takeover?” Robert roared.

“As I explained—”

“Honestly Stan.” Renly muttered, still taking photos.

“My name is _Stannis_ , and if you were so concerned with the state of affairs you should show up to work once in a while instead of taking countless self-photos.”

“They’re called selfies.” Renly muttered.

“Selfies? Who the fuck cares about damned selfies? You’ve destroyed everything our father built, everything!” Robert punched him in the face. Stannis crashed into the wall behind him.

“What could have been so important that you let something like _this_ slip past you?” Renly remarked without helping him up.

“I believe I may be suffering the effects of sleep deprivation.” Little Davos has been suffering from colic and he and Sansa took turns walking him at night.

“You lost our company because of a crying baby?” Renly scoffed.

“Do us all a favor and go kill yourself. At least that way little Davos won’t have to grow up being ashamed to be your son.” Robert said darkly. Stannis felt like he had been stabbed through the heart.

Renly looked at Robert and smirked. “Good idea, Sansa would be better off without him anyway, he never deserved her or the baby.”

“You know deep down that she’s only with you because you knocked her up.” Robert looked at Stannis with disgust and stormed out of the room.

 

 

Stannis took a deep breath and left the penthouse dejectedly. He didn’t bother going back to the car. Davos would see his swollen jaw and disheveled shirt and know something was wrong. He knew he should head on home but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Home was his lighthouse, a beacon of safety amidst the storm of life. His brothers were right he didn’t deserve his beautiful family. They would all be better off without him.

His marriage wasn’t loveless; he loved Sansa deeply and he was truly happy. Sansa was the mother of his child; she had selflessly given him the greatest gift of his life. His son was a miracle and every time he held him his love only deepened. He could never understand why Sansa would ever settle for him. Perhaps she hadn’t settled, perhaps she was simply stuck with him because of the baby. When Sansa cried and told him she was pregnant Stannis had assumed they were tears of joy. Now he wasn’t so sure, they were probably tears of sadness.

He looked around and realized he had wandered onto the old Mad King’s Bridge. He stopped on the snow covered bridge and looked over the edge, it was a long way down. If he jumped he figured The Stranger would find him quickly. At least he would never have to see the sadness in Sansa’s beautiful blue eyes or his son growing up ashamed of the Baratheon name. If he did this them Sansa would be free to find true happiness. His son could have the kind of father he deserved, one who was brave, gentle and strong.

 

_The world would’ve been better off if I was never born._

 

 

 

“You don’t really believe that do you?”

 

Stannis looked around and did a double take as he witnessed a man approaching him who looked an awful lot like the deceased Ned Stark.

 

“A man is entitled to his own thoughts and opinions.” Stannis remarked, grinding his teeth. “I hardly seem why that would matter to you.”

“Of course it matters. You’re my good-son.” The stranger that looked like Ned came closer and Stannis was startled to see that he _was_ Ned.  

“I watched you die, I held Sansa at your funeral.” Stannis gritted out. “This isn’t possible.”  

“My body died, but the soul lives on forever. A father never leaves his children.He's always with them, even if they can't see him.” Ned answered with sadness in his eyes.

“That may be, but why are you here?” Stannis asked annoyed. The last thing he wanted to do was spend his final moments on Westeros speaking with a ghost.

“I’m here to show you what life would be like without you in it.” Ned clapped him on the back and Stannis’s jaw finally stopped hurting.

 

 

Ned walked toward the city lights whistling a Christmas carol and Stannis had to jog to keep up. Everything looked the same and Stannis didn’t notice any notable changes except that when they turned the corner he could see that Davos and his car were no longer waiting for him. He thought for a moment that they may be heading back up to Robert’s penthouse but they turned toward the park.

Stannis remembered taking Renly to this park when he was younger. Renly would always beg him to push him higher in the swings. Ned stopped in front of a bronze statue of a little boy holding a bucket and shovel. He turned on the flashlight and cast the beams over the dedication plaque.

 

 

**In memory of Renly Baratheon.**

 

 

“What happened?” Stannis whispered. This didn’t make any sense his brother was _alive._

“When Renly was three years old he fell off your fathers speed boat and no one noticed, he drowned a week before Christmas.” Ned said solemnly.

“No, he didn’t drown. I saw him fall out and I alerted father before I jumped in the water to rescue him. We celebrated Christmas together as a family on fathers yacht.” Stannis looked at Ned as if he was an idiot.

“You don’t understand yet, but you will.” Ned said calmly before turning off his light and walking back toward the park entrance.

 

 

They walked another block towards Mother’s Mercy Hospital. Stannis followed Ned into the emergency room as an ambulance pulled up. The paramedics were franticly performing CPR on man covered in blood. Stannis looked at his dazed face and felt his heart drop. It was none other than his best friend Davos.

 

 

“That can’t be Davos. It’s not possible,” Stannis remarked feeling ill.

“It _is_ Davos. Without you giving him a second chance, he never left his life of crime. He was shot eight times tonight, he’ll live but he’ll never walk again.”

 

 

Ned walked past the hospital and headed toward the Florent Connivance Store, Stannis followed after only turning once to see his best friend being rushed inside. He almost tripped over a large homeless man sprawled out next to a garbage can. He smelled like piss and vomit and Stannis held his breath. Ned nudged Stannis and he realized he was looking at Robert.

 

 

“With or without me, my brother would never willingly live on the streets.” Stannis said defensively.

“Wrong again, without you to hold the company together Robert lost everything. He may hold the title of CEO but he’s never worked a day in his life.” Ned looked at his drunken friend sadly.

“Take me to Sansa. I wish to see her.” Stannis said desperately. He needed to know she was all right.

“Be careful what you wish for.” Ned remarked sadly.

 

 **************************************************************************************************************

They walked past the Florent Connivance Store and he pointed to the parking lot out back. He saw Sansa pressed against a streetlamp looking terrified. She was holding a hand protectively over her pregnant belly while Joffrey Lannister screamed obscenities at her. Margaery Tyrell was standing off to the side looking uncomfortable but not lending any assistance.

 

 

“You fucking cunt! You thought you could just follow me and I wouldn’t notice?” He slapped Sansa who began sobbing. Stannis wanted to run over to his wife but Ned held him back with an iron grip.

“Joffrey please.” Sansa cried out as he punched her in the stomach.

“Yes, to answer your question, I am fucking your best friend. We’ve been fucking for a while now. She even gave me a blowjob at our _wedding_.” Joffrey kicked Sansa and she fell to the ground on all fours.

“Why?” She was holding her belly and Stannis screamed her name and she turned her name and looked at him curiously before Joffrey punched her in the head.

“Why? Because I can.” He pulled her hair back forcing her to look up at him. “I only married you for one reason and one reason only. So you could give me proper heirs. If you loose another one of my children I will pay Meryn to kill you and make it look like an accident.” Joffrey kicked Sansa one more time in the stomach before hopping into his sports car with Margaery and driving away.

 

 

Ned let Stannis go and he fled to his beautiful broken wife. She was crying and holding her stomach, he saw blood trickling down her leg. _Gods the baby._

 

“Please help me.” She mumbled before passing out. Her face was black and blue and her jaw looked dislocated.

“Sansa!” He pulled out his phone to dial emergency services but it was missing. “You have to help her!” He glared at Ned.

“I am helping her.” Ned said as he stroked her beautiful red hair caked in blood. “Merry Christmas Stannis.” With that he punched Stannis in the jaw and disappeared.

 

 

Stannis head was spinning and he could have sworn he heard Davos shouting his name and shaking him. He opened his eyes and realized he was lying on the bridge looking up at the night sky with snow falling softly down.

 

 

“Davos?” He looked at his friend and gave a half smile, happy to see him alive and well.

“Stannis, praise the gods! When you didn’t come back I got worried. I went up to your brothers and they told me what happened. I called Sansa she’s frantic.” Stannis sat up abruptly.

“Take me home.” Davos helped him up and drove him home in silence at a dangerous speed.

 

 

Stannis didn’t know what Sansa would say but it didn’t matter he needed to hold his wife and son and never let them go. He ran into his house and saw a worried Sansa sitting on the piano bench holding their son. The look on her face would be permanently engraved into his memory. He dropped to his knees in front of her and placed his forehead on hers. He picked up his son and held him looking into his beautiful blue eyes and dark hair.

Sansa hugged Davos and thanked him for finding her husband. Stannis looked around his home and finally noticed that Tyrion, Varys and Shorty were sitting at his table in deep discussion with an open bottle of expensive wine and a spread of caviar and toast points. Robert and Renly were sitting quietly on kitchen stools looking quite miserable drinking from bottled water and picking at peanut butter sandwiches.

 

 

“Welcome home my love.” She said as she kissed him softly before slapping him. “Don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“Sansa, I’m so sorry.” His voice threatened to crack as waves of emotions crashed through him. He shut his mouth quickly to avoid embarrassment.

“Robert told me what happened with Tywin.” She waved toward his brother who looked at him with a face full of guilt. “He also told me what he and Renly said to you.” She glared at both his brothers and Stannis actually saw them shiver under her icy gaze.

“It’s my fault we’ve lost the company.” Stannis said as he shifted his son to his other arm. Baby Davos kept trying to place his pacifier in his mouth.

“Yes it is.” She said it with clarity. “That’s why I have to fire you.” She looked at his jaw and handed him a small bag of ice.

“You can’t fire me.” Stannis said bemusedly, you’re not on the board.

“Actually as the majority shareholder of Lannister Gold & Trust, I can.” She smiled at him. “Do you remember when Tywin had that stroke a few years back and Cersei took over her fathers company and began selling off chunks to pay off her debts?” She looked at him with a sly smile.

“You bought the shares?” He asked surprised, his son was now patting his eyes.

“Gods, no! How much money do you think I have?” She looked amused. “Tyrion bought them of course. Tywin was furious at Cersei but as long as the company shares stayed in the family it didn’t really matter.”

“So how did you get a hold of them?” He asked her curious to see where this is going.

“Well today Tyrion caught his father sleeping with his whore of a fiancé, Shae. He was upset and I’ve been cheering him up all day. When we learned about the deal going south he sold me the shares for the bargain price of forty gold dragons.” She held out her hands and took their son back with a smile.

“You bought the majority of Tywin’s company for forty gold dragons?” When he first met Sansa she was a sweet girl. Under his guidance she had turned into a ruthless businesswomen. Stannis had never been so turned on in his life.

“Do you think I paid too much?” She winked at him. “It was everything I had in my purse.”

“You are an amazing red wolf.” She looked at him strangely when he said that but said nothing regarding it.

“Stannis, you failed at being Vice President.” His shoulders slumped slightly. Her hand held his face softly. “So I am recommending you for the position of CEO. I don’t want you to balance two jobs; I simply want you to have one. Of course I will need to conduct an interview before I make any final decisions.”

 

 

She handed baby Davos to big Davos and took Stannis by the tie. He followed her leave toward his office. Once inside he dropped the ice and locked the door. He helped her out of her dress kissing her neck as he did. While standing behind her he pulled her in tightly as she ground her ass against him. He traced his fingers over her smooth mound; he always enjoyed the feel of her silk panties while they were still on her body. He heard her whimper as he traced the outline of her nipples with his thumb he could feel them poke out beneath the fabric of her bra.

Stannis scooped her into his arms and kissed her before draping her body delicately across his desk. He never took his eyes away from hers as he used his teeth to remove her panties. She uttered a small gasp as he wet his lips hungrily and explored her slender legs with his lips. He watched her close her eyes and brace the desk as she became wet for him. His cock began to pulse with excitement but he pushed it into the back

 

 

“Mrs. Baratheon, I assume this interview will be oral?” He said seriously.

“You assume correctly, Mr. Baratheon.” She replied breathlessly.

 

 

Stannis separated her legs and inhaled her scent of arousal. He opened up the bag of crushed ice he had set down and put a few pieces on his tongue. He carefully flicked his cold tongue across her mound. She shrieked and squirmed but he continued exploring her sex his cool tongue. As the ice melted against her heat he began sucking on her pearl. Sansa arched her back and begged for more. It took a great deal of effort to concentrate on her and ignore the desire that was building in his pants. When she finally screamed for his cock he was more than happy to comply.

 

 

A good employee always listens to the boss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on the the film "Elf" 
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins an elf like cameo!!!!!!
> 
> Hint: No hint! I want you to tell me who you picture wearing those glorious tights XD


	18. Elf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
>  
> 
> So this story is about Elf expect many, many Christmas euphemisms. 
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry this is late! My family demanded my attention... DEMANDED IT I TELL YOU ;)
> 
> So considering it is now JANUARY who's up for some belated Christmas magic? I know I am! .....*looks around before chuckling nervously*.....

**Sansa/Sandor**

 

**“He’s an angry elf.”**

**~Buddy~**

 

 

The conference room was cold and Sandor sat holding Sansa’s hand. His Little Bird’s hair was braided and she was wearing a lovely green dress that he couldn’t wait to tear off with his teeth when they were alone. How he got so lucky as to have such a beautiful elf claim him he’d never know. Being banished from the North Pole was the greatest thing that had ever happened. They had sent him away because he lacked Christmas cheer, _well I found some the minute she polished my candy cane with that perfect tongue of hers._

Last night had been the greatest night of his life. Even if he had rolled over on her hair, broken her antique lamp and only lasted for four thrusts before spilling all his Christmas snow. He may not have been exactly on his A-game due to the fact that they had been drinking a lot Blackfish Beer all night long. She invited him up to her apartment to frost some cookies naked. A good elf _never_ turns down an invitation like that.

Instead of being disappointed with his performance his perfect Little Bird merely kissed him and promised him that all they needed was a bit of practice. He had searched her face for any sign of regret but he found none. What he found instead was skin that smelled like lemon cake and lips that tasted sweeter than gumdrops. She had claimed him with her body and he if he died tomorrow he knew he would die a happy man.

He wondered if she would still claim him if she could see the scars on his face his brother had given him. Santa had removed them of course, _it was the least the old man could do._ Even though they were gone he could still feel them on the inside of his soul. Some nights he would wake up in a panic hearing his brother’s laughter as his face melted off. All over some fucking toy. His Little Bird must have sensed him tensing up because she kissed him on the cheek and instantly the fire that was building inside extinguished.

 

 

Theon _Killjoy_  came stomping into the room. “You two are going to regret this.” He motioned to the towel he was holding over his disfigured nose.

“Oh poor, poor, Theon. Does the squid have a boo-boo?” His Little Bird said with a glaring smirk. _Gods, she’s beautiful when she’s angry._ Theon glared back and focused winced as he touched his precious nose.

 

 

Sandor watched Sansa carefully as she picked tinsel out of her hair and smoothed her skirt. _Fussy little bird._ No one could tell by looking at her that she had been in a fight not twenty minutes before, he was almost sad to see her out of her hot little elf uniform. He thought it accentuated her cupcakes quite nicely. Sandor’s own elf uniform was still torn, his well-defined pectoral muscles showing underneath, a fact that wasn’t lost in the hungry eyes of his Little Bird. She slid her hands over his tights and his candy cane jumped eagerly in response. Sansa Stark had the angelic look of someone who belonged on the nice list but his she had a naughty side that drove him wild.

It was a shame Ramsay Bolton and his useless friends had been taken away in an ambulance. He would’ve killed that prick then and there but his little bird stayed his hand by pointing out all the terrified children. For the first time in a long time he felt ashamed, it was apart of the elf code to avoid violence in front of children. He thought he had chased away his Little Bird with his violent outburst but she simply pointed out some of Ramsey’s teeth on the ground before kissing him in a lust filled craze. She was attracted to the danger and he loved her just a little bit more because of it.

 

 

“Sandor, your knuckles.” She picked up his hand and kissed his knuckles with perfectly pink lips. His Little Bird had lips that needed to be kissed under a hundred different varieties of mistletoe.

“It’s nothing this scarred old dog can’t handle.” He said gruffly as he felt her cool lips brush against his skin. His mind instantly flashed to last night when she had kissed and licked his jingle balls so softly that it nearly drove him to madness.

“Gods, Is there an elf you haven’t fucked yet Sansa?” Theon spat at Sansa with venom in his voice. Sandor stood up so quickly his chair toppled over. The boy’s eyes widened as Sandor glowered at him.

“Funny I was going to say the same thing to you.” An attractive woman with black hair, a designer dress and stiletto heels entered the room. Sandor righted his chair and sat down slowly.

“Shut up Kitty.” Theon said grumpily.

“What did you say?” Kitty gripped Theon’s face violently, digging her perfectly manicured nails into his flesh.

“Nothing.” Theon replied utterly emasculated.

“That’s what I thought.” Kitty said smugly before casting an amused look in Sandor’s direction. “Who do we have here?”

“Kitty this is Sandor Clegane, he’s the new guy. She held Sandor’s hand tight as if she was afraid to be separated from him. “Sandor this is Kitty Baelish, she’s the head of security.” He squeezed her hand a reassurance that he would burn the world down before he _ever_ allowed them to be parted.

“A pleasure.” The woman said coolly taking her seat next to Theon who seemed to shrink in her mere vicinity. “Before I forget, thank you so much for the lemon cakes, Sansa. They were delicious.” The woman smiled warmly at his Little Bird who beamed back.

 

 

The oak doors opened and he looked over in surprise as a dwarf in a nice suit entered. He walked over to the head of the table and climbed into his chair before taking out a flask and taking a swig. He offered it to everyone at the table; they all politely declined except for Sandor. He slid the flask over and Sandor took an equally generous swig before sliding it back.

 

 

“Are we all here?” The dwarf asked briskly.

“Not quite.” Kitty said, her mouth barley concealing an amused look. The dwarf sighed and rubbed his face.

“Tyrion I’m here, don’t start without me.” Another attractive redhead came into the room wearing a sharp black pantsuit and clutching a rather large colorful bag at her side.

“Clara, you’re late.” Tyrion said through his hands.

“Well, excuse me Mr. Lannister.” She remarked sarcastically. “If you recall I am new mother and I need to pump my breasts when they get full. Would you prefer that I do it here in the conference room?” She was glaring at the dwarf who shifted uncomfortably.

“Gods, no.” He stammered out.

“Careful lion, she might release Drogo on you.” Kitty said with a smirk.

“It’s not Drogo he needs to fear.” Clara leaned forward and gave Tyrion a dangerous smile.

“Fine, I give up, you all win.” He looked around at the room and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. Look, you even turned my ex-wife against me.” He gestured toward Sansa who winked back at him.

 

 

Sandor felt his guts twist. The Little Bird had been married before? Elf law dictated that every time a female elf chose a new mate, her _chosen_ had to execute the past lover. If the elves were of the same gender then they each had to kill each other’s past lover. Santa Claus said the policy was to promote fidelity among the otherwise promiscuous elves. Sandor thought the policy was a tad excessive but said nothing. _Not my place to question Santa._

 

“Tyrion, I was five years old when we married in my sandbox. I hardly think a play wedding counts as the real thing.” His Little Bird laughed at the half man and Sandor relaxed. He wouldn’t have to kill the dwarf after all.

“Still, you will always be my favorite ex-wife.” The dwarf smiled at her fondly, which caused Sandor to wonder if he should kill the man preemptively. He didn’t like possible threats.

“It’s because she’s your only ex-wife who didn’t take you to the cleaners.” Clara said with a laugh.

“Maybe I should’ve asked for some spousal support.”’ His Little Bird added with her own laugh. Sandor clenched his fist, only he was supposed to make her laugh like that.

“Can we please just get on with it? Congratulations Sansa you have proved once again that you’re the biggest whore in Santa’s workshop.” Theon was glaring at his Little Bird and Sandor let out a warning growl.

 

 

In one motion Kitty Baelish slammed Theon’s head into the table causing him to cry out in pain as blood exploded from his nose. She whispered something in his ear and Sandor watched the bastard visibly pale before quieting down. Kitty smiled sweetly at him and resumed her a calm and cool demeanor. Sandor knew a predator when he saw one and he knew this was _not_ a woman to be crossed.

 

 

“Kitty Baelish you’re my hero.” His Little Bird said with a smile on her face.

“It’s just a little trick my husband taught me.” Kitty responded with a genuine smile before all the women nodded.

“Remind me to stay on your good side.” Tyrion said taking another swig from his flask before Kitty plucked it away from him. The dwarf sighed but otherwise did not resist.

“Would you two like to explain to me _why_ three people were hospitalized and _why_ we have a Santa here with a broken nose?” Clara gestured toward Theon.

“He’s not Santa.” Sandor said firmly, he hated liars and a man pretending to be Santa was the worst kind of liar there was.

“No he’s not.” Tyrion said in agreement. “I know! Lets watch the video footage. I could watch this hilarious fight all day long.”

 

 

Kitty hit a hidden button on the table and the lights dimmed before a projector dropped from the ceiling. Although the footage was a little grainy he could see that it started when he and his Little Bird arrived for work. They clocked in and immediately began kissing next to the Christmas tree display. His hands were wandering up her elf skirt and he realized that as he was watching the footage, his own hand was currently wandering up Sansa’s dress.

The footage showed Theon wandering over and yanking his Little Bird away from him before wildly gesturing between the two of them. Sandor’s blood boiled, no one pulled his Little Bird away from him and lived. _No one._ The front doors must have opened because shoppers filled the store and Theon stomped off angrily. More elves assumed their roles behind the gift-wrapping station and went about their buisness.

 

 

"What did Theon say to you?" Tyrion asked softly.

"He said that if I continue to act like a whore no one would want me." His Little Bird glared at Theon and Sandor clenched his hands into fists.

Everyone stared at Theon who merely shrugged. "She acts like a whore, she goes around flirting and when you politely point it a fight breaks out."

"He asked you out and you turned him down didn't you." Clara said wisely. Sansa nodded and all the women glared at Theon with renewed venom.

“Where on earth did you learn to wrap like that?” Kitty asked amazed. The tape showed that he already had a pile of gift wrapped boxes on front of him while it was clear to see that Sansa was struggling with her first one.

“The North Pole. Elder Brother Elf taught me.” Sandor said solemnly. He would never admit it, but sometimes he missed the old man.

"It wasn't Santa Claus?" Theon said sarcastically. Gods how Sandor wanted to rip his face off.

"No, that would be beneath him." Sandor rolled his eyes at the obviousness of it all.

Sansa giggled and looked at him. “You always make me laugh.” Sandor had no idea what he could have said that was so funny but he was glad he did. The Little Bird’s smile emboldened him to slide his hand up past her garter belt.

 

 

Kitty fast-forwarded the tape until Ramsay and his friends arrived. Sandor’s hand stilled when the site of that creep and his friends filled the screen. His Little Bird merely slid his hand until it was flush against her Christmas satchel. Her satin panties felt like heaven. He carefully hooked a finger inside and slid it against her folds. Her face remained impassive the only hint that anything was happening was the hint of a small smile.

The screen showed Ramsay harassing the other female elves while Sansa appeared to ignore him. Theon showed up next pretending to be Santa Claus. _Abomination._ The tape showed Sandor walking over to Theon and exchanging a few words before ripping off his stupid fake beard. He could see the kids start to scream and he almost felt bad again except Sansa slightly rocked against his hand and he could feel moisture in her panties. He began rubbing harder.

 

 

“Theon, what did Sandor say before he ripped off the beard?” Tyrion asked in an amused voice as he paused the tape.

“He said that I smelled like beer and cheese and that I sat on a throne of lie. He’s as crazy as that bitch.” He pointed at Sansa who said nothing but guided Sandor’s fingers into her panties.

“Hush.” Kitty barked before slapping Theon in the back of the head with her hand. He whimpered as Tyrion pressed play again.

 

 

Sandor watched himself pick up the beard and a nearby microphone shaking the fake beard in front of the terrified children and announcing that the man was a fraud. That’s when Theon decided to tackle him into the Christmas tree knocking it down. His Little Bird tore the bastard off before landing a perfectly placed roundhouse kick to his nose breaking it. Kitty chuckled at the sight of Theon curled into a ball sobbing while sucking his thumb. He loved seeing his Little Bird kick ass, she had beautiful form and he wondered briefly who her teacher was. His finger found her sweet sugar plumb and began stimulating it while she white knuckled the conference table.

During the ensuing commotion on the tape they watched as Ramsay jumped the velvet ropes and ripped open the front of his Little Bird’s uniform. Sandor recalled going ballistic punching and pummeling the boy and all his friends until they were all lying on the ground in unmoving heaps. Seeing it was another thing, he wished he had the foresight to record all his fights. His Little Bird said nothing as he slipped a finger deep inside her, he watched with interest as she closed her eyes rock her head backward.

 

 

“Well, I think I’ve seen all I need to.” Tyrion announced. Sandor thought he was talking about the tape but the dwarf was looking at them. The lights flickered on and Sandor regretfully withdrew his hand.

“Theon, you’re not fired but you’ll be reassigned to janitorial duties.” Theon looked like he was about to protest until Kitty sent him a warning glance. “Sansa I’m promoting both you and Sandor.” With that Tyrion hopped off the chair and made his way out.

“Wait! You’re promoting them?” Theon seethed. “Why?”

“Because, it will piss off your father.” Tyrion said contentedly.

"This is outrageous! You're nothing but an overgrown elf!" Theon spat furiously.

Tyrion leaned forward. "You feeling strong my friend? Call me "elf" one more time." Theon swallowed and settled down defeated.

“As your lawyer I am herby notifying you that my rates will be increasing every time I have to field a phone call from anyone named Bolton or Greyjoy.” Clara threatened. Tyrion merely nodded and left a smile clearly visible on his face.

 

 

Later that night his Little Bird screamed his name in the shower as he thrust his candy cane inside her. She was so fucking tight and wet and the dog that he was loved her for it. Her back was pressed against the cool tile as he greedily licked the water droplets off her smooth creamy cupcakes. He made sure to swirl his tongue over her perky cherry toppings. She moaned his name breathlessly in response. _Gods, what a beautiful song she sings._

He fucked her hard and fast in that shower, every thrust bringing his Little Bird closer and closer to her peak. His muscles rippled under the strain of the angle and when he felt her body tremble as her Christmas satchel clenched around his candy cane. She looked at him with her perfect lust filled eyes causing him to loose his avalanche then and there. He roared as he spilled his fucking snow in her and he did it with a gods-damned smile on his face.

 

She was still drying off seductively when her phone rang. She answered it then looked at him curiously before placing one hand over it.

 

 

“It’s for you. He says his name is Santa Claus?” He took the phone with a sigh.

“Hello father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next short will be based on White Christmas....errr White January? 
> 
> http://youtu.be/3n3-UtakD3I
> 
> The first person to coreectly guess the pairing will win a wintery cameo! Oooooooh 
> 
> Hint: Omega, Bvlgari, Bulova, Tissot, Citizen


	19. White Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow. 
> 
>  
> 
> There have been a lot of deaths on GOT but Grenn's death at least for me was the most heroic. 
> 
>  
> 
> http://youtu.be/UtI7-aLhn8Y
> 
>  
> 
> Also who knew that underneath that bushy ginger beard lay the face of such a HOTTIE?
> 
> *fans self*

****

**Sansa/Grenn**

 

 

 

**“How can a guy THAT ugly have the nerve to have sisters?”**

**~Phil Davis~**

**“Very brave parents I guess.”**

**~Bob Wallace~**

 

 

 

 

The lights in the auditorium dimmed and Sansa’s heart became to thrum a bit harder as the notes from the orchestra filled the air. She took a deep breath clear her head and steady her nerves. Tonight would be her debut as a principle dancer with the Casterly Rock Ballet Company. It was a dream she had ever since she was a child and her father took her to see The Nutcracker. He fell asleep before the first act was over but Sansa was enchanted, she knew that one day she too would dance onstage like a beautiful princess.

She had begged her parents for lessons and dedicated every waking hour to perfecting her craft. When she was ten and four she was accepted to the Vale Ballet Academy. The dancing world was cutthroat and competitive; she once caught Margaery Tyrell slipping laxatives into her drink before an audition. Sansa wasn’t stupid and had wisely switched the drinks when her ‘friends’ back was turned. It was all worth it to see the traitor shit her white leotard during a life. Tutu Tyrell instantly became Poo-Poo Tyrell.

At ten and eight she had auditioned for the Casterly Rock Ballet Company. Tywin Lannister the old lion himself auditioned her three times before she was accepted. Each audition became steadily more difficult with intricate dance moves and each audition was flawless. She knew he was pushing her, testing her and she rose to the challenge. He wanted to break her so he could rebuild her in his image but he had underestimated her. For she was a Stark of Winterfell and she was made of steel.

Sansa should have foreseen the consequences of her defiance. She was just a stupid girl with stupid dreams at the time. Her folly had placed her directly in the path of Tywin Lannister’s ire and lust. Someone once told her there was a fine line between love and hate, the old lion didn’t experience love but she had seen his arousal in her presence, particularly when she was in the midst of stretching. Some dancers slept their way to the top; Tywin wouldn’t sleep with her until she reached the top and here she was. She had already undergone his grooming her for the inevitable.

She had a personal chef, a stylist, a publicist and a nutritionist. All bought and paid for by the lion himself. He had slowly isolated her from friends, family and anyone else who might distract her from dancing or from _him_. Tonight after the performance she would accompany him home and join him in bed. He hadn’t asked her if it was what she _wanted_ he simply expected it of her. She had the option of course of refusing him and walking away, he also had the option of turning everything she had worked so hard for to ash.

 

 

 

 

The White Christmas Ballet had begun and she watched with pride as Kalys Karstark performed a lovely solo. Her friend had weak ankles that prevented her from advancing to the position of principle dancer but her height and natural grace made her a beautiful soloist. The sight of Kalys performing a beautiful Sissonnes with Bronn was Sansa’s favorite part of the entire ballet. Asha Greyjoy made her entrance and the two women performed perfectly synchronized Seven Double and one Triple Fouettes en Tournant. Her best friend was in the midst of an interesting love triangle between Asha and Bronn and Sansa wasn’t the only one who noticed, it seemed the entire company was watching the drama closely.

She looked across the stage and her deep blue eyes met a pair of dark stoic ones. Grenn was her partner both on and off stage and he was also the only male Sansa was allowed to be around un-chaperoned. Possibly because Tywin was under the delusion that he was gay. A lie that Cersei was told when she wouldn’t take no for an answer and one she happily reported to her father. Cersei’s vanity accepted the deceit without question and she happily spread the gossip around. Only Tyrion suspected the truth but thankfully he said nothing.

It had all started out innocently enough. Grenn’s hands would linger a bit to long on her waist after a lift. In response she would rest her head against his shoulder after a particularly grueling day. He was always ready with a bag of ice for her bruised and bloody feet and she always brought enough lunch for two. Their first kiss had been a result of being trapped inside a utility closet. They made love for the first time in the backseat of his car during thunderstorm. It was an ominous sign of things to come and she should have headed the warning.

Their love affair was dangerous and forbidden. They both knew it would end in tragedy but tragedy was something all ballet dancers were intimate with. If Tywin ever felt so much a hint of duplicity they wouldn’t be the only ones that paid the price. Years ago the old lion had a lover that left the ballet company for rival dance company Castamere Elite. The girl hadn’t sought permission first and Tywin wasn’t a forgiving man. He had thrown her out of his life while single handedly destroying the company and tarnishing the reputation of all the board members. Tywin had every single dancer blacklisted and his ex-lover had killed herself.

What would he do when he found out the new object of his desire had a secret lover? Not only was she sleeping with Grenn but she was in love with him as well. It was an unforgivable sin, but she refused to be repentant. She had given her heart freely to a good man, someone who was brave, gentle and strong. Grenn It might be a cliché but she loved walking on the beach with him discussing Targaryen Philosophy and Bravosi literature. Grenn wasn’t eloquent with words but he had the truest heart of any man she had ever known save her father.

 

 

 

 

It was now the fourth act, the part in the ballet where the soldier is reunited with the love of his life and the vow to never part again. How this made her heart ache, how her soul cried out at the injustice and how her face never betrayed her inner turmoil. She was a Stark of Winterfell and she could be strong. Tywin Lannister controlled them, the music directed them, muscle memory commanded them but it was true love that filled them. Grenn perfectly executed The Butterfly before he joined her for a beautiful Arabesque lift. Two dancers performed The Cheshire Cat Lift on stage, two dancers with one heart.

The audience gave them a standing ovation and Tywin presented her with five-dozen blood red roses. She smiled as she accepted them wishing they were the simple bouquet of Blue Winter Roses Grenn had given her earlier. Her family greeted her backstage and she kissed and hugged them all. It had been so long since she had seen any of them that she openly wept. Tyrion escorted her to her dressing room where Grenn was waiting for her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and stared at her with imploring eyes that tore her apart.

Tywin came in and Grenn’s hand stayed on her waist a fraction to long. The old lion shifted a stony glare at the two principle dancers as a vain pulsed on his head. _He knew._ Grenn shielded her when Tywin lunged forward. The lion collided with her love before clutching his heart and collapsing onto the floor. Sansa knelt beside him while Grenn fumbled around looking for a phone, that’s when they heard Tyrion brace his body against the door shutting it.

Tyrion locked the door and stared at his father who was clutching his chest with malice. Even as he lay dying Tywin matched the gaze before turning his fury to Sansa, he loathed her, hated her it was written on his face plain as day. If he ever got a hold of her she would beg for death before the end. Sansa found the courage to cast her eyes away and glanced helplessly between Grenn and Tyrion. This was murder. If they let him die they would be bound together as killers and the seven hells surely awaited them.

Mother grant her mercy she turned away from the choking Lannister patriarch and into Grenn’s arms. He hummed a Dornish lullaby in her ear to drown out the gasps of a dying wicked man while she shook like a frightened child. It took longer than she thought for the man to die and when she finally looked down she knew the spirit of great lion had departed only leaving behind his carcass. He was staring at the ceiling his face twisted in agony and his fists clenched in anger. Here lay Tywin Lannister, the man who terrified them, a man who had committed heinous acts and yet, this was the same man that had pushed them all to greatness. Sansa wept.

 

 

Later that night Sansa lay in Grenn’s arms, their naked bodies intertwined. Two hearts, safely beating as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'The Santa Clause'
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing wins an awesome cameo! may the force be with you :)
> 
> Hint: Like father like son.
> 
> Hint 2: An ugly death.


	20. The Santa Clause

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

**Sansa/Jory **

**“Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing.”**

**~Little Elf Judy~**

 

 

 

 

“Sansa, you look beautiful.” Her fiancé smiled warmly at he as he placed a hand on her lower back.

“Thank you, Jory. You don’t think this dress is a bit too revealing?” She casually accentuated the sweetheart neckline of her strapless emerald colored dress. His eyes drifted to her cleavage.

“Not for the future Mrs. Cassel.” He whispered in her ear sending shivers down her spine.

“Don’t you mean the future Mrs. Claus?” She studied his face and saw doubt flash across his features.

“Am I really the best choice? Your father was the greatest Santa the North has ever known. What legacy will I leave behind?” He looked over her shoulder unable to meet her gaze.

“The Santa Clause dictates that only a person of a true and honest nature can hold the mantle of St. Nick. There is no one in the North more qualified than you.” She held his hand and squeezed gently.

“He should have named you.” He began smiling at her until he saw the frown forming in her features.

“That’s not funny. The fact that a Santa Claus must be male is outdated and sexist. Father couldn’t have named me heir even if he wanted to. The Elves would rebel and civil war would break out.” She shook her head, now was not the time for this.

“I’m sorry my love. I know it’s a sensitive issue for you.” He wrapped his arms around her and her muscles relax in his touch. “Once I put on the suit I will have less time to spend with you.” He kissed her bare shoulder.

“Then let’s make the most of this moment.” She gave him a seductive smile before he grasped her hand and drew her toward the stairs.

 

 

The great marbled steps of Winterfell were magnificent, each step was hand carved and polished until it looked like glass however they were moving to quickly to appreciate the architecture. They passed by Tanya Martell and Rhaegar Targaryen kissing on the bottom step under shimmering mistletoe. The Dragon King’s hands were moving across her swollen belly of his Queen. She was carrying triplets and Sansa had never seen her look more beautiful and elegant then she did on the stairs in the arms of her true love.

 

 

“Getting ideas?” Jory chuckled softly until Sansa bit her lip and nodded. He turned ghostly white before Sansa let out her own giggle.

“We will have beautiful babies one day but not today.” He looked slightly relieved and a tad bit disappointed.

“Do you have any idea where we’re going?” He asked is loud whisper.

“No.” She whispered back loudly.

“It’s called The Christmas Room.” He looked at her trying to hide a mischievous smile.

“I thought it was a myth.” She said a confused smile.

“It’s no myth and it’s been completely remodeled for our pleasure.” He pulled her down a darkened hallway she had never seen before. “It’s one of the perks of being Santa.”

 

 

At the end of the hall a thick red velvet curtain hung illuminated by twinkling lights. He pushed the curtain aside and she stepped through. She stopped when she came face to face with a beautiful golden mirror. He held her hand and she rested her head on his shoulder staring at their reflections. She wondered what they would like old and grey but she knew in the end it didn’t matter as long as they had each other. She gasped as he pulled her through the mirror.

 

 

“What? How?” Sansa was bewildered when she turned to see the passage where they came from it had disappeared. He chuckled and pushed her hand through the wall. She could feel cold air hit it before she withdrew it.

“Welcome to The Christmas Room.” He gestured around the lavish room and Sansa cautiously began looking around.

 

 

In the center of the bedroom was a large sleigh bed with red satin sheets and feathered pillows. There was a roaring fireplace that lent the room a warm and cozy feeling. She found a walk-in closet full of lingerie, designer shoes and colorful accessories. She walked into a marbled bathroom with a giant claw foot tub and an extensive collection of various body oils and edible lotions.

Sansa walked out of the bathroom and found herself drawn to a large chest. She opened the lid before shutting it quickly with a blush. It was filled to the brim with _toys_. A chocolate fountain caught her attention in the corner and she noticed the room also had a well stocked bar. Jory hadn’t taken his eyes off her as if weighing her reaction heavily. Sansa turned her back to him and took a deep breath before glancing back over her shoulder.

 

 

“Could you help me with my zipper?” He was by her side in an instant.

“As my lady commands.” She felt her zipper slide down the track and his mouth kissing a searing hot trail down her spine.

 

 

She stepped out of her gown wearing only panties, a matching garter belt with silk stocking and designer pumps. Her dress made it impossible to wear a braw and the cold air rushed across her breasts causing her pink nipples to harden accordingly. She bent down slowly, taking her time picking up the discarded dress. His eyes roamed all over her form and she turned away from him walking toward the closet swaying her hips.

When she returned her fiancé met her with a hungry gaze. He pointed to the bed and she cast her eyes downward and bit her lip demurely. She loved it when he took charge in the bedroom. She struck a pose on the bed similar to the famous paintings found in the brothels of Lys. He came up behind her and turned her over on her stomach. She tried to lay perfectly still as he traced the outline of her spine with his finger but it was difficult as his light touches always turned her wanton.

He slid a warm hand between her thighs and separated them. She couldn’t hide the slight tremble in her legs from mere anticipation. He unclasped her garter belt and she felt the press of cold metal followed by a _snip._ He carefully cut off pieces of her smallclothes; with every piece removed he would kiss her exposed skin. His lips lingered on her backside and she rocked slightly anxious to feel more than his lips.

 

 

“Is my wolf getting impatient?” He whispered, she couldn’t help the growl that came from her mouth. He chuckled softly before stepping away from her.

 

 

Sansa strained her ears to sound of him discarding his clothes on the floor but she heard nothing. She turned her head to take a quick peak unable to wait any longer. She froze when her eyes drifted over his muscular and scared body. Life as Elf Captain hadn't been kind but the sight of his scars had always been a turn on. Each and every one was a badge of honor.

 

 

“Naughty little wolf. You’ll be punished for that.” She quickly moved her head back and failed at suppressing a giggle.

 

 

He stood next to the bed and slid a hand underneath her cupping her womanhood. She let out a soft moan as he began lifting, drawing her backside upward toward the ceiling. Sansa tucked her knees underneath her and spread her legs in anticipation of her favorite position. He guided his hands over her legs to shut them.

 

 

“You’re an eager little wolf aren’t you?” He slid a feather pillow under head and she moved it around with her hands until she found a comfortable position.

 

 

She felt the sting of the spank immediately and let out a surprised grunt. He brushed his fingers tenderly over what she could only assume was a visible handprint. She took a quick inhale of air as she felt a hot kiss over the sting. Her momentary discomfort was turning into waves of pleasure. He always knew when she wanted more because she felt another slap on her opposite cheek. Instead of tracing the new handprint with his fingers he used his tongue.

Sansa let out a moan of ecstasy and clenched her thighs tighter. Jory climbed onto the bed behind her naked. He spread her legs apart and traced her folds with his index finger. He slipped it inside and began stimulating her. She gasped as he sunk his finger deep within expertly searching for the sweet spot that made her cry out more than any other. He found it of course and she began rocking and crying out for more. Right as she found her peak he withdrew his finger. She whimpered in protest but said nothing.

He repositioned her backside up high before he took her. She loved this position because she could feel so much more of him as he slammed into her repeatedly. It was a wild and feral way to couple but they were of the North, the wilderness s was in their blood. He gripped her now tender ass rightly as he slammed into her. The pain only intensified her pleasure and she quickly peaked while grunted and continued rutting behind her like the wild dog he was.

 

 

“I want you to fucking howl for me when I make you come again.” He slapped her ass a final time, it was too hard and she let out a warning growl.

 

 

If he were going to give her pain she would have her pleasure. She crawled forward and out of his reach before turning to look at his surprised face. Sansa tackled him and they both slid off the satin sheets and onto the floor. The wind was momentarily knocked out of him and she took the opportunity to dominate him by mounting him in a reverse style. He could still see her ass and covered it with a repentant caress. She began riding him slowly as his hips bucked in response.

 

 

 

In the end it was _he_ who howled for _her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation'
> 
> http://youtu.be/NBTTipJX-h4
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing will win a super funny cameo :)
> 
> Hint: The Hateful Eight


	21. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow

 

**Sansa/Oberyn**

 

**“You want to hurry this up, Clark? I’m freezing my baguettes off.”**

**~Art~**

 

 

 

Sansa leaned over her balcony waiting for the party bus to arrive, her mother of course was furious. Winterfell had stood for more than eight thousand years, and it that time it had hosted Politicians, World Leaders and even Royalty. At no point whatsoever had anyone _ever_ arrived at gates in a party bus. It was uncouth, unthinkable and unforgivable. Guests were expected to arrive in comfort and style; the traditional forms of transportation were luxury cars or limousines. However, to the Martell’s, a party bus _was_ arriving in comfort and style.

 

 

“Honestly Sansa, I don’t know why you’re so worried.” Diana, Jon’s girlfriend nudged her playfully with an elbow.

“Yeah, sis, it’s just a party bus full of drunk and amorous Dornishman. What could possibly go wrong?” Snow, mentioned with a grin. Sansa

"If Obara shows up topless again mother will have an aneurism." She sighed and rested her head on her sister’s shoulder.

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

 

 

 

 

Sansa sat in between her mother and Ellaria while tea was served. Her sisters and Arianne may have abandoned her to this tea party from hell, but Sansa would get them back. The North remembers. Catelyn Stark, set down her teacup and forced a strained smile on her face as Ellaria chewed on a pastry with her mouth open. Her mother sent a warning glance when Sansa stuffed yet another lemon cake in her mouth. Sansa was an up and coming model and she called her daughter every week to make sure she hadn’t gained any unnecessary weight. 

 

 

“Miss. Sand, Sansa informs me you have taught her some new angles and positions that she absolutely adores. Can you please tell me more about that?” Catelyn said with a small smile as she looked proudly at her daughter.

Ellaria spit out her tea and coughed. “Please, excuse me.” She remarked dabbing her mouth with a napkin. “I wasn’t aware Sansa had told you about our sex life. Your daughter receives maximum pleasure in our Ménage a trios when she rides on top of Oberyn while I’m—”

“She was asking about the body positions you've showed me, for _modeling.”_ Sansa hissed cutting her off abruptly.

“Oh?” Ellaria remarked causally while Catelyn looked ill. “Well, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Girls will be girls.” She said with a wink that went unappreciated. “To achieve Sansa’s most favorable position all you need is a chair and a door frame.”

“Are we… are we talking about modeling now… or…or…something else?” Catelyn looked as if she were about to faint, she began to fanning herself.

“Both actually.” Ellaria sat back against the love seat comfortably while Sansa buried her face in her hands. Catelyn left the room in a hurry, suddenly remembering she was needed elsewhere.

 

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

 

 

 

 

Sansa collapsed on her bed dramatically while Diana, Snow and Arya comforted her. Today had been a disaster and she had no idea how she could ever face her mother again. It wasn’t as if she was trying to keep her relationship with Oberyn a secret she simply hadn’t found the right time to mention how serious they were. The Martell’s owned a fashion empire and Sansa was sure her mother was only trying to further her daughter’s career by inviting them. Her mother was unaware how close Sansa had already become with them. How exactly does one bring _that_ up to their mother, anyway? 

 

“It couldn’t be that bad. I’m sure you’re just blowing it out of proportion.” Snow said kindly.

“Remember when Dad caught you in Sandor naked in the hot tub?” Sansa asked through the pillow she was laying face down on.

“Yes.” Snow said sheepishly.

“This was worse.” Sansa said in a muffled voice.

“Gross! My sister is fucking the _Hound?_ ” Arya said while making gagging noises. "Does Jon know what his twin has been up to?" Snow knocked Arya off the bed with a pillow.

"Well, it's not ideal but at least Ellaria didn’t tell her everything. You still have you're sexy Dornish secret don't you?" Diana mentioned with a wink. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

 

" **Oh Gods, Doran...you dirty, dirty boy.... more, yes, yes..."**

 

All the girls turned toward the sexual sounds that seemed to be coming from nowhere.

 

**"Lick it like that... Gods...get your face right in there!"**

 

"Isn't that Osha's voice? Rickon's nanny?" Diana asked in a surprised whisper, sthe girls nodded but shushed her all the same.

 

**"Lick my ass hole! LICK IT!"**

 

"Gods! They are having fucking in Rickon's room. Dad never deactivated the electronic baby monitor. That means every room in the house can hear them." Arya whispered loudly.

 

" **Your tongue feels so good! Taste it... TASTE MY DIRTY HOLE! Yes your fingers... don't stop... Harder.. Yes!  Fuck me in the ass! FUCK ME NOW!**

 

The girls all covered their ears and ran outside laughing. 

 

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

Sansa snatched a hors d’oeuvres from a passing a trey, she felt as if she were starving to death waiting for dinner to be announced. She bumped into Jon and Diana making out in the hallway, Jon accidentally spilled the contents of his champagne flute on her dress they both apologized profusely until Oberyn came to her rescue and Diana pulled her brother further down the darkened hallway. Her lover smiled and began wiping off her chest with his handkerchief. It was an innocent, tender gesture and no one noticed a thing until father lunged at Oberyn. It was clear he had been drinking.

 

 

“I just heard the news and I think it’s wonderful! Ned wrapped his arms around Oberyn and gave him a hug.

“Sansa told you about the baby?” Oberyn asked in his thick accent surprised.

“What?” Ned asked stunned.

“I was talking about Sansa gracing the next cover of that fashion magazine, Stars Over Essos. What baby?” Both men turned to look at her.

"These canapé’s are delicious." She said sadly avoiding her father's disappointed look.

"You fucking Dornish bastard!" He punched Oberyn in the jaw and she gasped as her Viper coughed and spit out some blood. He tackled her father in retaliation and they only stopped when Sansa began crying.

"Stop it! You're ruining everything!" She ran off to the bathroom crying.

 

 

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

 

 

 

 

Sansa pressed a cool, damp hand towel to the back of her neck while she sat cross-legged in the tub. She had practiced what she wanted to say to her parents over and over but in the end it didn’t matter. Her parents knew and what was done was done. Thank the Gods her parent's didn't know _everything_ yet. The knocking on the door stopped and she didn't know if she should feel relieved or disappointed. She frowned at the sound of someone picking the lock, she wondered if it was a sand snake or her own sister breaking in. 

 

 

“Sansa, by the Gods what happened out there?” Diana rushed in while Arya continued to fiddle with the lock.

“Isn't it obvious? Oberyn told Dad about the baby.” Arya said with a smirk.

"Yikes.” Snow said sitting on the edge of the tub, I guess we're lucky there wasn't more blood.

"They probably both hate me now.” Sansa whispered.

"Nonsense, why would you think that? Did someone say something?" Arya said anger flashing in her eyes.

"No. I simply don't Oberyn to feel like I’ve trapped him somehow and I don't want father to be disappointed that I'm not his perfect little girl anymore."

Even if you’re parents think that you are their biggest mistake. You’re not, but even if you were, Margaery Tyrell just arrived. Next to her you look like a saint.” Diana said with a mischievous grin.

"You didn't trap me you rescued me." Oberyn's soothing voice filled the bathroom and the girls parted for him. "

"You're still my baby girl. Now I have to deal with the fact that my baby is having a baby" Her father entered the bathroom with misty eyes. Sansa stood up and hugged the most important men in her life.

"Ned! Ned! It’s the Sand whores! You must do something they are playing strip poker in the dining room." Catelyn burst through the door frantic completely missing Oberyn's presence.

"Sand what?" Oberyn asked his eyes flashing with anger. Her mother paled before regaining her composure. "Obara is sitting on the Blackfish's lap in her smallclothes. Do something!" Catelyn rushed out of the room pulling Ned, aggressively behind her.

 

 

 

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

 

 

Sansa reentered the party linking arms with Oberyn. Nymeria and a blushing Margaery were seated at the dining room haphazardly clothed and her eyes scanned the room for Tyne. The moving tablecloth caught her eye, that and Margaery biting her finger, it didn't take a genius to figure out that the missing Sand Snake was under the table, her on her knees eating Margaery out. Oberyn's mouth twitched into a smile and he led Sansa by the hand to the table. As he pulled out her chair she knocked her cloth napkin on the floor. Oberyn bent down to retrieve it but ended up knocking his head on the table. He cursed and kneeled in front of her. Sansa held out her hand to help him back up.

 

 

 

“Look, Uncle Oberyn’s proposing to Sansa!” Bran announced happily, every set of eyes at the party turned toward them.

“It's not a proposal, they’re already married.” Trystane Martell responded calmly.

“How would you know?” Bran asked suspiciously.

“Because Ellaria married them and I was chosen to be the witness.” Trystane remarked with smugness.

The sound of her mother passing out and hitting the piano keys on the way down would haunt Sansa for years.

 

 

_Let's invite the Martell's for Christmas. What could possibly go wrong?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'Miracle on 34th Street'
> 
> http://youtu.be/TjmMMa5u5hA
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing gets to have a sweet cameo! Awwww the feels 
> 
> Hint: RIP


	22. Miracle on 34th Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow 
> 
>  
> 
> I swear upon all the lemon cakes I will finish up these stories! 
> 
> *Mutters at life getting in the way*

 

 

**Sansa/Barristan**

**“If that’s normal, I don’t want it.”**

**~Kris Kringle~**

 

 

 

 

Judge Selmy dismissed the case and Sansa let out a relieved sigh. The People VS St. Nick had everyone riveted. The High Sparrow himself was leading the prosecution while Petyr Baelish represented the defense. Tyrion Lannister had sent Sansa and Tommy out to the cover the story for his paper. This was her first big assignment, she was to write an expose on the judge, while Tommy covered the trial. Her assignment proved more difficult than she original thought partially due to the fact that she had a thing for rich, powerful, silver haired foxes. So did Tommy but at least her friend had been swept off her feet by a Lannister.

A press conference was held immediately after and Petyr Baelish strutted about like a proud peacock answering everyone’s questions. He paid close attention to Sansa’s questions in particular, his eyes of course, never leaving her chest. She gave up after a while feeling humiliated and degraded. At least _Santa_ sent her a few sympathetic glances her way. She wished he really were Santa, if he was then maybe, just maybe she could finally get what she wanted for Christmas. A man who was brave, gentle and strong. _If only_

It wasn’t a total loss though, Tommy pointed out that Petyr fly was done the whole time and she had the pictures to prove it. She looked forward to viewing those when her friend uploaded them on the internet later. Sansa sat down in her old car with the broken heater she refused to get fixed and sighed contentedly. When heaters broke they usually stopped working, her heater made the interior of her car feel like the deserts of Dorne in the summer. She pulled off her coat, scarf and drove toward home, not easy to do when traffic was at a standstill.

She reluctantly turned toward the cursed, Mad King’s Bridge. This was the same bridge, that claimed the lives of her parents four years prior when they hit an icy patch. Sansa kissed her necklace and gripped the steering wheel tightly as she crossed. Suddenly the tire blew and her car slid on the ice toward the edge. Visions of her mother and father drowning in dark icy waters filled her mind and she called out their names as panic consumed her body and soul.

The sound of crunching metal filled her ears and soon her car was spinning, spinning away from the edge, away from the danger. Sansa wasn’t even aware her car had stopped until she heard a light knock on the window and jumped.

 

 

“Miss Stark? Hello, Miss Stark, are you all right?” It took her a moment to realize she was staring into the face of none other than Judge Selmy. She nodded numbly as he opened the door.

“You smell like the forests of Winterfell. I like it.” She mumbled out as he leaned over her, unbuckling the seatbelt.

“Ah, yes… well thank you.” He held out his hand and helped her out of her car.

“Here.” He wrapped his coat around her shoulders and Sansa leaned into his arms as she let out a stifled sob. His arms were wrapped around her in an instant, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“I’m sorry Judge Selmy. You must think I’m a crying mess.” She was slightly embarrassed and kept her eyes trained to the ground.

“Please, call me Barristan.” She smiled at that and her smile grew when she realized he was smiling as well. “There is no shame in crying Miss Stark. You had a near death experience and don’t forget even an old man like me cries sometimes.”

“Please call me Sansa.” He handed her a handkerchief so she could dry her eyes. “Thank you.” He nodded.

“I apologize for hitting your car but it was the only thing I could think to do at the time. I will pay for any damage of course.” He rubbed her back kindly.

“Of course.” She whispered back.

“I’ll call you a tow truck and drive you home.” He held out his arm and she linked her arm through his and leaned on his shoulder.

“Thank you again Barristan, you ser, are my knight in shining armor.” It almost looked like he blushed when she said that.

“Lady Stark, your carriage awaits.” He opened his car door and Sansa giggled stepping inside.

“Thank you kind Ser, but I’m afraid I must correct your earlier statement.” He raised an eyebrow and looked at her curiously. “You’re not an old man. I’d say you’re in your prime.” This time he did blush slightly as he shut the door.

 

 

 

They drove on in silence and they both seemed fine with that. Her hands had finally stopped shaking and she sighed as she relaxed further into the luxurious leather seat. Barristan sent a side-glance to her before returning his full attention to the road. Did she actually flirt with Barristan Selmy and did he actually flirt back? _What would Tommy do?_ Her friend would make sure the chemistry was real and not a figment of the imagination.

She fiddled with the side buttons on until she turned on the seat warmer, making sure to let out a breathy moan as her bottom warmed up. Barristan gripped the steering wheel harder and focused straight ahead. He definitely noticed the moan but did he find it arousing or repulsive. The only way to know for sure was if she kept applying subtle pressure to the situation. She reached into her purse for her secret weapon.

A candy cane could be considered an innocent holiday treat unless you started sucking on it like a Flea Bottom whore. More than once during the trial she felt the judge’s eyes drift toward her mouth as she licked the peppermint candy. Sansa hadn’t thought much of it before but she was curious to see his reaction now. She owed it to herself to find it out, after all hadn’t she just had a near death experience? It would be a crime to die knowing the last thing between her legs had been battery powered.

The wrapper from her candy cane crinkled and she watched Barristan cast a quick look at her lips before swearing under his breath in what she could only assume to be Dothraki. She took an elongated lick up the peppermint stick while emitting a pleasurable moan. A smirk graced her lips as Barristan rolled down his window a crack. _So he is interested, marvelous._ He was no longer looking at her and she could tell he was using the utmost restraint to stay focused on the road. In a daring bid to get his attention she shoved the entire candy in her mouth before gagging slightly.

 

 

“Careful Sansa, I can’t administer the Heimlich Maneuver while driving.” He was actually sweating now and it emboldened her.

“Actually, if it’s all the same, I’d prefer it if you gave me mouth to mouth.” She almost laughed when his dark eyes bugged out of his head.

“So… how is your candy?” He coughed and adjusted his tie to her delight.

“It’s delicious actually, I love moving my tongue across something that is round and hard.” She gave him a sweet smile as the carve swerved slightly.

“I’ve wondered about that actually. Your penchant for candy canes not… not… the… other thing.” It warmed her heart to see him stammer so beautifully.  

“You’ve never thought about it?” She asked him teasingly.

“I’m sure you have plenty of young men vying for your attention Sansa, the thoughts and wishes of this old man shouldn’t concern you much.” He was frowning now and all she wanted to do was make him smile.

“Thoughts _and_ wishes? You know they say sometimes wishes come true.” She scooted closer to him and ran a hand across his thigh, this time he jumped.

“I’m old enough to be your _grandfather_.” He whispered as her hand slid slowly toward his zipper.

“Good, then you should know what you’re doing.” He chuckled and let out an exasperated sigh. “Judge, if I make you uncomfortable just say stop and I will.” Her hand reached into his silken boxers.

 

 

He unclipped his suspenders and undid his button before casting her a tentative glance. She smiled at him and reached into his pants freeing his hardened cock. His white curls looked like wisps of snow and she tossed her candy cane out the window before she lowered her head onto his lap. She slowly licked his cock starting at the base and swirling her tongue on the head. In response he ran his fingers through her hair tugging gently in a way that sent shivers down her spine.

She relaxed her throat as she guided his cock into her mouth. His breath inhaled quickly and he clenched her hair tighter before relaxing again. She began a slow suck while her tongue flicked playfully up and down his shaft. Her fingers explored his balls sack, caressing and massaging them in an almost reverent manner. He twirled her own auburn locks in between his fingers grunting all the while. She felt the breaks slam on and he grabbed her protectively causing her to gag on his cock.

 

 

“Gods be good!” He gasped as his hips began to buck wildly.  

 

 

She couldn’t hide the smile as she continued deep throating him. He climaxed quickly spilling his seed in her mouth with a strained growl of sorts. She swallowed and sat back up adjusting her hair and makeup in the mirror, while he stared at her in awe. He reached a hand over her lap and she opened her legs expectantly until she realized he was reaching into the glove compartment for mints. She took one and blushed profusely.

 

 

“Sansa, I would love to return the favor but as you can see we are almost home.” He pointed at the avenue of mansions.

“I don’t live here.” She said surprised.

“If you recall, I promised I would take you home. I simply never stated which home.” He winked at her and she smiled back.

“Tell me good Ser, what do you plan on doing to this fair maiden once we’ve reached your castle?” She batted her eyes demurely at him.

“Why Lady Sansa, I plan on defiling you in every single room.” Her mouth dropped open as he drove his car up a beautiful driveway and parked it in front of the largest mansion she had ever seen.

“How many rooms did you say you had?” She asked stunned by its beauty and grandeur.

“It has thirty-eight rooms and forty bathrooms.” He said proudly as he opened her car door.

“That’s a lot of ravishing.” She murmured.

“Yes, it is. I’ll have the chef prepare some food for us to help keep our strength up.” He held out his arm and she accepted it gratefully. A small part of her was wondering what the hell she had just gotten herself into.

 

 

 

The next day Sansa found herself relaxing in the hot tub in the nude. She had lost all her clothes last night somewhere but she was too tired, too sore and too happy to give a damn. Barristan held her hand with a deep smile gracing his features. Who knew that underneath the stoic features of the legendary Judge there lay a sexual animal with an insatiable appetite. The man had to carry her to the hot tub after her legs refused to cooperate.

This had been the best weekend of her life and she was not anxious to see it end. Did he see her as a simple fling? Would he even call her? Was she supposed to call him? The whole thing made her head ache so simply pushed it out of her mind and let the bubbles work their magic.  

 

 

“I am taking a trip to Meereen next month, would you care to join me?” He asked casually.

 “That sounds lovely. What should I bring?” She smiled at the realization that they were in the midst of making plans.

"Nothing, except for perhaps some sunscreen. Slavers Bay is full of nude beaches; I want you to really experience everything the country has to offer.” She splashed him with the water and he chuckled softly. “If you insist you may bring a book for the car but only if you leave your smallclothes at home. “

"So this isn't a one time thing?" She bit her lip, it was almost too good to be true. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"No my sweet girl, I'm afraid you're stuck with this old knight after all, for I refuse to give you up without a fight." They smiled at each other and kissed passionately.

 

 

 

 

Maybe there really was a Santa Claus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story I will be posting will be based on 'The Holiday'
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0p8Su3bdHc
> 
> The first person to correctly guess the pairing will win a super sweet cameo :)
> 
> Hint: Save a horse ride a cowboy!
> 
> Hint 2: "It's the broncs and the blood. It's the steers and the mud and they call the thing rodeo."
> 
> Hint 3: Bull Shit!


	23. The Holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing Jon Snow
> 
> I'm sorry this is so late I had some family health issues that needed my attention!

 

 

**Sansa/Gendry**

 

 

**He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.**

**~Arthur Abbott~**

 

 

 

 

**Sansa:** I need to get out of town for a while, is your beach house in Dorne still available?

**Myrcella:** Of course! Why do you have to get out of town did you finally kill ‘Harry the Arse’?

**Gingerpie** : Please say yes! Did he suffer? Did he cry like the big baby?

**Sansa:** No I didn’t kill ‘Harry the Arse’!

**Myrcella:** Boooo.

**Gingerpie:** Gods, what do you even see in him?

**Sansa:** Nothing anymore, I broke up with him!

**Myrcella:** Really? Why?

**Sansa:** I walked in on him having sex with Margaery.

**Gingerpie:** Ewwww she is so full of STD’s she should be in a medical journal.

**Myrcella:** I don’t think science is ready for her.

**Sansa:** Back to what happened! Class was canceled so I went home early. That’s when I walked in on him ‘spanking his eel’.

**Gingerpie:** Spanking his eel?

**Sansa:** Into my teddy bear. Oh yeah, Margery was behind him.

**Myrcella:** Behind him?

**Gingerpie:** Teddy bear?

**Sansa:** Seriously I DON’T want to talk about it

**Gingerpie:** Too bad! Tell us anyway :)

**Sansa** : Ok so Margaery dressed up in this weird horse costume with a MASSIVE strap on.

**Gingerpie:** SHUT THE FUCK UP!

**Myrcella:** BY THE OLD GODS AND THE NEW

**Sansa:** She was fucking him pretty hard in the ass while he fucked my Mr. Buttons.

**Myrcella:** Seven hells! Who's Mr. Buttons?

**Gingerpie:** He's her teddy bear, the one that I GAVE HER! That motherfucking bear fucker who likes being fucked by a whore horse!

**Myrcella:** Say that three times fast LOL

**Sansa:** Once was plenty!

**Gingerpie:** Spoil sport. Now tell us what happened after the initial bear fucking.

**Sansa:** STOP SAYING THAT!

**Myrcella:** Shame! Poor Mr. Buttons.

**Sansa:** I was stunned at first but then I got angry. Really, really angry. I sprayed them down with a fire extinguisher and they pretty much bolted after that. That’s when I noticed the strap on!

**Myrcella:** Harry and the tramp will rue the day they messed with our favorite ginger! You go and relax in Dorne and let Ginger and I handle everything here!

**Gingerpie:** Yeah, we’ll start by fumigating the apartment then I’ll have Sandor visit Harry in a dark alley ;)

**Sansa:** No dark alley!

**Gingerpie** : Fine, fine I’ll find a different way for us to celebrate our anniversary.

 

 

 

 

Sansa stretched her muscles before going for a morning swim in the ocean. She had been holed up in Dorne for a month while her best friend and cousin had made Harry’s life a living hell. Margaery and Myranda were now social pariahs thanks to security footage catching the trio leaving her apartment in shame, costumes and all.  Ginger had made a vow that she would have her husband snap Harry like a twig if ‘ _that piece of shit’_ left her with any sort of STD. Thankfully Maester Qyburn had given her a clean bill of health.

The cool Saltwater felt good on her skin and she smiled as a gentle waved tumbled her about in the water. Her smile vanished when she realized she was missing her bikini top. _Perfect, just perfect._ She looked toward shore and sighed, the beach was full of tourists. Although Dorne had plenty of nude beaches this wasn’t one of them. Her brow furrowed and she bit her lip. What would Ginger do? _She would march out of this water with her head held high,_ that’ the sort of confidence that had attracted Sandor Clegane to her cousin in the first place. _That and her big boobs._

 

 

“It’s a nice day for a swim.” She turned her head and was startled to see Gendry floating in the water next to her, one arm draped over his surfboard.

“Not really.” She answered with a frown, thankful her long hair was covering her breasts.

“Why is that?” He asked curiously.

“Actually, I lost my top in the water.” She gestured toward her chest and looked around as a blush crept over her cheeks. He started laughing and she splashed him playfully with water. “It’s not funny.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course it is. I’ve always wanted to rescue a damsel in distress, I never imagined it would be my little sisters best friend.” He smiled at her and gave her his hand.

 

 

Sansa took his hand gratefully as he helped her slide up on his surfboard. As his eyes wandered toward her exposed breasts the smile on his face vanished and he cleared his throat before swallowing hard. Now it was her turn to enjoy his discomfort and she carefully wrung out her damp hair before sliding closer to him on the board. They were almost nose to nose and his eyes were locked onto hers. He was doing an excellent job of being respectful and Sansa found it adorable, no not adorable, sexy.

It had been a long time since anyone made her feel sexy and wanted. Ginger told her all she needed to do was bang Harry out of her memories but Gendry wasn’t some random guy. He was Myrcella’s half-brother and he had even dated her sister a few years back. Did he still pine away for her wild sister or had they ended on good terms? She wished she had a closer relationship so she would know these answers instead of simply guessing. _Well, a little flirting never hurt anyone._

 

 

 

 

**Myrcella:** Why did someone just text me a picture of Sansa topless on my brothers surfboard?

**Gingerpie:**  Tommen surfs?

**Myrcella:** Not Tommen, Gendry!

**Gingerpie:** Impossible, Gendry is my one true love.

**Myrcella:** What about your HUSBAND SANDOR?

**Gingerpie:** What? I can’t have two loves?

**Myrcella:** No

**Gingerpie:** *le sigh* I hope Sansa remembered sunscreen, burned nipples are NOT FUN

**Myrcella:** How would you…. You know what never mind. I’m going to make out with Bran and send her a picture. Let’s see how she likes it!

 

 

 

 

They fell through the bedroom door kissing and moaning as their hands wandered over each other’s naked bodies. She had pulled his swim trunks off somewhere in the sitting room and she had no idea where the bottom of her bikini was. He was solid muscle and she intended to lick each and every one of them. His mind must have been thinking similar thoughts because he began kissing and sucking on her breasts causing her to moan in ecstasy. She pouted when he abruptly stopped and shoved himself away.

 

“We need to stop.”’ Gendry said solemnly.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Gods, I’m so stupid. The condoms are in the bathroom." She jumped up before feeling his hand on her wrist.

“Sansa, wait. I can’t have sex on my sisters bed." He motioned around the room. " I mean this is where she sleeps.” Gendry slid his hand off her wrist and grasped her hand, pointing to all the photos that adorned the room. His eyes landing on the one of him and Myrcella at her fifth birthday party. Sansa stood in the background a hand wrapped around Ginger’s waist holding Mr. Buttons.

_Poor Mr. Buttons._

 

Sansa shook her head she did _not_ want to think about _that._ “Gendry, trust me she’s had sex on that bed before.” She almost laughed at the pained expression that crossed his face.

“Shhh.” Gendry closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. “My sister is a virgin. My sister is a virgin.” Sansa covered up her smile and wondered if her brothers felt similarly about her.

“So If you aren't comfortable having sex here, where else would you like to go?” She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her forehead against his.

“I have an idea.” Gendry said with a sly smile.

 

 

 

 

**Gingerpie:** Did I just see the ‘she who shall not be named whore’ walking around in a backless dress, sporting a new and vibrant tattoo on her back?

**Myrcella:** Maybe…… How’d it look?

**Gingerpie:** It looks like she has a giant penis on her back.

**Myrcella:** Lovely :)

**Gingerpie:** How did you do that?

**Myrcella:** She received a free  tattoo coupon in the mail, that girl never could turn anything down. Also she misplaced her glasses, she's blind as a bat without them.

**Gingerpie:** Well played my friend, well played.

**Myrcella:** Cheers.

 

 

 

 

Gendry scooped Sansa up in his arms and ran through the waterfall. She squealed with delight as the cool water poured over their heads. He kissed her lips and Sansa couldn’t help but feel like this was the most romantic moment of her life. He had told her in the car that this place was his sanctuary, his place to escape the world and she felt honored he would share it with her. It made her want to kiss him even more, _if such a thing were_ _possible._

He took her deeper behind the waterfall and they hastily stripped out of their suits before diving into the warm water. It might be snowing in Winterfell but here in Dorne the weather was warm and inviting. He kissed her underwater and their bodies intertwined before they broke the surface gasping for breath. She licked some water droplets off his ear and smiled as Gendry shuddered. He pushed her against a wet boulder, the rough surface rubbed into her back harshly she let out a pleasure filled moan in response.

Sansa wrapped her legs around Gendry’s muscular waist. He gripped the side of the boulder for leverage and looked deep into her eyes. She nodded yes and kissed him as he guided his penis into her. The first thrust was slightly painful due to the angle, she squinted and bit her lip hoping the pain would go ease as they went along. Gendry withdrew himself and kissed her softly offering an apology in her ear before readjusting and thrusting again.

She dug her nails into his shoulder as he thrust into her repeatedly. The rough stone scratched and bit into her flesh but the pain was drowned out by the orgasm that was slowly encased her body. She never knew pain could be so intoxicating. The echoes of their grunts and pants were drowned out by the waterfall and Sansa was filled with an urgent need to be the loudest thing in that cavern. She began to moan louder which spurred him to moan her name and thrust even deeper into her. Her climax came when Gendry dipped his head underwater and licked her nipples. It was too much for Sansa and she screamed so loud her voice grew hoarse. Once he had come up for air Gendry ejaculated into her with a faint smile on his lips.

 

 

 

 

**Gingerpie** : Any reason I have an angry Myrcella in my livening room?

**Sansa** : I have no idea.

**Gingerpie** : Really? I thought she was upset over a certain sex tape she uncovered at her brothers place.

**Sansa** : I plead the fifth.

**Gingerpie** : You sexy mink! I hope you showed Gendry what makes us Tully girls so unforgettable!

**Sansa** : He had no complaints ;)

**Gingerpie** : Well be advised our favorite blonde bombshell has a voodoo doll with your names on them. Let me know if your leg falls off later.

**Sansa** : Will do.

 

 

 

 

Sansa held Gendry's hand in the Kings Landing Memorial Hospital.  Maester Qyburn explained that Gendry would be fine after a few weeks of rest but they should abstain from anymore sexual activity until he was completely healed. Sansa would have been more relieved if their entire family hadn't also been gathered around. Robert seemed downright pleased unlike her father, Ned simply looked like he wanted to jump out the nearest window. Myrcella buried her head on Bran's shoulder who smiled like the love struck fool he was while Gingerpie snapped pictures with her new phone. Sansa kissed Gendry's lips apologetically.

 

 

"Merry Christmas, Gendry."

"Merry Christmas, Sansa."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story will be based on 'The Polar Express'
> 
> The first one to correctly guess the pairing wins a spicy came ;)
> 
> Hint: Girls, Girls, Girls


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